My god people, we all have to stand in line together for hours.
Blue hairs: I don’t care if the last time you fired up the Edsel and gussiest up for town was in 1942, you smell like you ground up a bunch of French whores and soaked in it.
Player guys: Maybe that Horrible cheep cologne works on some skank at the club by sheer effect of it overwhelming the functioning of the nervous system, but I have to wait next to you asshole.
Soccer Mom: We can all notice you didn’t get a shower this morning. Now your smell is both unshowered, and a rodents ass gland, not better four your information.
I blame someone or something through voter suppression by chemical warfare, and I will have my vengence. I think I may have voted for Pat Buchannen cause I couldn’t see through my eye tears valiantly struggling to wash away pea-soup thick fumes, but to no avail.
Just FYI, that cheap cologne is probably Drakkar Noir, one of the worst men’s colognes out there. And you forgot another group of offenders, the teen boys and their subtle Axe fragrances.
ETA: Thought of another group of offenders - the chic smoking women. They are dressed to the nines, complete with buckets of perfume to try to disguise their cigarette smell (it doesn’t work - they just smell like perfumed ashtrays).
Attention voters: that flashing red light on the machine means you have already spent five minutes trying to figure out how to vote, and are allowed only two minutes more to cast your ballots. At the end of that time, a trap door will open beneath your feet and you will vanish forever. Have a nice day!!!
Hmm. I used to wear this. Would it help if I pointed out that it’s not particularly cheap, or that I wear cologne sparingly and infrequently (it can take me 10 years or more to exhaust a bottle)?
No?
Fine. I’ll throw the rest of it away, if I can find it. My wife claimed to like it, though. Was she humoring me?
