Now with loin cloth!
Alfred the Great
Free cake mix, box of matches and top of the range oven.
Kingdom of Wessex extra.
Howard Hughes.
Comes with his own Autoclave.
Adlai E Stevenson III
Howard Hughes was already done; post #104.
Adlai Stevenson comes with a hole in his shoe, a gleaming pate and a hangdog expression. Recommended that you play with the Dwight D. Eisenhower action figure (Presidential Series) at the same time.
Queen Isabella.
Queen Isabella comes with a treasure chest to finance Christopher Columbus expedition to the East, and a sword to run the Muslims out of Spain.
My Little Inquisition Set ™ sold separately.
Kaiser Wilhelm.
Kaiser Wlihlem I comes with spikey helmet, dress uniform, hatred of France and railway tables. Prussian troops sold separately.
(Kaiser Bill II was also done)
Marco Polo
Comes with a full arm for state occasions and a shrivelled one for when he’s at home with no artists or photographers around, a cigarette that can be shot out of his mouth by the Annie Oakley figure and his own abdication escape hatch.
GERALDO RIVERA
Comes with a microphone, oversized mustache and matching wig, a chair and a map of Jimmy Hoffa’s tomb. His nose really breaks!
Rosa Parks
Comes with a seat on the bus and there’s no way you’re getting it from her.
Jim Henson
Whaddya mean? Jim Henson was an action figure (or at least a living Muppet)!
Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry.
Comes with empty can of insect repellant.
Hovsep Pushman
OK, I’ll bite. I don’t get it.
Perry died in the tropics from a disease (I forget which) contracted by insects. You see, he, um, used all his insect repellant, and, um, then he got bit, you see, because he no longer could repel the insects, and, um…
HOVSEP PUSHMAN!
Admitting that I had to google him, all I can guess is that he comes with every shade of brown pencil, brown paint and brown crayon imaginable.
Countess Elizabeth Bathory
Countess Elizabeth Bathory
This one’s a bubble-bath kit. The Countess is a wind-up talking doll with dialogue like “I vant to live forever!” and “Bring me the virgin!” and comes with a virginal maiden plastic squeeze-bottle doll and a 16-oz. bottle of blood-red bubble bath soap. You fill the victim doll with the bubble bath and squeeze, and the bubble bath squirts out of tiny slits at their carotid arteries… Recommended for children 13 years and up!
Next up:
Otto Weininger
The Otto Weininger action figure comes with an elegant suit, stiff collar, a Bible, a smoking pistol and a sign reading, “I’m not a Nazi, dammit.”
Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry.
I had to look up this dude in Wikipedia.
He’s a distant antecedent of the crooner Perry Como who, in turn, is the father of American football player William “The Refrigerator” Perry. These items are only sold as a trio but they are available as (a) heroes of the 1812 war (b) vocalist, guitarist, and drummer and © an offensive backfield.
Willie Shoemaker.
Buy each of the 8,833 trophies and ribbons separately.
Al Jolson.
From the “1920s Hollywood Action Set.” Pull his string and the other figures panic.
Feargus O’Connor
Feargus O’Connor comes with his own straitjacket and a miniature copy of The Northern Star. Charter sold separately.
Elvis Presley