What 'laws' have you come up with?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Sort of like Godwin’s law or along those lines. Doesn’t have to be anything others acknowledge or follow, but any 'dopers have any thing like that that they secretly believe or follow?

Here’s mine:

XT’s law of pizza in the work place-ask any group of cow-orkers what sorts of pizza they will want and they will desire all sorts of strange pizzas with all sorts of (mainly vegetable based) gloop. However, when the pizzas are actually set out and devoured, inevitably they will eat the one pizza that I want (and the corollary…they only order ONE of these because ‘no one likes that’) to eat, while at the end the several pizzas ordered with the gloop will still mainly be there at the end (there is another corollary about how at least half of the gloop pizzas will be left for every non-XT standard/XT edible pizza ordered). :stuck_out_tongue:

2

Shodan’s Law: If they didn’t read it the first time, they won’t read it the second time either.

Regards,
Shodan

3

99% of the time, when people are confronted about something, their response will either be denial (“No, I don’t support X”) or defense (“Yes, I support X, but it’s a good thing.”)

4

**Chekhov’s Lesbian. (Scroll down to “Word of the Week.”)
**

5

The more artists, specifically in their works, insist that they are genuine, the more likely they are profit-driven pop machines.

6

There will always be someone or something blocking the exact place in a store where the item you need is located.

7

The quality of a pizza place is inversely proportional to the number of restaurants in the chain.

If there’s any possible way to misinterpret instructions, someone will find it.

8

The harder you try to prevent something bad from happening, the faster and more likely that it will happen, anyway.

9

Shredded cabbage tastes better than unshredded cabbage (Cole’s Law)

10

Barbarian’s Law: You are not writing effectively unless you piss off as many people as you please.

11

That deserves Up Laws.

12

Never trust adult men that don’t drink beer.

13

Likewise, when you pull over to the side of an aisle at the store to check your list or answer your phone, someone will want something right where you are stopped.

Also, there will always be an oncoming vehicle as you approach a narrow spot in the road. This also works on bicycle trails.

14

Along that line, XT’s 4th law of IT…never trust a skinny IT tech (this is similar to the law to never trust a skinny chef). There are several collieries concerning fitness and IT techs or IT techs who only eat healthy food as well. :stuck_out_tongue:

15

If you try to use a simple solution to “level the playing field”, the people who already have advantages will be able to more successfully make use of whatever you make available, increasing the gap.

There are ways around this, but you have to be really, really careful when you put programs in place.

16

The other lane always moves faster. Unless you enter it.

17

Colibri’s First Law of Travel:
Never pass up a chance to piss. If you do, you will regret it.

18

Gym Buddy Law: the guy who has the locker next to you will show up as you try to get dressed for exercise, crowding the immediate area.

The Loneliness Corollary: If you go into an empty locker room and pick a locker, when you return to that empty locker room, the locker next to you will have been taken, and will most likely lead to the Gym Buddy law.

The Parking Lot Corollary: If you park in an empty lot, and make a quick stop in a store, when you leave you will find some moron has parked right next to you even though the lot is empty.

19

My Father invented one:

The Law of Malevolence of the Inanimate — Things are out to get you.

20

Anything you’ve not used in ages, then packed into a trunk or attic will be required for use within a week!