Setup: My SO was crossing the (cluttered) room, and ran into something which made him stumble and lurch towards me. It was the fan, currently on the floor nearby, where I had moved it because it’s been pretty dang hot these last several days.
I observed this and said, “Oh, sorry about that.”
He said, “Sorry, I just never expect the fan to be wherever it is.”
–And I said: "Well, no one expects the fannish imposition!"
hee hee hee hee hee
Bosda is off duty so…smacks brujaja with a wet trout
I had a similar situation a few years back at the Dept of Rehabilitation.
The lady was laying out some of the training available at the local junior college and suggested Accounting.
And I came so close to saying I wanted to be a lion-tamer but I really doubt she would have got the reference.
True, I would have gone with Lumberjack…
highfives brujaja
runner pat:
She probably would have suggested you work your way toward lion-taming… say… via banking.
brujaja:
You are my hero for today.
Oh, I thought this was going to more along the lines of hoping Christina Hendricks shows up on my door proclaiming her undying love for me. 
It’s OK Christina, I’ll wait for you!
In that case, I’ll tell the one about going to breakfast. My girlfriend ordered eggs benedict, and I mentioned that it was odd they brought it out on a ceramic plate like all the other breakfasts. I said “They usually serve eggs benedict on a chrome plate, not a ceramic one” She said, “… why would they do that?” I said
Because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollendaise.
She said, “I’m not talking to you any more.” And it was quiet for 20 minutes. Best breakfast ever.
Here’s two. Kinda lame, but they amused me…
A few years back, Mom & I are out shopping. She shocks herself touching the cart. I say “You have to learn how to conduct yourself!”
Last month, I kill a white spider & remark to Mom how much I hate those things. She responds “Why? Do you think they’re ghost spiders… in the sky?”
My friend had just turned 21, so we went off to the store to get some barware for making drinks at home.
While in the housewares, he said, “I wonder where the shakers are”
and I said
Right next to the movers.
He just stared at me for several seconds, shook his head, and kept walking.
Years back a friend and I were looking for an office in an unfamiliar college building. At one point we discovered they had essentially bolted a small unit containing just 3 or 4 offices to the side of the building half way between two other floors.
Him: “This must just be an annex.”
Me: “No, it’s an annex-dote.”
Him: “Why an annex-dote?”
Me: “It’s a short story.”
Are you secretly Mitt Romney?
I was having dinner with my brother, SIL and niece this weekend and I asked my niece if she would like some more mashed potatos. She said “Would I!!” to which I promptly responded, “Peg leg!” My brother and SIL got it but my niece was clueless.
“Is this milk pasteurized?”
“Yes, and it gets past your mouth too!”
Long ago, when I was a teenager, I was out with a fairly new boyfriend, and we were drinking as much alcohol as we were able to, plus maybe a bit more. Out of nowhere, he looked at me blearily and said, “Will you love me forever?”
And I knew it was mean, but I had to reply, “Well lemme sleep on it, baby baby, lemme sleep on it!”
You know what happened to the girl who backed into the fan?
Disaster!
Ouch.
I was at my dentist - a 7am drilling. As the aroma of a drilled tooth filled the air, the dentist paused, so I took the time to say: I love the smell of burnt enamel in the morning - it smells like…cavity*
My dentist just sighed, motioned with his tools, and said “open”
I don’t get any respect.
*please tell me someone gets the reference…
My parents had a car with a manual transmission and the clutch was going out on it. My mom was certain the problems arose from my sisters less than elegant handling of the manual transmission.
I looked at my mom and said,
“Are you saying she beat the shift out of your car?”
I’ll never forget this story:
It must have been the greatest moment of a headline creator’s life.
Me. (raises hand)
At a family dinner back in the late '60s, my brother was wearing, in the style of the day, a scarf instead of a tie. As he leaned forward to eat, my mother admonished him to “make sure you don’t get your Ascot in your dinner.”
We still drag that one out at family get-togethers.
Oh yes. I think I’d submit that headline and then my resignation right after that. There’s no topping a beautiful perfect work of headline genius like that one. Dude shot his or her editorial wad right there.