Any time a woman posts about her looks, the first male response will be ‘cite?’ or ‘how you doing?’
-XX Law
Whenever a thread is made complaining about behaviour on a message board, 3 of the first 5 posts will intentionally demonstrate that behaviour.
Taber’s Law
If you don’t finish what you started,
–KidScruffy’s Law
The importance of a meeting is inversely proportional to the square root of the number of people invited.
Robots ARE evil and they WILL harm you.
The Asimov was Wrong Law
I’ve already declared Nemo’s Law: As any online discussion grows longer, the probability of a Monty Python reference approaches one.
The more times you practice rolling the die, the more likely you will get the exact opposite result.
-Wargamer’s Postulate
(I’m getting tired of all these Laws.)
The better you perform at work, the less you will be appreciated.
DFTH’s law
In any thread about accents on TV, at some point somebody will mention that John Mahoney comes from Manchester and Jane Leeves doesn’t.
This is not going to turn out well.
– Boyo Jim’s 2nd law
When one person of a couple snores, they invariably fall asleep first.
-Swampwolf’s Law
I didn’t expect Nemo’s Law!
In any online debate, the chances that anyone will actually change their opinion are nil to begin with, and get worse over time.
Any reference to George W. Bush must immediately be rejoined by a reference to Bill Clinton.
Even a comment on how attractive Jenna Bush looked at her wedding must be immediately rejoined by a comment on how attractive Chelsea Clinton looks these days.
shudder
If you don’t follow company policy, you’ll get in trouble. If you follow company policy to the letter, you’ll get complaints.
I doubt that very much, and I bet you can’t find enough examples to convince me.
Corollary: All systems can be gamed.
The IQ of a teenaged male is inversely proportional to the number of teenaged males in the immediate vicinity.
Rysto’s Law
Doug’s Tripartite Law of Topical Devolution
-For every topic A, there is a parallel topic or subtopic B, that is simpler to understand, relevant to more people, or tends to generate more controversy or intellectual one-upmanship.
-The longer an internet-based discussion about topic A runs, the more likely it will drift (or “devolve”) into a discussion of topic B.
-The more right-brain oriented, abstract, or “touchy-feely” topic A is, the more likely it will drift to a left-brain oriented, empirical, or logically-systematic topic B.
Doug’s Law of Political Capitals
The percentage of gratuitiously capitalized words in any text posted to the internet is directly proportional to the degree of political conservatism of the writer.
If you post something good about abortion or something bad about adoption, anti-abortion people will rip you a new one.