The Iron rules of life.

*The more expensive the tie, the quicker it’ll attract stains and the more irremovable they’ll be. It also works with expensive shirts. Cheap ass ties will be ok even if you are in a food fight.

*Your undies and trouser crotch area will become uncomfortable and itchy only when you are with company.

*Coffee/tea spills on your desk will only hit the most important papers. Also see the first on the list.

*Your office network will develop problems exactly when you need to use the printer…

  • Car will need expensive repairs only when your credit cards are near maxed out.

  • The day of the important meeting is always the day you manage to butcher yourself shaving.

Pimples and cold sores appear on the cusp of the hottest of dates with the girl of your dreams.

The chances of the spare tire being non-functional are directly proportional to the distance from the nearest garage.

Have company? Plumbing problems!!

Your car will need major mechanical repairs exactly ONE WEEK after you had to replace your hot-water system.

A week after that, your central heating will crap out.

Trust me…:smiley:

Pick something that’s been in your home/garage for years without being used, throw it away and you’ll desperately need it within a week.

*anything packed into the bottom of a trunk, having not be needed in ages, will immediately be required!

*”What the hell, I couldn’t feel any worse!”, will always be followed by a trip to the ER.

*You can, in fact, be MORE lost!

*you can peel wallpaper from an entire room, but the last sheet you remove will be covering major damage to the wall, requiring extensive repair!

Diamond rule of life: Always pay off your credit card in full on time. :wink:

Always do.

Expensive sunglasses will quickly go missing. Cheap sunglasses stay around forever. :cool:

When unbolting or unscrewing one part from another, no matter in which order you do it, the last nut or screw is the one that is over tightened or rusted.

The can of PVC glue you bought for that one repair has dried out. You will need to buy a whole new can for the one repair needed today.

God bless whoever invented those little individual packs of Super Glue–I know what you mean.

After you have used the first of the five little tubes of Super Glue in the pack that you bought for one repair, you will not be able to locate the pack when next you need it and will have to buy another pack of 5.

After completing this repair you will put the pack away and, in doing so, will find the original pack.

  1. Too little iron causes “tired blood”
  2. Too much iron causes black poop
  3. There is no subject/statement that some SDMB poster will not take literally and answer accordingly

A car alarm will wake up everybody in the county. Except the owner of the car. People can always sleep through their own car’s alarm.

When there are two or more people in the office, everything is calm and quiet. The minute I’m alone, three things go wrong all at once.

It’s always the other one.

Good, Quick, and Cheap - you only get to pick two.

When approaching an oncoming car, truck, bicyclist, dog walker, etc. - it will always be at a narrow spot on the road/path/trail.

Before a particularly cold winter, one of your pair of gloves will go missing, yes it’s the same hand that went missing from the last pair

nm double post

The surest way to find almost anything you’ve lost or misplaced is to buy a replacement.