So I was hanging out in the arcade at the student union, waiting for the Noam Chomsky speech (which ended being rather boring, but that’s a whole other thread), and decided I wanted a soda.
You know how sometimes a machine will cough up an extra can? Well, this time, I got about 20 root beers all at once.
After a carefully thought-out assessment of the situation (which I cleverly disguised by shouting “HOLY CRAP!”), I tried to figure out what to do with my bounty. I felt that keeping them would’ve been stealing, but on the other hand, there wasn’t anyone to hand the sodas off to. And if I didn’t do something with them, they would’ve been taken anyway (they were clogging the machine something fierce).
Anyway, people were staring, wondering what I was going to do with all my soda.
So I went ahead and gave a root beer to every damn person in the arcade. It felt good, and I had a couple cans left over to smuggle into the speech.
I think I’d like to be a professional philanthropist. I wonder what it pays.