Do you have a "law" (like Murphy's Law)?

Years and years ago I came across a book titled, “The Official Rules”, which compiled all sorts of “laws” similar to Murphy’s Law (“If anything can go wrong, it will.”). Since then, I’ve always had an interest in these “laws”, and I’ve finally come up with one of my own.

Now, I was going to call it “Osborne’s Law” (Osborne being my last name), but then I remembered that “The Official Rules” already included an Osborne’s Law: “The tire is only flat on the bottom.” (Though, really, more of an observation than a law.)

So instead, I’ll call it “Mister Rik’s Law”:

“Exception becomes Expectation.”

Some common examples of Mister Rik’s Law in action:

You’re at your job, and you find that you’ve finished your own work for the day. Looking around, you notice that one of your coworkers is a bit behind, so you kindly step in and do some of their work for them. Next thing you know, that task you did for them has become “your job”, and you get yelled at if you don’t do it.

Your store closes at a certain time, but one day a customer arrives a few minutes after closing time. Taking pity, you let them in so that they can make their purchase. Thereafter, that customer will never arrive before closing time again.

You cook in a restaurant, and you kindly agree to prepare a dish that is not on the menu, because it’s slow right now and you have time to do it. Thereafter, the customer you prepared the dish for will show up every day, during the busiest part of the day, expecting you to cook that not-on-the-menu item for them. And they will become irate if you tell them you can’t do that right now.
So, what’s your law?

No good deed goes unpunished.

Well, I’m thinking more along the lines of something you’ve come up with yourself.

When mowing a lawn, the last unmowed swath will always require that you end up at the farthest end of the lawn.

When cycling with others, as soon as you move two abreast a car will come up from behind (requiring, if you’re a safe and considerate cyclist, that you drop back single-file to let them go by).

My two laws of dieting…

  1. Other people’s desserts contain zero calories
  2. There is no such thing as too much food, only too little exercise

Nemo’s Law of Decline: No matter how old you feel now, in ten years you’ll be looking back on your current age and wishing you could be that young again.

I formulated McCroskey’s Law after observing my barracks mate’s sleeping habits.

Given a four year enlistment in the USAF, if you sleep 12 hours a day, you only have to serve two years.

One of mine I’ve been tinkering with for a while, pertaining largely to this messageboard (and something my signature is designed to counteract):

No matter how reasonable, popular, or sensible your view/statement, lots of people will invariably be along shortly to vehemently disagree with you, making you out to be the one with the outlier or unpopular viewpoint.

This one is true. During my 15 years without a driver’s license, walking and bicycling everywhere, I maintained my weight between 165 and 175 pounds. After I got my driver’s license back and started driving again, my weight shot up to 215 within 6 months.

Personally, I’ve noticed the Message Board Whoosh Constant: No matter how laden with sarcasm and irony your post may be, at least one person in the thread will take it at face value.

I got pregnant 3 times, in 2 years, using 4 different methods of birth control. I used a couple of the methods at the same time.

My law is that if Bill is in the same zip code as I am, I WILL get pregnant, unless I have my tubes tied.

I first read that as B.I.L:eek::smack:

Robot Arm’s First Law of Superhero Movies: Cast the lead role with someone who can convincingly play the secret identity. Anybody (well, almost) can put on the suit.

Robot Arm’s Law of the Emasculated Sci-Fi Badass: Any cool villain in a science-fiction movie will become a boring hero in the sequel.

If I am even remotely involved, there will be computer problems.

VBob’s Law #1: Docking the tail of a Boxer makes the tongue grow longer.

#2: Any female guest of The Maury Povich Show that claims certainty of paternity or lack thereof exceeding 99% is ALWAYS wrong.

#3: Whenever starting a road trip in excess of 150 miles, allow 1/2 hour of slip to the scheduled on the road time for my wife’s sudden 3 stops along the way.

#4: Software will always be blamed first in an aircraft related incident, even when it’s an obvious structural failure.

Shodan’s Law: If they didn’t read it the first time, they won’t read it the second time either.

Regards,
Shodan

Ludovic’s law: The more an artists talks about keepin it real, and not selling out, the more their art is designed primarily for mass appeal.

My “Law of Warehouse Stocking”

Anything going fast enough will fit anywhere

Truman’s First Law of Parenting:
If you don’t structure the child’s time for them, they will structure your time for you.

The Law of Jughandles: Whatever you need, wherever you’re going, it’s always on the other side of the highway.