You could become addicted to internet porn.
I hear that happens to people. Not to me of course, nope, no way noooOOOOOoooooo.
Now, Eve, remember that there is plenty of good money to be saved once you realize that rice cakes and styrofoam cups are interchangeable.
The SDMB isn’t a vice?
Sweeeeet.
None of the vices are available to you at all.
You could just go clinically insane for awhile as a diversionary route to a heart attack. Might be a nice change of pace.
This reminds me of exactly why I don’t go to the doctor for physicals. I feel good, so they have to find something wrong with me. If I go when I’m sick, all I get is the " tut tut, it’s just a cold…suck it up."
But there are so many vices to choose from. I mean, what about the rest of the 7 Deadly Sins? I mean, you’ve got, what, left? Dopey, Doc, Happy…um…nevermind…
Tonight for dinner I am having soy-protein “chicken.” And Tofutti for dessert. I have lost the will to live.
Mention that crap-that-passes-for-food once more and I might lose it too. (The will to live and my lunch.)
You could take up being a pot-head. Pretty benign as far as drug habits go, lots of fun, and it will help make that soy “chicken” more palatable.
Some people seem to get quite addicted to martial arts. I’ve seen tae kwon do sparring and that may be a good way to help you get out your frusterations in a positive, kicking-some-poor-bastard-in-the-gut sort of way.
You could read Calculated Risks by Gerd Gigerenzer and go ask you doctor the sort of questions that will really let you know what sort of odds you are getting.
If all that fails, I suggest learning about film history. I heard that there is some great work done by an E. Golden. Check out one of her books!
eve I don’t want to deprive you of the fun of soy products, but I would be careful. ALOT of them are chock full of bad stuff, fats and salt, especially that salt stuff. You might as well eat the real meat sometimes that immitation stuff is that bad for you.
Go with the real veggies and fruit (a nice mixed fresh fruit bowl with cinnamon and nutmeg and a smidgen of honey, mmmm).
You are not going to live longer, it will only seem like it.
Don’t tell me vices are going out of style, I’m still hoping to get one, one of these days. I sort of have my heart set on Loose Women, but I haven’t found where to sign up for that, yet.
“It’s funny because it’s true,” js_africanus. Right now, my books are the only thing in my entire life that make it halfway worthwhile to get out of bed (that, and feeding the cats—they get testy when left unfed). Thanks for the kind words, too, even if only meant to cheer up my bleak existence.
I second getting a second opinion.
No more medium rare filet mignons with bleu cheese? No more Ben and Jerry’s From Russia with Buzz? No more cheesecake with raspberry sauce? Tsk tsk…forget the diet, find another doctor.
When my doctor asked if she could do a cholesterol check I told her she could on one proviso, she didn’t expect me to change anything. I scraped in under the wire so she didn’t have to realise I was serious. Personally I think a great meal is worth dying for, I have given up more vices than seen collectively in your average football crowd and am already way past my use-by date so I really have nothing to lose but my will to live. Soy based anything can take me to that darkest of all places very quickly.
That said, I suspect Eve’s quality of life and importance in other’s lives is a tad greater than mine so I can only pass on a recent discovery. For my 38th birthday I received an odd looking device called a Playstation 2. I can forget to do anything but BMX trick combos for days at a time. Of course I have lost all feeling in my thumbs and my left shoulder is kind of weird but it is a definite vice I plan on keeping up for a long time, along with fat and salt of course.
Eve If you can’t find the next pretty-boy, I tell you we might die, I tell you we might die!
Seriously, how severe is your Cholesterol intake reduction meant to be? A broiled fillet steak with steamed vegitables, a red wine and mustard sauce, and baked potatoe, can be made with very little cholesterol (that is in the Steak).
What-you can’t even have something once in a while?
That SUCKS Eve.
I think you need to reconsider smoking.
When you think about it, a cigarette holder is a close second to a lorgnette when it comes to elegant and dismissive gestures.
Just a thought.
Have you considered random harassment of other Dopers in their private lives? A good many live near you.
I’m no real help, as the only vice I have is overeating, for which I’ll be punished 20 years from now.
I’d say ixnay on the drugs.
In my happy hydrocodone stupor…I read that as “they get tasty when left unfed.”
I thought you were becoming one of those societal ladies that go out with a whimper (meow?) instead of a bang.
Buy lottery tickets. Gambling is considered a “vice”