You know, Murphy’s Law? “If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong…and at the worst possible time.” …or words to that effect. But, everyone has their own personal variations. What’s yours?
How about…
The phone call you’ve waited all day for will come when you’re in the bathroom.
After you think you’ve finished the dishes, there’s always one you missed.
My ass doesn’t need glasses…hind sight is 20/20!
I’m sure I’ve uttered a milliion more for various situations, but I’m drawing a blank…hey, that’s one!
You’ll always think of the perfect thing to say for any situation after the fact!
Anyway, I thought the SDopers might just have fun with this post!
Go ahead! As they say, Murphey was an optimistic! (Or optomistrist?)
You will realise that your cell phone is ringing exactly five seconds before the person calling gives up. If you should notice sooner, it’s a wrong number.
One that has proven true in my family time and time again: after buying a set of drinking glasses, all of them but one will break within a very short period of time. The last remaining glass will be completely indestructible.
After a while of this you have single mismatched glasses from twelve different sets.
If you ever feel the need to go off on someone behind their back…don’t. Because, somehow, even if they aren’t supposed to be in the country, they will currently be standing right behind you.
Murphy’s Law of New Jersey Roadways: Whatever you need, wherever you’re going, it’s always on the other side of the highway.
The other line always moves faster.
The number of people looking at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions. (Or maybe inversely … no, I think directly.) Aw, hell. Rephrase: The dumber you look, the more people saw you.
No matter how long you wait to do so, as soon as you replace the watch you lost, you’ll find the old one.
I’ve done this four or five times in the last ten years. I don’t lose watches often, but when I do, it’s a given that I only find them after I’ve gotten a new one. T’was borne out again this year. I lost my utilitarian watch in JULY. Searched and searched for it, keeping in mind the above rule. Finally gave up and asked for one at Christmas. Did my old watch show up then? No, not yet…the gift I received was a dress watch. I exchanged it the first week of January for a less dressy kind, for everyday wear. You get one guess what I found an hour after coming home from the store. It was in my underwear drawer, which I’d searched, which I have my hands in every single day, and even clean out and straighten up from time to time, but somehow, I never came across it. Noo-ho-ho-ho, it was lurking, waiting till I caved, waiting until I (not someone else) had chosen a new watch before revealing its scratched face to the light of day again, taunting me. Muuahahahaaa…
The kicker? It died in that drawer during the long wait. So now, if I want to wear it, I have to buy it a new battery.
Every management request for data will uncover a new way in which the database has been corrupted.
When presenting results, the one method of aggregation and/or presentation that was not considered will be precisely what management was after all along.
Every wise decision that lower management makes will be overturned by upper management. Bad decisions will become permanent policy.
All traffic lights will turn red as you approach them, UNLESS, you are extremely thirsty and waiting for an opportunity to open and drink the beverage you brought with you, in which case you will sail unimpeded to your destination.
If your schedule has been clear for weeks, the first two appointments/commitments that appear will be on the same day and probably at the same time.
The instant you light a cigarette, the bus will arrive.
If you approach a group of pretty women and are making equal headway flirting with all of them, the one you finally zero in on will be the psycho.
If you break up with Girl A in order to date Girl B, it is certain that Girl B will hear about this, think you’re a jerk, and refuse (or withdraw her consent) to date you.
If you go to a bar every Friday in the hopes of meeting a girl you saw there ONCE, the only time she will show up again is months later, on the exact day that you’ve given up in despair and gotten shitfaced.
That awesome shirt you wanted to wear out tonight will either have an unexplained smudge on it or will have lost a button while at the cleaners, or both.
That sappy sweet nickname that the new girlfriend has been calling you inside her head for months and decides to tell you about will be the exact same nickname as the psycho ex used for you.
You will always have three cents less than exact change.
When you’re at a restaurant, the server will bring your food immediately after you head off to visit the bathroom, so it’ll sit and cool off for a few minutes until you return.
However, if you’ve been waiting for what feels like an inordinately long time for your food, any attempt to leverage the above by deliberately going off to the bathroom will not actually work. You’ll come back to a still-un-fooded place setting.
