Here’s what I hate even worse than dancing: People who, from the dance floor, try to get you to dance. They motion for you to get up, they walk over to you, they grab your hand and try to pull you into the throng. They’re relentless, and they should all be removed from the building.
mmm
I’ve noticed that there seem to be 2 kinds of people: Those who sing along with songs, and those who don’t.
I know, sounds simple tautology, but what I mean is, when I listen to music, I want to verbalize. If there are lyrics, I want to sing them - even if they’re by a girl, I’m trying to emulate them. And if there are no lyrics, I’ll verbalize the musical instruments. I sing guitar solos.
A buddy of mine listens to music for the sound, doesn’t care about the lyrics. We have a fundamentally different take about enjoying music.
I think dancing is the same thing - 2 kinds, those that must dance, and those that don’t enjoy it. The dancers feel the music in their bodies and want to express the feelings with motion. Dancing is enhancing the experience. For the non-dancers, if they do dance it is out of a sense of obligation or a coordinated activity or such, something to do not something they desire.
And sure, there are plenty of people that avoid dancing because they think they are bad at it, but there are plenty of people who don’t dance because they don’t enjoy it, nevermind whether anyone else cares what they look like.
Me, I dance. I have been self-conscious about how I dance without being able to fight the urge to dance, to move, to “gyrate” and “flail”. But then I can’t sit still, anyway. I’m twitching as I type this.
And FTR, I’ve been complimented on my dancing, so it’s not like I’m a complete spaz.
And I sympathize with those who get frustrated with the people who demand you dance with them. “Hey, go have your fun, I’ll have mine!”
I know what you mean. I’m a non-dancer, but when I listen to music, I’m paying close attention to the lyrics.
Because they frickin’ rock!!!
And there’s free food.
As a person who abhors the thought of dancing but does not begrudge the inclination in others to engage in the activity I was delighted to find this eloquent expression of that feeling by Stephen Fry (Episode 2, Bored Of The Dance - Official site of Stephen Fry).
I would recommend that anyone who is having a hard time understanding non-dancers listen to that. In fact even if you are a non-dancer, or even if you just like Stephen Fry, I would recommend a listen as it is simply a great essay.
So I was at the bar tonight (not a dancing kind of bar, just a regular downtown, yuppie after work bar) and some song whose name I don’t know by a band I can’t recall came on, and I found myself tapping my foot, and swaying on the barstool ever so slightly to the rhythm. I didn’t even realize I was tapping until I stopped. I don’t understand these people who say they can’t pay attention to the song while they’re moving. I was listening just fine; I just to happened to have been moving with the music.
There’s a difference between swaying to music/tapping feet in beat, and concetrating on a set of footwork/moves with arms/etc. One is relaxed, unconscious, requires no concentration. The other requires mental focus on your body and actions, which splits concentration away from the music itself.
Learning to dance certainly takes you out of the music to focus on your body. The more formal or directed the movement, the more it takes focus to learn until it becomes automatic.
Consider driving: if you are experienced at driving, you can drive and listen to music without any issues, driving is automatic enough you don’t have to consciously think about each action. But the moment anything happens that demands more attention, it is easy to shift mental gears and focus on what is important - say the car in front of you that might or might not be turning. I know I’ve many times been listening to the radio and thought, “Oh that’s this song, let me pay close attention.” And the next thing I know I think, crap I was trying to listen to that song, but the traffic caught my attention.
Dancing is somewhat similar. If you are well practiced or dancing fairly free form, then the actions flow without much direction and accompany the music. If you have to think about the body motions, it takes focus from the music itself.
Another who doesn’t like dancing. I won’t illuminate further as others have said it so much better than I could. I love music but but never get a dancing urge.
I will go further though…I detest music videos that are just…dancing. Tedious beyond belief.
Beyonce, Michael Jackson et al, hate them. I might enjoy the music but the contrived nature of the dancing in the videos are a real put off.
Even ballet, Give me the score to Swan Lake, you can keep the bints in the frocks and feathers.
I love to dance, not necessarily in social situations either, I just love to put on music and dance, dance, dance. For me, it’s healing and a source of great joy.
My son doesn’t like to dance, and luckily for him, his wife hates it too.
As I’m feeling sort of blah today, this thread reminds me that I could log off, throw on some music… and dance. Bye for now.
That’s so weird. ;)
Irishman, dancing doesn’t require concentration or effort on my part. It’s just movement. The only time it does is if I’m doing a choreographed routine, in which case I still don’t lose focus of the music. I’m paying attention to both my movements and the song. When I move depends on the music.
MeanOldLady, does your dancing involve complicated moves like footwork sequences? Does it look like something by performers in a music video? Or is it more freeform waving and moving?
Because I’m pretty sure I said
And it’s not losing complete track of the music, certainly the moves are timed to the beats and flow of the music. But the more thought and effort you have to put into and now my feet go over here, then over there, then my arms shoot out this way, and suddenly I spin left and…, the less concentration you have for here’s the rhythym guitar, there’s the bass - drum solo!
If your dancing is natural comfortable movements you easily perform without thought that you do to the feel of the music, then you are correct, dancing does not detract from concentration on the music. Start trying to get fancy, do complicated moves or things you are just learning, and it takes more thought on your motion, which means less on the music itself. At least, that’s my personal experience.
If I’m at a party, no, it does not involve complicated moves. It’s just me moving around in (what I hope is) a rhythmic fashion. Yes, I’ve been in numerous choreographed performances that did look like something you’d see on a video or on a stage (it was on stage) which required more concentration than dancing around in my living room, but I still never lost focus of the music.
Because I’m pretty sure I said
After doing the same routine enough times, though, I really don’t have to pay much attention to my movements anymore. It’s sort of like walking and chewing gum at the same time. Even when learning something new, which requires the most concentration, I’m still paying attention to both my body and the sound. Seriously, for some people dancing isn’t a complicated act and doesn’t require intense focus that disables them from focusing on the music they’re listening to.
I have no reason to doubt this assertion, but it is so foreign to my own experience that my first reaction would have been to accuse you of making this up for unknown reasons. I honestly believed until this thread that no man actually enjoyed dancing. I always assumed that there were only those of us who admitted we hate it, and the others who pretend to enjoy it to score with women.
Ignorance fought. (although I still don’t get it)
That’s how I always felt about women who enjoy watching sports.
Absolutely. Soccer, frisbee, swimming, biking, archery, tennis. The difference is that these feel good because of the associated fun factor of the activity. Otherwise, it seems to me like you are claiming that one should feel spontaneous exhilaration in climbing up and down ladders just because they’re there (woo! c’mon! isn’t this fun!?), have fun with restless leg syndrome sitting on the couch, weeding the garden, kicking the backs of theater chairs, carry cinderblocks from one end of the yard to the other and repeat again, and generally acting like an 8-year old on a sugar high.
Dancing falls into all of those latter categories for me. It is watching paint dry, while sweating, set to music.
No. It seemed more like he was saying dancing is a movement that is fun, and while moving your body can be exhilarating, it is not to say every single motion is going to be fantastic. Seemed like all he was asking is if the folks who don’t like dancing don’t like moving in general, or if dancing in particular was something they don’t find enjoyable. It’s not an unreasonable thing to ask. Often when I come across people who don’t dance/bike/run/whatever, they’re not fans of physical activities in general.
Hmm, although if there were a tall ladder against a very high wall, I would feel compelled to climb it. I don’t walk by ladders and go “Holy shit, I have to climb this,” but for some reason when I imagine climbing a ladder that is very high, I like it. It just seems, I dunno, fun. 
Whereas for those of us who like to dance, dancing feels good because of the associated fun factor of the activity. Its social (at least on the Latin scene that I’ve been drawn into over here), elegant, friendly, and there’s a lot to be said, IMO, for being able to move your body in a sensuous, elegant fashion to a beat. Yes, there’s a learning curve to it, but when I dance socially, I have fun, and feel confident, elegant and sexy to boot.
And FTR, I know tonnes of men who love to dance, don’t feel stupid doing so, aren’t doing it to just get laid, and genuinely have a good time with it.
" Leo Sayer’s Long Tall Glasses
Before you can eat you gotta dance like Fred Astaire…
I did a two-step, quick-step and a bossanova
A little victor sylvester and a rudy valentino
You should have seen me moving
Right across the floor
Hand me down my tuxedo
Next week I’m coming back for more
I can dance
Oh yes, I can dance
Look at me dance on the floor movin’
I feel good
I can dance
I can dance
I can dance
I can dance
I can dance
I can dance
I never used to be able to dance, blame it on disco. But get me to a live rockin blues show near the stage ( I politely elbow my way up front) and I will dance like no one is watching (head bopping whirling dervish) I also dance to the radio
I go to dances sometimes and the wallflowers all stand around the room watching people dancing. If they could just ‘let go’ and be ‘in the moment’ they would have so much fun.
I don’t care what other people think and to enjoy dancing you can’t worry about what others are thinking. For a while I thought I needed a drink to dance but I actually dance better sober. No more running into tables and stepping on peoples feet.
I can go into my zone when dancing and it feels like love and light. I think God gave us dancing as a good thing. A form of expression or an art it brings happiness. It is a bit sexy too.