Modern Murphy's Laws

If your microwave has a turntable and you heat a mug of water, the handle will always be pointing to the rear when you open the door.

If your internet connection is going to die, it will do so just as you are about to click ‘Submit’ on that wonderfully reasoned, beautifully cite-d 1000-word SDMB post you have spent an hour preparing (and even remembered to preview).

Despite all the other times when it could have happened, your mobile (cell) phone will always ring during that important, and silent, gathering.

Whenever you have something intelligent to say, you will always get 404’ed.

Your tumble-dryer will only ever cark it at the beginning of the longest wet-spell in the last two decades.

The ATM will eat your KeyCard when you are trying to withdraw your last $20…on a Friday evening…with no chance of getting it back until the bank opens again on Monday morning.

Those absolutely brilliantly creative and artistic 23 photos you took will all have been in vain when you open the camera before the roll is finished.

The boss will only catch you reading email forwards. When you actually work, he will be nowhere in sight.

No mater how clear the skies are when you wash your car, 10 minutes later it will rain.

Or, your car remains bird poop free for two weeks, but ten minutes after you wash it… :mad:

You will never remember to buy candles until after a power cut.

You will always sign up for a five year fixed-rate housing loan just before a 5% drop in interest rates.

Origin of “Murphy’s Law”.

I originally posted the link in September, but I thought I’d post it again here since it’s an interesting read.

The handle of your butter churn will always break the day before the reverend comes a callin’.

That’s really funny. I actually worked the exact seconds out on my microwave so that the handle faces me.

In any technology demo to senior management the application will crash.

It doesn’t matter how stable it is, how well tested, or whether you did the exact same thing with it 10 times before. It will still happen.

The longer you go before filling your gas tank, the higher gas prices will creep. The price will rise by a cent or two for each gas station you pass up in hopes of finding one a few cents cheaper per gallon.

If you DO spot a station with prices lower than anyone else’s, it will be when you are running late for an appointment and don’t have time to stop. When you drive past the same station on your way back two hours later, the price will have risen by 12 cents, making it the highest price around.

4 hours after you fill up, the average price will drop by 10 cents. By the time you need to fill up again, it will have risen again by 11 cents.

No mattwer what side of a jam doughnut you bite into, the jam will be on the other side.

Your computer will crash one minute before the end of an ebay auction for an amazing item with no bids and a ridiculous asking price. When you get back on line, it will be too late and someone else will have gotten it for that ridculous first bidding price.

The day after you commit to a serious relationship, you will be hit on by three stunning women/men/Clydesdales/fixation of choice.

Corollary: These same women/men/etc. will have totally ignored you up to this point, no matter what you did.

Your workaholic best friend will have a one-in-a-million ‘get home early day’ the only day you had to work late at your own job :mad:

The only time you get coughing/sneezing/hiccuping fits is when you have to talk in front of a large audience.

"Discussion of hic Ancient Greek geography hic would hic not be complete hic without mentioning the hicaccomplishhicments of Alexander the hic…Great. This Macedonian conquered much of the hic known world at the time…waits for another hiccup…His victories stretched from hic hic Alexandria hic Egypt to hic as far hiceast as parts hic of Indiahic.

Professor: “Do you need a glass of water?”

Me: hic

After kids, you become invisible.

When you run out of the house to go do errands and are dressed like a total hag ( more haggish than usual) you will run into someone you haven’t seen in years.

When you are in a public place with your kids and your normally angelic kids suddenly start acting up, you will run into someone you haven’t seen in a long time that was your arch-nemisis or Perfect Person in school.
You get a great seat at the movie theater, which is practically empty, and someone taller will sit in front of you.

If you race to get to a movie that starts at 7pm, there will be 2 hours of previews.

If you figure you have some wiggle room on the start time of a movie and take some time to get popcorn and hit the john, the movie starts, with no previews, right on time.

Whatever you have been looking for for years you will find and buy on Ebay quite happily. The next time you look at eBay, there will be the exact thing you were looking at in better condition offered at a lower starter price.
Flat surfaces are meant to be covered in papers. It’s just the natural law of things.

Whichever line you choose at the grocery store, bank, movie theater, etc. will take the longest. It doesn’t matter if there were only two people ahead of you and all other lines had ten or more people. You will end up waiting longer than everyone else.
The cup in the microwave one has dirven me nuts for years, then I finally realized I could manually turn the carousel to be able to reach the handle. D’oh! :smack: