The Haphazard Gourmet

Cafe Society
1

Ever have one of those moments where you want something good, but really don’t want to cook. And you’re too lazy to even go out for takout or a rotisserie chicken or something? And there’s nothing frozen or canned within easy grasp that you are in the mood for?

So you stare at your cupboard, pantry, fridge…hungry, yet unmotivated. You could just grab some deli meats and slap them between two slices of bread and mustard, but…nahhh. Grab a dish of ice cream and forget about it? ::sigh:: No, no, you’ll just feel guilty about it. You want real food, dammit, you just want it without expending any real effort; because it’s the weekend, and you’re feeling like a big lazy slug, and why mess with a good thing?..

"Oh, crap, what is there to eat around here?..Nah, pfft, no, no, too much trouble, no way, that shit is disgusting, no, oh be serious…uhhh…hmmm. Gourmet marinated mushrooms? Boy, those are tasty. Not exactly a meal, though…sooo, hey, some marinated sun-dried tomatoes over here. Them’s pretty good too. Mushrooms…tomatoes…needs meat! Or something. Oh, ah, got some chicken breasts right here. Awright, what else? Errrr…well, what more do I need?

Great…so…now what? You got your chickens, your mushrooms, your tomatoes…little bit o’ dis, little bit o’ dat…oh fuck it, throw it all together in a dish. Whoah. That’s a lot of oil or marinade, or whatever that is. OK, dump off some of the marinade…but it’ll still need a bit more flavor. Errr…what’ve we got in here? Some kinda sauce or something is what I need…ermmmm…“Newman’s Own Olive Oil and Vinegar Salad Dressing”. Salad dressing?? Hell, why not? This is disgusting. Nah, it’ll be fine. Whatever. What’s this? “Italian Seasoning”…Awright, few dashes of that, too.

OK, so, I dunno, drizzle a little salad dressing on there, throw the chicken, marinated mushrooms, sun-dried tomatoes topped with some spices in a casserole dish and, uhhh…cook it! How? The oven! Yes! 'K, so it needs to be hot, of course. How hot? 375 F? Sounds good to me. Cook until…it’s done. Which will be…when? Whatever, how about 45 minutes? Fine. Back to the couch…

<45 minutes later>

::sniff sniff:: Hey, that smells pretty good. Really good, in fact. Lemme just spear a hunk of chicken here…wife’s not around, don’t need a plate…mmmmm. MMMMMM! Holy shit, that’s mighty good! What have I done? I thought it was gonna be dog food! Man, those tomatoes, with the marinade and the olive oil…and the chicken’s so juicy and got a nice tang to it! Hot damn, how’d I do that??"
Ever have one of those meals? :wink:

2

Every night, lately.
Mine usually ends up being curry or quiche. Hard to mess up a curry. Enough cumin and coriander, and just about anything tastes pretty good. Especially if you find a half a jar of chutney in the back of the fridge that’s still okay

3

I used to do this kind of thing a lot before I was married.

Now Mr. Neville complains about things like a balanced meal and following a recipe if I do.

I take that and all complaints about my cooking to mean “Let me cook,” just like I take complaints about my driving to mean “Let me drive” :wink:

4

I once made the tastiest meal ever out of ramen noodles (sans flavor packets), diced chicken, a can of pineapple, a couple diced baby carrots, and some teriyaki sauce. I tried to duplicate it once, and have never been able to. It was sooooo good.

Then again, I was also 19 years old and incredibly stoned–I was lucky I could find the stove.

5

I often find I have a leftover half of a stale baguette, so I slice it lengthwise and toast it under the broiler, rub it with a clove of garlic, and drizzle it with olive oil. Just about any leftover, diced up and put on top of this toast, tastes good. You can call it “crostini” and pretend you planned it that way. Good toppings:

Canned white beans mixed with chopped parsley, olive oil, lemon juice and some sliced black olives.

Canned tuna mixed with ditto.

That last tomato, diced and mixed with basil, white wine vinegar and sea salt.

The half of a chop or steak left over from earlier in the week, diced and mixed with capers, red wine vinegar, cracked black pepper and chopped green olives.

Etc., etc.

6

A boxed mix of Jambalaya or red beans and rice, with the two leftover brats that you threw on the BBQ the other day mixed in.

I almost always keep some staples on hand - rice, chicken in the freezer, frozen fish, frozen vegetables. And I keep lots of marinades and sauces, and some odd things like capers and artichoke hearts. These can all mix and match pretty well.