As I have mentioned before it will be revealed that Darth Vader was in fact not Luke’s father and the whole sharade was just an elaborate hoax to fool the only remaining Jedi. Han Solo will be a two-bit cheating husband for Princess Leia, and she will begin a wild affair with good guy (not her brother) Luke Skywalker. There will also be a lengthy personal appology by George Lucas for Jar-Jar Binks and the Ewoks.
In a flashback, we find out that Obi-Wan was actually Luke’s father, that he and Padme had an affair, and we get to see his REAL lightsaber.
Timothy Zahn has pretty much laid out what would be Episodes 7-?. I, for one, would pay good money to see a trilogy of movies made from the 5 books he wrote (Heir To The Empire, Dark Force Rising, The Last Command, Spectre of the Past, Vision of the Future). So long as Lucas had absolutely nothing to do with either the scripts, the casting, or the directing.
But Episode VII should reveal that Alderaan custom dictates that all weddings be conducted in the nude.
The ending really sucks. Luke wakes up in his parent’s house in suburban Chicago. He is still 12 years old and a loser and he realizes it was another one of those dreams. He gets beaten up again going to school that day when the bullies can’t get him to hand over his “lite thhaber” made out up a flashlight and some translucent pipe.
Amen
Nooooo, I liked the Ewoks 
The Ewok movie was good too!
In Episode VII, I wanna see the Emperor come back and actually kick some ass, instead of just lightning and mind games.
Errr, I’ll watch this with a lot more Padme and a lot less “lightsaber”.
Again, back to the Padme thing…
We don’t have to worry about the Ewoks. Episode VII reveals that barbequed Ewok is the new gourmet rave in the Universe, and the entire species is wiped out in an orgy of gluttony. With coleslaw. On a bun.
I was thinking Grand Theft Auto on speederbikes across Endor would be fun.
That movie rocked, although my memory is probably warped b/c the one and only time I watched it is when I was 7.
Bah, I still say it’s awesome!
It gets lonely sometimes being the only person who liked the Ewoks.
Aside from being midgets in fuzzy suits who kicked more Stormtrooper ass than the Rebels did, what did they do wrong? At least they were real and not some horridly fake-looking CGI manifestation, like they’re bound to become when they make an appearance in Episode VII.
Episode VII reveals that the last several minutes of The Empire Strikes Back, the entirety of **Return of the Jedi **, and the so-called “prequels” were all hallucinations experienced by Han Solo while frozen in carbonite. The movie opens as Han is thawed out to find himself in the clutches of the nefarious Jabba the Hutt, the Godfather-like Irish guy from the Star Wars outtakes instead of a giant Muppet slug. Instead of simply helping Han to escape, the Rebels are able to strike a deal with Jabba, paying off Han’s debt like he was going to back at the end of **Star Wars ** before he got tied up with the Rebellion. This leads into an uneasy alliance between the Rebels and Jabba’s crime syndicate, which is equally threatened by the Empire. Together they must battle the Empire’s latest and worst scheme, which I’m not sure what it is, except that it does not involve clones or droid armies in any capacity. Possibly it’s a device which amplifies the Dark Side of the Force to dominate minds on a galactic scale. Whatever it is, it will have nothing to do with Muppets, “Ewoks,” or a second Death Star.
An added bonus: since the above establishes that the “prequels” were all just an extended dream sequence, this reopens the possibility that someone might eventually make a genuine prequel trilogy that doesn’t suck elephant dong.
Episode VII opens with Leia studying the ways of the Force and in lightsaber practice accidently beheads Luke (try fixing that with cyber-prosthetics), so she runs off with Han to a distant planet in another galaxy where the Force does not negate the laws of physics as we know them. They assimilate into that planet’s civilization and are never heard from again.
Episode VII is a post-modern movie, part realistic, part fantastic, about Lucas’ difficulty in coming up with a plot for the seventh movie. In the most popular scene, after he refuses to hire the nephew of the Emperor for a part, he wakes up with the head of Jar-Jar on his bed.
The greater mutual threat, of course, is the Emporer’s lawyers, the Law Firm of Wolfram and Binks. Even the Force pales in comparison to a million lawyers on retainer.
Alternately, Han Solo is thawed from Carbonite to find that it is several thousand years later, the Rebellion has been completley destroyed, and Palpatine’s evil is law. Also, Palpatine is Japanese, and played by Mako. His only hope is to defeat Mako in a race through the Kessel Run, which will require that he master the art of the Coruscant Drift.
…if only they weren’t fanboy crap.
I had envisioned a sequel in which after the success of the rebellion, Princess Leia, scarred by certain experiences she had as Jabba’s slavegirl (extended hentai-like flashback sequence here) becomes a fanatical crusader against slavery, especially Hutt slaving operations. Mucho scenes of Leia and her army pouncing on slaver headquarters and kicking slaver ass and rescuing slaves.
Oh, yeah, to show her solidarity with slaves everywhere, she wears her metal bikini at all times.
Have you ever read Aaron Allston’s Wraith Squadron books?
Yub Yub, Commander!
The Ewoks rule, and anyone who says otherwise is a half-witted, no good, scruffy-looking nerfherder.
When the galaxy is overrun by swarms of Space Bikers, the now gray haired Luke, Han, Wedge and Lando squeeze into their old leathers, get the Millenium Falcon down off the blocks and prove they can still be cool, impressing their teenage kids.