Nothing is known about our most populat Action Figure, people just like it because it’s new.
Homer, the epic poet.
Comes with busts of Rembrandt and Aristotle to contemplate (making it a pity he’s blind).
Mary Surratt
Accessorized with two ropes, one to place around neck and the other to tie around her skirt to keep it from flying upwards as she swings. Trapdoor sold separately.
Teddy Roosevelt
Pull his string with the San Juan Hill play kit, and he cries, “Follow me!”
Comical glasses included, as well as fighting gorilla and gun with bent barrel!
Mata Hari
Mata Hari: she dances, she prances, she sends secret messages to whomever you choose!
Comes complete with fans, skimpy outfit, and Lifelike pose-ability!
(and what was wrong with Richard the III? I loves me some Yorkist er-never mind…)
(and sorry about the Lennon thing-must have overlooked him somehow)
John Belushi
Comes with both gauzy belly-dancer costume and wooden shoes.
Betty Friedan
The John Belushi action figure comes with breakthrough doll technology; Realistic Arching Eyebrow Action, activated by several stimulating substances. This allows the Belushi figure to surpass other action figures with an amazing, yet subtle intensity.
John Belushi comes dressed in his Bluto oufit, in character with his “Animal House” role, but this is one doll you definetely want to by the auxilary outfits for: Joliet Jake Blues, Bee, Samurai Warrior, Cheeburger guy, and Joe Cocker; endless hours of high-octane play are to be had with the mere change of outfits.
Other companion action figures include: Dan Ackroyd, Robin Williams, Robert De Niro, and the Limited Edition Doug Kenney.
Morbid Details not included.
Head on to Betty Friedan
The Betty Friedan action figure comes with her trademark scowl. Pull the string on her back, and she says one thing: “I’m not an action figure, dammit. Stop objectifying me!”
John Travolta.
John Travolta–comes with Hair Grease, Dianetic$ not included.
Otzi the Iceman.
Once open, store in your refrigerator.
Bill Gates.
Check out this fabulouz Otzi the Iceman action figure! This prehistoric gay handsome mountaneer comes with frozen semensample and a collection chic prehistoric partywear.
Archimedes
I thought it was well established that the “Otzi was gay” thing was a hoax?
It was, but a plain iceman does not sell as much!
K
Comes with lever – find your own damn fulcrum.
Gregor Mendel.
Comes with pea garden. Additional monks and monastery sold separatedly.
And let me retrieve… Bill Gates.
Bill Gates was already done, wasn’t he? I remember answering that one.
He can afford to be answered again.
Microsoft has purchased our Historical Action Figures, and they will be included in the new version of Windows.
Atilla the Hun.
The Attila the Hun action figure comes with a horde of Hun cavalry action figures who will carry out rapine, pillage and slaughter with great gusto. Cowering Western Europe playset sold separately.
The Duke of Wellington.
The Duke of Wellington comes complete with horse and rapier. Pull his string and hear him say, “where’s my beef?”
Imelda Marcos
Imelda Marcos is larger than most dolls; collectible miniature shoes fit her just fine. Over 5000 shoe models available!
Sorry about Gatesy, I thought he was available.
Emperor Hirohito.