1/2 a bagpiper would be enough to have me touching fabric.
and now Cows
egg
One bagpiper, if he was called Fat Bastard.
OK, enough of the cute stuff. Let’s break out the freaks. Let’s break out the…
cockroaches. New York City German cockroaches. The kind that drink Raid for cheap thrills and leave Terminex men weeping and bloody in dark alleys. The kind that can stake credible claim to a subway seat.
Hmmm. To be scary, probably at least 35 cockroaches. Any less, and I can take 'em easy.
Next: rabbis
4 rabbis. It’s a small apartment with limited cooking utensils and staple ingredients to work from, and cooking for rabbis could be scary business. (What, you want they should have to cook for themselves?)
OK, folks…fire ants
Any more than about 3 cows in a room would make me nervous. Cows are big and easily spooked.
How about unsupervised* 3-year-olds? (human)
*by someone other than you
Good gods, man, you’d be drowning in drool! 
Preschoolers: I’m used to 30 at a a time, but I have a larger room and a foam bat. If they stuck together and could do it in under a minute (attention span), I imagine it would take a couple of dozen for a sucessful mutiny.
How about Giant Pandas?
Giant Pandas
7 would do it. They don’t like to be together. I’m sure I’d get caught up in their mess.
Next:
Donuts
Oops. Not living. Sorry.
How About:
Constipated elephants
Constipated Elephants: I think one would be enough somehow…
Next: Teenagers?
Teenagers? Two. One teenager is just an insecure, scared child. Two teens can be your worst nightmare.
Next: hummingbirds
I’d say no more than 16 hummingbirds. I could probably handle more if I had a spatula or large wooden spoon to fend them off with.
Alright, let’s break out the big guns: Vampires
I’d say no more than 16 hummingbirds. I could probably handle more if I had a spatula or large wooden spoon to fend them off with.
Alright, let’s break out the big guns: Vampires
Vampires? Well, if they were newly dead, just raised and hungry, one would frighten the heck out of me. If they were experience, well-fed vampires, I could probably be comfortable for a little while. Maybe 12 would start to creep me out.
Umm… butterflies
butterflies?
Lots…600-700. I don’t find them at all scary.
Next:
Nuns
1/2 of a nun would be pretty darn freaky!!
next: three-toed sloths
Seven sloths would definitely be scary.
next, and this is a tough one I think: ants
I believe that 6 three-toed sloths would creep me out.
Next: Canadian geese
As a cross-poster victim, I’ll pick ants. (Canadian geese, jeez, I’d be scared to be without them…)
We already did fire ants, so I’ll assume that these are the ones that aren’t on fire.
One ant, nibbling the inside of my ear. If we’re not talking about those radical militant religious ants, then, about a telephone box full.
Next: ex-significant others
I think three ex-significant others would be enough to give me the wiggins. That’s enough for them to gain up on you and compare notes…
Next: Piano repairmen