The gun song

The BBQ Pit
1

I posted this way back in May of last year. There are a lot of new members that haven’t read it, so I thought I’d share it once again:

The gun song

Guns are neat, Guns are sweet, Guns the tool that makes ya cool.
Guns are fine, Guns are mine,Guns are things that Jesus brings.
Guns for loonies, Guns for cons,Guns for Moonies, Guns for moms.
Guns are fun for everyone, buy them up by the ton. Guns for me, Guns for you, Guns for nuts and children too! Guns at home, Guns at work, Guns at play, Guns berserk!
Tons and tons of great big Guns are tons and tons of great big fun!
I’ve got Guns up my nose tween my ears and by my toes. I’m no fool I’m so cool I take Guns to my school.
I take Guns in my car, to the store and to the bar. I got Guns in a drawer,in my pocket and on the floor.
I got Guns on the wall, in my bed and in the hall.
Get a Gun and get it fast, shoot someone, it’s a blast!

Krispy Original – voted SDMB’s 19th most popular poster (1999)

2

You don’t like guns, do you?

Still trying to think of something witty to say here

3

Sorry, Krispy, for this hijack, but reading your song reminds me of one of my favorite songs. Many people already know this song, I suspect, so I apologize if I mess up some of the words:

**I Smoke Two Joints **

I smoke two joints in the morning.
I smoke two joints at night.
I smoke two joints before I go to bed.
It makes me feel alright.
I smoke two joints in times of peace.
And two in times of war.
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints.
And then I smoke two more…

Now we could combine the two themes into one song called Stoned People With Guns:

*I smoke two joints before I play with guns.
Oh, mahn, what was I doing, again?
*

Feel free to add on…

4

Krispy,

I never thought I’d say it, but I agree with you.

heres to hoping we can agree with something else in the future

John Larrigan

“82.35% of all statistics are made up on the spot”–Vic Reeves

5

Ummm, what’s the point, Krispy? Who’s the artist? Without knowing the artist, I’m thinking it’s a parody. If not, why is this worse than any of the cop killin’ gangsta rap?

“Your posting style resembles a cross between a spastic squirrel and one-handed ventriloquist.”
–Mullinator, paraphrased–

6

Agree with what? I don’t see any opinion posted or am I just stupid?

7

The gun song

Guns for loonies, Guns for cons,Guns for Moonies, Guns for moms.
Guns are fun for everyone, buy them up by the ton. Guns for me, Guns for you, Guns for nuts and children too! Guns at home, Guns at work, Guns at play, Guns berserk!
**
[/QUOTE]

The piont I see in it is the crazyness of the availability of guns.

The song is a parody.

Does that make more sense?

John Larrigan

“82.35% of all statistics are made up on the spot”–Vic Reeves

8

Well, I assumed it was a parody and posted, saying just that. I’m still wondering what Krispy thinks of it, though.

Again I’m assuming, since I lack any concrete facts, or even a statement of opinion, that it somehow pisses off Krispy. He did post it in the pit after all.

So, oh overbaked and burnt around the edges soda cracker, I ask again, what’s the point?

9

Uncle,

I like the gun song. I think it works on a couple of different levels. I like to whip it out during arguments with gun advocates…

Krispy Original – voted SDMB’s 19th most popular poster (1999)

10

Gotch, K.O. You don’t happen to know the artist do you?

11

As far as I can determine, it was the original work of a person on a local messageboard that I frequent. This person posted under various handles, and was using the handle Wright Writewing at the time it was first posted. I asked if I could copy it and use it elsewhere and Wright said it was OK…

Here is the link to the first time that I used it here on the SDMB:
http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/000494.html

The following is part of an analysis that I wrote (back in May, 1999) about the song:

{i]Guns are neat, Guns are sweet, Guns the tool that makes ya cool.

This first line DOES in fact reflect a reality. You yourself think guns are neat…so do tens of thousands of collectors. It’s a fact (whether it embarrases the gun lobby or not) that SOME number of people that buy or otherwise aquire guns do so to feel “cool”…in the exact same way that some folks smoke cigarettes or cigars to be “cool” or “chic”…

Guns are fine, Guns are mine,Guns are things that Jesus brings.

Again, plenty of people think that guns are just fine and believe it or not I actually know a person that posts on another message board that claims that the right to own a gun is a (get this!) “God-given” right.

Guns for loonies, Guns for cons,Guns for Moonies, Guns for moms.

This line seems to accurately reflect that mental stability is no precusar to gun ownership…that even religious cult members have them…and that plenty of mothers are gun owners.

Guns are fun for everyone, buy them up by the ton.

Estimates are that there are more than 200 million firearms in the US today…certainly “tons” by any measure. Also, do you yourself dispute that they can be “fun” (target practice, sport hunting)…

Guns for me, Guns for you, Guns for nuts and children too!

This correctly reflects your own stance that the right to own a gun applies to everyone.

Guns at home, Guns at work, Guns at play, Guns berserk!

Who can deny that guns are found in homes?..that guns have been brought into the workplace (ala the post office)…or that plenty of people have gone “berserk” with guns…

Tons and tons of great big Guns are tons and tons of great big fun!

Somewhat repetitive…I’ve already established that there are tons of guns in the US, but the other point is that you certainly don’t want to restrict the number of guns that a person can own…right?..

I’ve got Guns up my nose tween my ears and by my toes.

OK, a little artistic liscense here…but really now, some of feel that guns are being “shoved in our faces”.

I’m no fool I’m so cool I take Guns to my school.

Need I remind you now that this is a very sad and deadly reality?

I take Guns in my car, to the store and to the bar. I got Guns in a drawer,in my pocket and on the floor.
I got Guns on the wall, in my bed and in the hall.

These next few lines correctly depict real life. Thousands of people take and store their guns in these very places.

Get a Gun and get it fast, shoot someone, it’s a blast!

I’ve actually read commentary from gun advocates that warn us to quickly go out and buy up more guns now before proposed legislation becomes law. As for the very last part, come on now Ex, many types of guns are designed for one purpose only, to kill other human beings.*

Krispy Original – voted SDMB’s 19th most popular poster (1999)

12

okatym,

I really enjoyed the two joints song…

Krispy Original – voted SDMB’s 19th most popular poster (1999)

13

I can’t quite remember where I read that. A little help?

First, I’m not what you would refer to as “one of those gun nuts.” I don’t even own one. But I’ve thought about it long and hard.
And some of the things that have happened recently (Colorado, etc.) have been tragic.
But are more restictions the answer? Ask Great Britian how they’re doing with their draconian restrictions.

If a workable solution is out there, I’m all for it. But has any restrictive legislation worked in decreasing crime and violence? Why do you think more laws on the books are going to work any better?

The only feasible solution to end the problem completely is to totally eliminate them (guns). But according to that antiquated and outdated (some would think so)document quoted at the top, you simply cannot do that.

As much as I hate to say this, occasional tragedy is one of the prices of a free society. And if you start to take freedom away, where do you stop?

Still trying to think of something witty to say here

14

“Ask Great Britian how they’re doing with their draconian restrictions.”

well…for one they’ve got a much lower murder rate than we do…
(was this a very subtle argument for gun control?)

I think I know I mean
Yes but it’s all wrong
That is I think I disagree

15

It’s not a very good one, despite what you may think. It is foolish to assume that just because a specific country has a lower murder rate than us and extremely tight restrictions on firearms doesn’t mean that extreme gun control=lower murder. Correlation does not automatically mean causation.

Now, about that song…

Guns for loonies, Guns for cons,Guns for Moonies, Guns for moms.

This line seems to accurately reflect that mental stability is no precusar to gun ownership…that even religious cult members have them…and that plenty of mothers are gun owners.

First of all, we have laws prohibiting people who have been diagnosed as mentally unstable, as well as convicted felons. And as for mothers, what’s wrong with a mother wanting to have a means to protect her family, provided she takes steps to make sure her kids don’t play with it?

Guns at home, Guns at work, Guns at play, Guns berserk!

Who can deny that guns are found in homes?..that guns have been brought into the workplace (ala the post office)…or that
plenty of people have gone “berserk” with guns…

Despite what the media would have you believe, the type of shootings they love to rub in your face are nothing compared to the crime that goes on in America on a daily basis.

I’m no fool I’m so cool I take Guns to my school.

Need I remind you now that this is a very sad and deadly reality?

And as I said before, very rare.

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.

16

Normally I would agree with this. But if you just look at the raw data, you will have to agree that all (well, I’m sur that there is an exception although I can’t think of one) countries with stricter gun control than the US all have lower murder rates too.

I’m sure it is not the ONLY influence, but at least we could give it credit for the common denominator it is: less availability of guns seems to lower murder rates. Doesn’t sound like an unsound conclusion to me.

Coldfire

“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
17

What the Dutchman said

(signed :slight_smile: a Brit

18

Actually, Britain may not quite be the “Gun Free/Crime Free” utopia that many gun control advocates like to use as a model for comparison.

Results Are In on British Gun Laws

More info as it develops.

<FONT COLOR=“GREEN”>ExTank</FONT>

19

ExTank:
Udaman! That was what I was referring to in my statement, but I couldn’t find the reference. Thanks.

Still trying to think of something witty to say here

20

Nu Vo Da Da:

According to the Bureau of Justice Uniform Crime Statistics, they may have overall fewer gun-related crimes than we do, but per capita, they have more. Remember, GB has a smaller population than we do, so if you look at per capita (percentiles), the numbers come up a lot differently; and they [GB] have a significantly higher armed robbery rate than we do.

GB: No guns in the hands of the populace; only criminals and cops.

USA: Many guns in the hands of the populace and police; fewer in the hands of the criminals.

GB: Higer murder, aggravated assault and armed robbery rates; and the rate is increasing.

USA: Lower murder, aggravated assault and armed robbery; and the rates are declining.

Makes a pretty un-subtle argument against gun control, huh?

<FONT COLOR=“GREEN”>ExTank</FONT>