The Great Green Sheet Mystery

Phenomenon to be explained: A torso-shaped greenish spot on my sheets.

Hypothesis #1: I drank two bottles of Gatorade which contained blue 1. As this often colors urine and other bodily excretions, it could color sweat, which could stain the sheets.

Hypothesis #2: I purchased a green shirt from EMS that was not pre-washed. Before washing said shirt, I slept in said shirt. It could have rubbed off on the sheets.

Question: Which hypothesis is more likely? What would be your next step in scientific investigation?

Simple test. The shirt covers the thoracic and abdominal area, you sweat all over. Does the stain extend further than any reasonable area in contact with the shirt?

Ooh! Like the pillow, is there a stain on the pillow? That would almost certainly prove either one or the other hypothesis.

If you slept in a new, green shirt and you now have a green, shirt-shaped stain on your sheets, I’d say that seems the more likely explanation.

Presumably it’s not the first time you’ve had the blue drink (blue drinks? What the hell is that about?), without noticing any staining other times? Anyway, if there’s enough blue in you to come out in your sweat, I think you’d be pretty much smurfed.
Have you considered widening the range of your hypotheses? Alien abduction? Contact with radioactive laboratory animals? Careless immersion in vats of toxic waste? Have you noticed whether you have developed any super powers? (besides the amazing ability to create green torso-shaped stains while sleeping)

Instead of drinking two bottles of gatorade before bed, drink ten. And a sleeping pill. And maybe some ExLax. When you wake up, check for a stained sheet.

(Asking this on April 1st may not guarantee scientifically accurate experiments)

It’s the Shroud of Richard Parker!

Were you ever in Turin? Did Jesus drink Gatorade? Did he sleep in a green shirt?

Ok, ok, to be honest, I was tempted to turn this into an April Fool’s Joke. Next I drank a red gatorade and my sheets were now two pastel colors…and so on.

But this really happened! It’s an honest question. A few replies:

My girlfriend swears she can see it on the pillow. I’m not so sure. But, I do have two new greenish marks where my wrists set on my white Macbook. I didn’t notice them until this morning.

But I’ve done that a dozen times before without this happening. Have you ever slept in a new t-shirt without washing it? Has this ever happened to you?

I have had it before once or twice, but not when I’m bedridden (I was sick for a few days and hydrating with Gatorade).

TMI Alert

When I’ve had this particular gatorade before, it turns my bowel movement completely green. The effect is much stronger than any other food dye I’ve ever experienced. That’s what leads me to even consider the sweat hypothesis

Frankly, I find both hypotheses rather implausible. But I can’t think of anything more plausible. Should I experiment? I’m a little reluctant to stain another sheet. Anyone care to propose some controlled experiments?

Well, there’s always the kitchen table. Just wipe it down before you have breakfast.

This advice applies to dyes, sweat and other bodily secretions.

Any unusual soreness or tenderness in the rectal area? Any unpleasant, smelly disharge from the genitals?

Drink the gatorade.

Put on white t-shirt.

Go for a jog.

Check t-shirt for staining.

Ok, I’ll perform the jog test. But first we need to I want to weed out any other variables. Does the amount of dye absorbed/expelled vary with amount or type of food in the stomach? What about hydration or metabolism? It seems like it could vary pretty wildly depending on those factors. How long before the jog should I ingest the gatorade?

i believe a gov. grant may have to be involved. there will be a lot of paperwork. don’t get any green on it, or you won’t get any green.

Have you washed the shirt? If not, rub it on a white piece of paper, and that should tell you if the dye rubs off. Then soak it in some salt water before you wash it, to set the color.

How soon before sleeping did you ingest the gatorade? The same time difference should work for the jog test (brilliant idea,** EmAnJ**).

Just to be sure, drink nothing but the blue gatorade for a day and then do the jog test the next day, that should yield some conclusive results.

I don’t wear a shirt in bed. I’ve had some new t shirts that bleed dye in the first wash and others that don’t though - so it could still be this - it could be this particular brand of shirt, or this particular dye, or even a manufacturing fault causing the dye not to have been fixed properly in this single shirt (maybe you have some details that eliminate these possibilities though).

That is interesting (and a bit scary), but that’s only evidence of the blue colouring staying in your digestive system, so far.

Write to Adam can Jamie.

Can drinking too much Gatorade stain your sheets green?

Maybe they’ll put Kari between the sheets.

this happens to me too, but only with BLUE powerade.

Only it coats the outside of the turd. remember those watermelon starburst with the “rind” and “center” ? Exactly like that. It’s wierd.

What color was the sheet before it got stained?

All I can tell you is that when I wear a new pair of dark blue jeans, my legs are usually blue by the end of the day.

I so do not want to know how you know that.

Maybe he shits from a height.