When my mother was married in the 40’s, she received a set of sterling silver flatware as a wedding gift. In that generation, this was pretty common, and “the good silver” was reserved for holidays and special dinner parties.
Do any brides still get sterling flatware? Do you have “good silver”? When did you get it? What is your age group? When do you use it?
I have sterling, but my husband and I bought it ourselves after we had been married 5 years. I just couldn’t ask people to pay that much (I think a spoon was $20 or something) for my wedding. Now, of course, it costs a little more.
I use it every day. It doesn’t tarnish that quickly, and what am I saving it for? I will give it to my daughter when she wants it, or if she wants it.
My sister got her silver plate flatware as a shower gift from her mother-in-law, and I gave my brother’s wife her silver plate flatware for one of her showers, but I don’t know if you would count silver plate as good silver.
I’m 61.
Some do, but we have a set from my husband’s family, and I stand to inherit 2 more sets from my mom (hers came down from her MIL, and Aunt). My grandmother tries to get me to take hers, every time I see her (she’s in excellent health).
I think we’re set for silver. I certainly would not (and did not) go asking for more, as a special gift.
On a similar note, my mom has 4 set of china she’d be happy to give if I were to need it for large-scale formal dining (we only use at holidays). My great-grandma’s is the classiest.
We didn’t have a wedding registry since we eloped. My grandma gave me her good silver from the 1940’s back when I moved out of my parent’s house. My family always said that the oldest granddaughter (me) would inherit it. She just gave it to me early. I haven’t really used it yet. We don’t have people over that often. I’m not good at or interested in cooking, and I feel like the good silver and dishes (also given to me by my grandma) deserve to be used for a better meal than just pizza or takeout. Maybe I’ll use it next time family is here just to give it some good use. I’m nearly 30.
I’m 31. I don’t know anyone who would dream of asking for or having silver flatware, except one girl who never stood a chance of marrying and has now become a career invalid. Her mommy takes care of her. Her mommy has silver.
I don’t think the women I know are interested in the “status” or the upkeep involved. I’d buy silver if I found some at a great price at a flea market, not otherwise.
I got married in 1978. We registered for sterling flatware and received quite a number of pieces. People gave us a teaspoon or fork. I think we ended up with six place settings, then inherited 12 more in the same pattern from a family friend, plus a ton of serving pieces. We use it for Thanksgiving and Christmas, even when there are only three of us at the table. I keep it in a silver chest, so it doesn’t need a lot of upkeep.
I got married in '93. My step-mom tried to talk my fiancee (now ex-wife) and me into registering for china and silver. We thought that it was the stupidest idea in the world. We’re both so informal. The idea of either one of us having an event where we would need special forks and plates is beyond ridiculous.
My sister got married a couple of years later and did register for that type of stuff. I paid like $250 to get her one place setting of sliver. I’ll have to ask her if she ever uses it. I know she is set to inherit our grandmother’s silver and china (I think that there’s china. I’m not sure.) which is fine by me. I have no use for it plus I don’t have kids and she has two so she can pass it on.
I’m sure it still goes on out of sheer force of tradition and there are people who truly get use out of it and enjoy it.
I have some of the family tableware - from when my g-g-g-g-grandparents got married in 1835. I have some Limoges place settings for 16, enough silver flatware for 16 and baccarat crystal red wine, white wine and water goblets for 16. We have the bills of lading and other paperwork for the dinnerwares but not the barrels they arrived packed in.I also have a silver tea set [it has the creamer and sugar bowl and tray along with the pot] that were given to my great grandmother as part of her wedding goodies in 1894.
I am missing 5 or 6 pieces of the limoges, random damage over the past hundred odd years of use. I have served formal dinners using the stuff. It is a pain because it is all hand wash. I will probably at some time make the effort to replace the missing pieces when we have the free money and time to hit auctions. I would rather buy it in person rather than off the internet, I want to check for damage and wear.
I did get a few nice pieces of stuff for my first wedding - my favorite is a waterford verona bowl. It makes a great low centerpiece on the table.
I got half of my mother’s that she bought as a young single gal. It makes me cry to think about it because there she was, 20 or so years old, paying a few bucks she couldn’t spare every week to get a coupon that could be redeemed for a fork or a knife or something after the war if we won the war. Now that’s optimism. There are still a couple of coupons in the chest that never got redeemed.
My sister got the other half, and now she’s dead. I wanted to ask her husband if he would be willing to sell it to me, but I had a sinking feeling she sold it, which is what he told me she did with our mother’s diamond ring when I offered to buy that. At least I can buy more of the pattern on eBay or something.
I want to use my mother’s silver and my grandmother’s china for a holiday dinner, but my mother-in-law always announces she’s hosting and there’s nothing I can do about it. We don’t have room for that many people anyway. I think this year if I tell my husband I want to have our own dinner he will support me.
I’m in my 30s and was married a little more than 5 years ago. We received a set of silver as a wedding gift, as did just about every friend of mine who has been married in the past decade. We also inherited another set when my in-laws died several years ago. I’d say we use it 6 or 8 times a month, probably more around the holidays.
It’s one of those major classes of wedding gift, yes, like china and housewares. I’ll only be registering for a few serving pieces, though, because my mom has a metric asston of Chantilly that she’s amassed over the years and I’ll eventually be getting that. I can borrow some if I like.
Before we married in 1968, my wife’s grandparents took her to The jewelery store and let her pick out both stainless and sterling. As far as I can remember, the sterling has never been out of the beautiful wooden case it came in. We still use the stainless. My sister is a little older. I don’t know where she got her sterling, certainly not from our parents. She used it as her everyday silverware.
My wife put the kabosh on it when I suggested letting one of our kids have it or her grandmother’s china boxed up in the spare bed room for at least 10 years. That was a few years ago when both kids were here Memorial Day weekend. I told them to pretend we were dead and go through the house and take what they wanted. I did get rid of a few things. We have a good sized 4 bedroom house packed full of stuff much of it unused for at least 20 years. I have followed up on my threats to haul stuff to the rescue mission with a few things. Others I should be photographing for Ebay instead of loafing here.
It’s sad to think of it all sitting, waiting for special occasions. Use it! It’s a nice weight, feels good, and is pretty. Yes, you have to hand wash it, but take it out of the box and enjoy it.
Having to hand wash it makes it impossible to enjoy using it.
Anyway I don’t really think there’s anything exceptionally great about using silver. It isn’t really that pretty. The weight isn’t something I notice or prefer. It’s just more work. My regular flatware (Target, mais bien sur) suits me fine and if the cat drags a teaspoon behind the couch and I never see it again, I really don’t care.
It takes 10 or 15 minutes. Big deal.
Just because it’s not MUCH work doesn’t mean it’s work I want to do for absolutely no benefit. I fucking hate doing dishes. HATE.
I am 34 and single. I have my great-grandmother’s silver and her china. I use it throughout the year and on holidays.
When my cousin got married ten years ago, they registered for china, but I don’t remember silver. I haven’t silver on a registry for any of my friends or close relatives.
Since I hand wash all my dishes, the silver isn’t a big deal.
If you see absolutely no reason to use silver, then why even bring up the cleaning aspect?
It isn’t better than any other flatware, but it would be equivalently useful, except for the additional work, which makes it worse.
I don’t know, the OP’s post made it sound like silver is languishing in drawers because it’s “too good for everyday” when it reality (for me) its “too much effort for everyday.” That’s why I brought it up.
Gotcha.
No, we don’t use it everyday, though my grandparents did. I’ve heard that older dushwashing detergents didn’t damage silver as much, but I’m not positive about that.