The Last Jedi predictions - last chance! [spoilers after post 13- edited title]

Cafe Society
1

Episode VIII will be here in about a month and I imagine in about 2-3 weeks, some early screenings will happen.

Keeping all joke predictions out, what do you think will happen? I’ll go first. Should be fun to look back on in 6-7 weeks or so.

  1. Luke will not die.

  2. Luke will light up his light-saber and fight at some point, not just train Rey. The crowd will get its standing ovation moment with Luke, where he does something awesome. Maybe fights off Kylo Ren or something memorable.

  3. Rey’s true identity will be revealed. She is not a Skywalker.

  4. Princess Leia survives(obviously the last we see of her, though). I heard they did not re-edit the movie in this area after Fisher’s death.

  5. General Hux does not survive this one.

  6. Luke is redeemed or his faith is restored. Something like that. He realizes perhaps that Rey is the one to bring balance to the Force in a way that he and his Father never could.

  7. Luke screen time: 45 minutes. Solid, but not overwhelming Rey and Finn. More or less how I remember Han Solo in the Force Awakens.

2

Because Captain Phasma was such a joke in The Force Awakens, they will over correct and make her some kind of super bad ass in this movie.

3

I’ve got a 50/50 bet on whether or not Han Solo will be able to do the “force ghost” thing even though he wasn’t a Jedi. Or some other cameo.

4

I’ve been hashing out predictions with my 8-year-old for the past year. Here’s what I’ve (we’ve) come up with:

Luke has had it with The Force. His father was pushed to the dark side by the Jedi, the dark side turned him into a murderous asshole. Luke spent a good part of his life believing in the light side of the force and living as a Jedi, noble and true. Then, as he threw himself into training the next generation of Jedi, he watched his own nephew turn dark and slaughter all of his students and join forces with Snoke. So Luke’s had it. He’s done. He goes into seclusion where he tries to figure out the origins of The Force in order to end it. The Force, to Luke, is a dark magic that needs to fuck off and die already, and he plans on spending his remaining days studying Force trees, Jedi temples, kyber crystals and whatnot to figure out how to put an end to this nonsense.

Rey finds him. She asks for his help in defeating the First Order and Snoke and Kylo Ren. She’s desperate-- Leia is desperate. Luke reluctantly agrees…but says “no using The Force.” He’ll teach her how to fight, he’ll work with the Resistance, he’ll even try and turn Ben Solo back…but no Force. She argues that they-- she-- needs to use the Force to defeat Kylo Ren. She needs to understand these powers within her, says she needs someone to show her her place in all this. Luke says “No dice on that, sister.”

The fight between the Resistance and First Order escalates. Snoke, Kylo Ren, Hux, Phasma, Leia, Finn, Poe…power, power, fight, fight, boom, boom, badassery.

Then, Luke catches Rey using the Force, maybe practicing something in secret. He confronts her and tells her to cease and desist. She says, we can’t win this fight any other way! I need to do this! I need your help! She says she will learn The Force with or without him. The confrontation grows heated. Like, really heated. Luke pulls out his green lightsaber. Rey, confused yet determined, fires up Anakin’s blue one. They face off. It ends in a stand-off, Rey escapes. Luke is shaken by her raw ability, Rey is shaken by the person she thought of as the ultimate good guy standing against her. Luke goes off to evaluate his next move. And since Luke Fucking Skywalker just tried to kill her, Rey goes off to figure out if maybe, possibly, she is on the wrong side of things; maybe ol’ Kylo was on to something all along.

Other stuff happens, other stuff happens, something else, then Chewie is there with that cute little penguin, Maz adjusts her goggles, people in the audience are equally saddened that Carrie Fisher got so fat AND that she’s dead AND that they’re horrible people for having such strong opinions about how a 60-year-old woman looks, plus wrinkly Snoke.

Then, seeing the strength of the First Order, Luke goes hog-wild with The Force in a battle, using Sith-like methods and maneuvers-- Force Chokes, slaughtering of Storm Troopers, etc. The audience is pumped when they see Luke Unleashed, yet slightly aghast at his utter brutality. Is Luke Dark? Light? Grey? Will Rey become trained? By Kylo?
Who are her parents? Only Episode IX will tell!

At the end, we still won’t know who Rey really is or her lineage, but something will be teased. And of course, this whole prediction is all wrong, and nothing will look anything like this, except for the cute little penguin with Chewie, which we all know happens from the trailer anyway.

5

I put £100 on the post above being a much better film than the one we end up with.

6

200 quatloos on the Lendervedder!* Plus a job writing screen treatments, if I were a Hollywood executive.
*oh Star WARS, not Star TREK.

7

Luke will not die but Leia will.

Luke’s lightsaber fight with Kylo will end in a draw some how. Ren is a bit of a whiny bitch but his strength in the Force has to be reinforced, and not by Force-throwing and choking out regular dudes. He has to go toe-to-toe with the master.

They showed her fighting Finn in one of the trailers, so year, they have to save this character somehow.

The “Last Jedi” doesn’t mean all the Jedi will die out. It means that the name will cease and Force users will adapt a new title. Luke will have to strive to teach that there is more to the Force than Light or Dark, there has to be a balance between the two in every user.

8

  1. Someone will get a hand cut off

  2. There will be a new, even more powerful Deathstar

  3. someone will have a bad feeling about this.

9

No, no, no…

Death Stars only show up in the first and third movies.

10

As much as I felt The Force Awakens was entertaining, it was a rehash of A New Hope. If this is a rehash of Empire, I will be very disappointed.

11

I’m also going to go out on a limb and predict that Harrison Ford makes a cameo-- like, a flashback to Han, Luke and Leia (and maybe young Ben) discussing Ben’s Jedi training. I think seeing the three of them together on screen again would be one of those moments (like Luke firing up his lightsaber, Han & Chewie walking onto the Falcon) that old-timey fans would love. Well, I’d love it anyway, especially after Fisher’s death, it’d be a nice conclusion to that era.

12

I haven’t read the posts in this thread, nor much about the movie elsewhere. My predictions…

Luke has secluded himself because he found the Light Side impotent and knows any further use of the Force is inexorably drawing himself to the Dark Side. Rey is his last chance at redemption, but the stresses of training her push him too far. He takes out his frustrations and regrets about Kylo on her, especially when he realizes he’s pushing Rey down the wrong path. He only finds peace by sacrificing himself to save her. He won’t reveal he is her father until his end.

Kylo will start to hear his dead father’s voice at inopportune times. More manic and violent outbursts. Won’t actually see his father until his redemption in a later episode.

The movie will end with the obliteration of a planet by a Death Star of some sort. Leia will be on that planet. The last shot of her will be poignant; expect tears from the audience. (Or, alternatively, she boards a space ship, which gets destroyed soon thereafter.)

13

Hopscotch.
the Secret of learning to use the Force is Hopscotch.

14

  1. Nope.

  2. Yes, kind of, anyway.

  3. Yep.

  4. Yep.

  5. No, wrong.

  6. Yes and no on this one.

  7. About right, I think.

Nope.

Kind of wrong, a bit right.

  1. No hand.

  2. Nope.

  3. Well, BB-8 says it, but this is the first movie where the line is not spoken by a human and is not in English. Just bleeps.

Nope.

Out there, but mainly wrong.