Inspired by Why would anyone counterfeit a new bill?
Whenever there’s a thread asking if a photo is real or fake, somebody will ALWAYS say “that’s the worst photoshopping I’ve ever seen” (or something very similar), even when the photo is 100 percent genuine and unaltered.
– Revtim’s Law
When the weight of famous females is mentioned, someone will bring up Marilyn Monroe’s dress size (and a debate will ensue about how big she ‘really’ was).
-Cat Fight’s Law
The number of times that an order has to be repeated in a fast-food restaurant is inversely proportional to its accuracy.
chaoticbear’s law
Whenever there is a “system”, someone will try to game it.
Beowulff’s Law
The farther you drive looking for a gas station with a good price, the more likely it will be that the very first place you passed was the cheapest.
– Diceman’s Law
Every SD thread will have at least one post by a smart-arse who thinks he’s clever, but which everyone else just rolls their eyes at.
Askance’s Law
Oh, and to prove it:
Chopped cabbage with mayonnaise
Cole’s Law
If there are four or more people sharing a meal in a restaurant, there will always be at least three ways of splitting the check.
–Tapioca’s Law
The clarity of the noise from a car engine is proportional to the inverse of the square of the amount it will cost to fix.
–What They Say
You overworked it.
If there are two or more people sharing a meal in a restaurant, there will be at least four ways of splitting the check.
–Tapioca-Nava’s Law
(One pays everything; split down the middle; split according to income [Ogette is my witness, my mother has been known to do this]; each pays his own)
The amount of noise produced by a motorbike is inversely proportional to its cc’s and the brain-cc’s of the monkeybrick driving it
–GG’s Law, GG being my BASIC teacher.
Any time you forget to check your take out bag before getting home, your order will be screwed up.
- MovingTarget’s law
Ludovic’s corollary: The amount of noice produced by a motorbike is inversely proportional to the need to hear it for “safety”. (i.e. at a stoplight you can hear them just fine, especially when they accelerate out of the red light, but you don’t need to hear them cause most everyone has situational awareness at a red light. But on the highway, when the loud engine advocates say they need their loud rumbly ear splitting engines to prevent collisions, they are almost inaudible over the highway noise.)
Corollary: When you do check the bag, the order is perfect, but you will burn your hand on some stray sauce.
Easy:
Whenever someone ever mentions Hitler, Nazis, Germany, or anything even vaguely pertaining to the subject, even if it’s a perfectly good example of what they’re talking about, someone will scream “Godwinizing! Godwinizing! WAAAHHH!!” as if no reference to Hitler and Nazism can ever be relevant to any social debate, and might as well be forgotten forever and never mentioned again.
Clothahump’s Law: the farther in advance a movie is promoted, the worse it will suck when released.
Ding ding ding We have a winner! 
Yep! you forgot the carrot and onion… which leads to mine:-
Everyone has their own version of a simple recipe, and no two versions in a group coincide.
The length of time you spend sitting and thinking before posting to a thread is inversely proportional to the quality of said post.
-Really Not All That Bright’s Law
Damn, missed the edit window.
Really Not All That Bright’s collary to Really Not All That Bright’s Law:
The longer it takes you to think of something funny to say, the less likely it is that what you thought of is actually funny.
The more you swerve in attempting to avoid a pothole, the more likely you are to hit it squarely.
-Borborygmi’s Law