The Great Mod Breeding Program

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Whilst I recognise the sterling work our moderators do as much as the next man, it occurs to me that they can’t last for ever and that the signs of senility are already creeping in. So what of the next generation? Are we to leave it to mere chance? Surely we can come up with something better!

So I set my great mind to the task and have created the Great Mod Breeding Program. With this, we will create a new generation of SuperMods who will once again be able to rule us with benevolence and calm.

I humbly submit to you my suggestion:

Start simply:

Breed Coldfire with Unclebeer to produce Cold Beer, who would always be welcome in a MPSMIS thread

Manhattan with Alphagene to produce Man Gene, a determined character who could make sure that the staff don’t receive too much grief in their Comments forum.

TVeblen with TubaDiva to produce TV Diva, who could moderate the ATMB forum as it shouldn’t take too much of their precious time.

Alphagene with David B to produce Alpha B, a purveyor of words to look over those who would argue in Cecil’s Comments

JillGat with Arnold Winkelried to produce Ill Wind - who would moderate the pit, naturally.

CK Dexter Haven with TubaDiva to produce Cuba - who would moderate GD of course

Czarcasm with John Corrado to produce Zorro who could easily keep the peace in GD.

CK Dexter Haven with TubaDiva to produce Have Tuba, fun to have in MPSIMS

Then it gets more tricky, as we need to work over more than one generation:

Breed Chronos with JillGat and then the union with Coldfire to produce Chill Fire, natural moderator of the Pit.

Breed Gaudere with Eutychus and the resulting union with CK Dexter Haven to produce Gaudy Check, moderator of IMHO

Breed Uncle Beer with David B whilst also breeding Arnold Winkelreid with Lynn Bodoni. Create the union of the results, to produce Beer Belly, another natural moderator of MPSIMS.

Breed David B, John Corrado and Arnold Winkelried in a big vat to produce David John Arnold - every man’s everyman and a natural arbiter of IMHO.

There. If we all work together now to bring the mods into captivity, we can start work before it is too late!

pan

2

Got some good ideas there, but I’ll let YOU go and capture the mods. I’ll stay on the outside of the corral, where it’s safe. I’ve watched those shows on Discovery Channel, and it ain’t pretty sometimes, especially if you don’t hit them just right with the tranquilizer dart - infuriates 'em rather than sedates 'em. And an infuriated mod is soemthing you do not want to mess with.

Then again, a large box of quality chocolates and copious amounts of bee may work better than a tranq dart.

The Great Moderator Round-Up. Hmmmm. Can I run the videocams?

3

Hmm. Don’t want to use tranquilizer darts - I’ve heard that on cold blooded animals in particular, this can cause them problems :wink:

I thought that I’d hook a couple of ropes around their upper jaw and get a few stout men to drag them along the floor, so that I can sneak up behind and jump on their back. Five of us or so should then be able to wrestle 'em to the ground and bag 'em. Except Unclebeer - that one might need a few more of us. Are you with me?

pan

4

Just remember:

[Kirk]
Superior Mod intellect means superior Mod ambition. Remember and heed the lesson of Kahn Noonian Sing.
[/Kirk]

5

does the very idea of the mods breeding make anyone else shudder?

Clean out the gene pool.

6

Hey, it’s perfectly natural! I’ve seen 'em on nature documentaries.

The courtship ritual’s a bitch though…

pan

7

Oh yeah, it sounds great in theory but once you get the mods all straightened out, what are you gonna do about the dopers? Hmmm.

jarbabyj plus Myron Van Horowitzski gives you a baby brain in a jar?

8

That was funny as hell, kabbes.
You’re the Rob of Petri dishes.