Has “poly marriage” on it and everything, too…
(I actually don’t care. I doubt there’s anything I could add to the poly marriage conversation I haven’t already said.)
The question is, why did the man choose the women’s room and not the men’s room? The woman chose it because it matched her gender identity. Why did the man choose the women’s room over the men’s room?
You’ve had the answer plenty of times: it’s a borderline-meaningless question. Why do we put adjectives in front of nouns? Why do we serve sweets at the end of the meal instead of the beginning? Why do we drive on the right-hand side of the road instead of the left-hand side? Why do we not wear white after Labor Day? Why do we say “thank you” instead of “Screw you, you stupid shitbird” when someone holds the door open for us?
Culture. That’s all.
Now I answered your question. How about you answer mine, which is, why did that particular cis male choose the women’s room over the men’s
That’s ridiculous. YOu said the reasons don’t matter, so you’re expecting me to go in and kick out the custodian? You’re expecting me to go in and tell the gentleman helping his disabled daughter to get the hell out? The men’s room is broken, the man went into the lady’s room when it was empty and he’s taking a shit, he shouted that he was in there, as soon as my wife opened the door, and you want me to kick him out mid-shit?
Hell no I’m not doing that. You are?
Or maybe the reasons matter after all?
The man chose the women’s room because he felt more comfortable in there.
Well, of course he did. That’s kind of the reason for any choice made by any human being in any point in history. I kind of figured you understood that on an ontological level and would try to delve just a teeny bit deeper, unless you’re deliberately assholing up the question.
I wasn’t aware that people needed more than the fact that they are “more comfortable” in a certain restroom in order to use it. Isn’t that the theme running through this and other threads? Or does that only apply to transgender folks?
If you like, I’ll add on: The gender-typical man picked the women’s room because he has been robbed several times in the men’s room.
No, you didn’t understand the previous threads. The “…because” is key.
Now you’ve given a because. Now that I know that, fuck no I wouldn’t drive him out. What sort of shithole is going to do that? If it was in this men’s room, I’m hustling my wife out of there ASAP. If it was in other men’s rooms, I’d suggest we leave this poor dude the fuck alone.
Women who are uncomfortable with a gender-typical man in the restroom, that’s who is going to drive him out. Or the cops that the woman calls because there is a man in the woman’s restroom.
This does not happen, unless the man is intoxicated, mentally ill, or a predator.
It doesn’t? It’s perfectly acceptable in today’s society for a gender-typical man (who is not intoxicated, mentally ill, or a predator, or “perving” or leering or whatever) to use the women’s restroom, while women are in there, and none of the women will blink an eye or feel uncomfortable?
If so, that’s great! I won’t feel weird going into the one room women’s room at the gas station if the men’s room is occupied.
That happens to 70% of transgender people who try to use the bathroom. Harassment, or abuse, or someone calls security, who may or may not call the cops. They’re perceived as men trying to be in the woman’s room and someone causes a ruckus.
What would be interesting to find out is if it happens to transgender women more than it happens to cisgender men. That is, is it the perception that a man is in the women’s room that’s a problem, or is it the perception that a transgender person is in the women’s room that’s a problem? Is it the gender, or the belief that they’re suspicious because they’re not passing well?
One of the (legitimate, I think) criticisms of the recent memes of beefy hairy transgender men with captions like, “North Carolina thinks I belong in the women’s room,” and slinky cleavage bearing transwomen “…in the men’s room,” is that it’s playing into the trap of endorsing discriminating based on gender presentation, rather than encouraging liberty based on gender identity. I can understand that, while simultaneously believing that most people, even little old southern ladies prone to the vapors, don’t really have a problem with that kind of person using the bathroom of the gender they look like. It’s those “freaks” in heels and 5:00 shadow who need to stick to the bathroom of their birth gender.
So, a sort of pass / fail issue?
Why is every person discussing the comfort of women here a man?
My first reaction on seeing a man in the ladies’ room would be to ask him if he was lost. If he was there to try to get off somehow I’d probably just laugh at him, because that’s truly pathetic. If it was a trans-gender woman then I’d mind my own business.
There’s a bar downtown here that has hand shaped signs on the men’s and ladies’ rooms each labeled as the opposite sex with the finger pointing to the the other door. A good way to tell how drunk your friends are.
Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.
:d&r really fast:
Why are you, one woman, discussing the comfort of all other women?
We don’t need to be women to know that many women would react differently from you. Many would freak out at the sight of a man in the women’s room - especially one who said he wasn’t lost and that she should mind her own business as he does his. It’s nice that you would just laugh if he was “trying to get off,” but many women wouldn’t, nor would any parent of a young daughter. And how would you even know if they are transgender? Would you go up to someone and say “excuse me, are you transgender?”
Over and over I get comments like this that ignore the point. Sure, you may not care who uses a restroom with you, but millions do. If they didn’t, we wouldn’t still have gendered restrooms and we wouldn’t still be teaching our children to use the “right” one.
All I am asking is if their feelings matter or should we try to get rid of gendered restrooms entirely and force millions of people to do something that, right or wrong, they are very uncomfortable doing. That goes for locker rooms too. And that question doesn’t even consider the transgender issue. I repeat - I’m not even considering transgender in this discussion, I’m just trying to get people to admit that bathroom and locker room politics is not so incredibly easy or simple as they pretend it is.
I have yet to get a straight answer.
Who are you, to supposedly speak for those women?
Oh, cut out the nonsense.
You know perfectly well that there are plenty of women out there who don’t want men in the women’s restroom (or locker room). You don’t have to be a woman, or do a poll of women, to know that. Are you going to say I have to prove there are women out there who wouldn’t want a man in the women’s locker room too? This is the inanity I’m talking about here. Face reality and stop trying to dodge it.
The only nonsense here is coming from you. If there are women here who have something to say, they sure as hell don’t need you as a spokesman.
I didn’t say I was a spokesman for women.
You can keep pretending you don’t know something is true, but that doesn’t change it. We make reasonable statements about the opinions of others on this board all the time that don’t require verification, because it’s absurd to demand it. Keep pretending if you want though.
Besides, it’s irrational to think that if people out there oppose transgender persons’ use of restrooms they don’t care about the opposite sex using a restroom.
If you aren’t the spokesman, then stop speaking about it and let’s hear from the women themselves that you claim are out there with this opinion. If it is a fact, they will talk.
I’m talking about the millions of women out in the real world.
Do you actually say, with a straight face, that virtually all women would have no problem with men using the women’s room? The women’s locker room?
Come on, you’re wasting my time.