My hero! I came here specifically to say “a bucket of KFC!”
The eleven herbs and spices will knock him flat!
The Grand Finale will be a Magnum ice cream bar.
~VOW
I’d stick with Chicago favorites: Italian beef (the frozen tubs from the grocery are passable) with giardiniera, hot dogs, pizza (I’m not sure I’d be able to pull off a deep dish, never tried to make one). I may also consider some Mexican foods. And, what the hell, toss a couple cans of Pringles into the cart.
I wonder if he’d appreciate sushi.
All foods from the New World.
That should work.
Plus 6 flavors of Ice Cream.
Quite true, people used to rent them to use as a centerpiece for parties to impress people.
Maybe not “impress” the way y’all mean it, but imagine the look on his face when I slide open a freezer (“That’s right, Your Majesty, ice cold all summer long!”) pull out a T.V. dinner, pop it into a microwave (“We call that sound a ‘beep’ sire.”) and present him with a smallish but tasty and varied meal a mere three minutes later.
I just realized that in our topsy-turvy world, menial peasants (e.g. minimum wage workers) routinely throw away black pepper, as it comes included with many plastic fork/spoon/napkin packages at fast food joints. I bet Ol’ Louie wouldn’t know quite what to make of that.
If I remember my reading correctly, he wouldn’t have expected “courses” as we understand them. It would all have been laid out at the same time.
If wowing him is the intention, I’d show him a microwave and a ready meal from the supermarket. “Yes, sire, even the baser sort can cook and eat like this, and every day for most of them. Your grandfather’s “chicken in every pot” has become a complete dish ready in five minutes.” And/or order in takeaway KFC, pizza, curry, sushi, chow mein…
“Hey Lou! We named a beer after you!”
https://www.sunkingbrewing.com/beer/
Maybe you could serve Chicken a la King. All the best places do.
If that’s too much work, serve Chicken-of-the-Sea. You could play Seinfeld’s comedy routine. “There’s no chickens in the sea. How dumb does this company think we are?”
Still too much work? A Royale with cheese. I have it on good authority that’s what they call it there.
Yes and no.
There were separate ‘services’ that corresponded roughly to our idea of courses. But at each service there were several different dishes presented simultaneously, and the king could select what he wanted from them buffet-style. There would be a service with soups, followed by a service with main courses, then a service with desserts. Possibly a separate fish service as well.
Most 16th and 17th century monarchs used a similar system.
In fact, a similar system was used by everyone at formal dinners until the late 19th or early 20th century (and is still common today, I think). A number of different dishes were placed on the centre of the table for each course. The dishes were passed around, and people helped themselves to what they wanted. At fancier dinners, waiters might take the dishes round to each person in turn. I’m not sure when the system of identical plates of food presented to each diner started to be used.
As well as a song by some guitar group that says wonderful things about your potency!
Identical plates of food is probably far cheaper and the meal takes much less time.
There was a trend in food for awhile to serve many courses of small portion, very high quality food using molecular techniques, steam guns and artistic presentation - “single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat”. In cool, out of the way, pop-up restaurants with attractive waitresses who droned on a bit too long about the chef’s vision.
Living in a town (country) where people won’t usually pay for very high quality food, I had this amazing experience exactly once. Perhaps there are rich foodies on the board lucky to have tried it often. It cost a pretty penny. It took three hours. Best meal of my life, by far. Not even close. But I certainly wouldn’t want it every day.
Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce
served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam.
Whatever I serve him, I’d probably do it outside, because like most people of his time and place he probably stunk to high heaven.
Hot dogs.
FDR served them to George VI, so they’re clearly appropriate.
MREs.
Hey I didn’t vote for him.
20th Century British cooking is a pretty low bar.
You don’t vote for kings.
Despite the fact that I don’t even know him and he was not invited, I would produce my signature meal, Eggplant Parmigiana. There would be an introductory Italian tomato salad with Italian bread, and I would have grilled asparagus to accompany the parmigiana. I would, of course, have a high quality Pinot Noir. Perhaps even a Joseph-Phelps Insignia, 2016 would grace the table.
For desert, I would have a choice of freshly made Cannoli and Tiramisu with a choice of post dinner liquerus such as Drambuie, Amaretto, and Cognac. There would, of course, be freshly ground coffee as well.
What? He became king because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at him?
Bloody peasant!