The Left Seat Passenger. (Or, "Johnny L.A. nearly gets creamed.")

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I love commuting in L.A. No, I don’t. That’s a complete lie.

I was northbound on the ol’ 405, riding my trusty Seca II in the carpool lane. There were three other cars in front of me, the lead car seemingly content to putter along at 60 miles per. “What an incosiderate peraon!” thought I. The non-carpool lanes were pretty well packed, but still moving. I positioned myself for immediate swoopage just as soon as there was a broken white line to my right, which I knew I was approaching. At this point the other northbound traffic slowed to a crawl.

Well, most of it anyway. Mr. Thickie in his Wrangler passed me in the No. 1 lane. I don’t believe he was actually driving his topless rag-top, but was merely a passenger who happened to have a steering wheel in front of him. A “Left Seat Passenger”, as I call them; or a “Left Seat Zombie”. I suppose he was way to busy concentrating on how cool he looked in his little convertible to bother paying any attention to what was happening in front of him.

Then the impulses from his sensory apparatus finally made their way through his dinosaur-style nervous system and made it to his pea-sized brain or nerve bundle. “LOCK!” went the brakes! “SCREE!” went the tires! He tried to swerve to avoid the monster-sized SUV in front of him, which was probably so large that it blocked his view of it slowing in front of him. But, “Oh, no!” Mr. Drives-Too-Slow-In-The-Carpool-Lane was right beside him!

Mr. DTSITCL was frightened by Mr. Thickie’s actions and put on his brakes! “LOCK!” went the brakes! “SCREE!” went the tyres! Of course the two people trapped behind him had to lok their brakes! “SCREE!” “SCREE!” And there was your humble and hapless motorcyclist getting ready to pass!

“LOCK!” went my brakes! “SCREE!” went my tires! Would I stop in time? I started to fish-tail. I thought, “Ooh, this is going to hurt!”

I unlocked my brakes and brought the bike back under control. Nobody hit anybody.

Mr. Thickie knew that his inattention could not possible be his fault. How dare traffic on the 405 freeway in the L.A. area slow down in front of him whilst he was busy being oblivious! He turned in front of me into the carpool lane until the monster SUV went into the No. 2 lane, then Mr. Thickie returned to the No. 1 lane. He began exhibiting his left middle finger to all and sundry. A motorcyclist accellerating in the far right lane, having just gotten onto the freeway flashed me the “thumbs up”.

I decided enough was enough and swooped ahead of Mr. DTSITCL, his two-car tail, and Mr. Thickie.

So what is to be learned from this little tale?

  1. If you’re in the carpool lane and people are stacked up behind you, you don’t belong in the carpool lane. Move over. Otherwise your “tail” might slam into you if you stop suddenly.

  2. If you’re driving in traffic, pay attention to what it’s doing. Otherwise you may plow into the person in front of you or crash into the people around you.

  3. If you’re on a motorcycle and there are people letting others pile up behind them when the road ahead is clear, pour on the power and get the hell away from these people as soon as you can. And as always, look out for “Left Seat Passengers”!

The End.

2

Eep. Sounds like a close call. A fishtailing incident on a bike really gets the adrenaline flowing, doesn’t it?

If there’s one thing you learn on a bike, it’s this: the danger is ahead of you. You can always get away from assholes behind you -given enough room- but you can never be sure of what the idiots in front of you are going to do.

3

Heh. Which is why I was positioning myself to get around the people ahead of me!

4

Y’know, you guys are NOT encouraging me to take my first motorcycle ride, no matter how hot my hots for the driver. I can always find some other way to squeeze him hard around the middle.

5

Before I rode a bike, I always thought bikers were in a hurry, or they were all speed demons. Now I know: they’re trying to get away from the idiots as soon as possible!

I find that travelling faster than other traffic makes me feel a lot safer on my bike. If I go 100 km/h, I get passed a lot, I keep checking my mirrors in horror as someone bears down on me in a large jeep or stationwagon doing 130 km/h. Especially at night! “Does he even see me?”, that sort of thing. If I go faster than 95% of all traffic, that means that only 5% of the danger is coming from the back. Those I’m passing I can anticipate on, or at least try. Those I can’t see can hit me while I don’t even see them coming.

So, make sure you go fast enough on a bike. It’s safer, oddly enough. :slight_smile:

6

Interesting logic you have there. Maybe you can find some way to fit the Theory of Relativity into that scenario?

7

Eh. It’s all part of the game. We try to be safe. We watch out for the car drivers. But sometimes you have to rely on your reflexes, experience, and the machine.

I agree. This is what I’ve found in my experience (and I’ve been riding since I was six).

8

Well, let’s see. The faster I move away from a speed camera, the more time it takes for the radar rays to reach my license plate relatively, therefore making it appear as if I am travelling slower rather than faster. This is how I never got a ticket on my bike. :slight_smile:

Actually, there’s this one speed camera nearby that I really love. It takes pictures from the front. Where bikes don’t have licence plates. I get a big kick out of seeing that red radar lense beam up as I wave to the camera doing 120 km/h (local speed limit 100 km/h). I’m sure the officers sorting out the pictures appreciate my sense of humour as well. :smiley:

9

Also, John, speeding on a bike feels somehow safer than in a car, as the distance it takes you to stop the bike completely is just so FREAKING short compared to a car. It never ceases to amaze me. Of course, I always keep a good distance, but I’m always amazed at how quickly that thing can stop, even when I’m sure I’m NEVER going to make it. Awesome!

10

And remember, May is motorcycle safety awareness month.

Left Seat Passenger - I like that. From here on out, I will always remember the LSP’s

Glad you’re OK, Johnny. I avoided becoming a cage sandwich back in February on the way to work one day when one of the brilliant bulbs about to enter a freeway decided to stop short at the end of the onramp.

Long story short - four cars in front of me, two behind me. Two of the four in front run into the dolt who slammed on the brakes, the third stops just short. I swerve hard to the right and pull up next to car #2 in a textbook perfect maximum stop just as car #5 (the one that had been directly behind me) slams into #4 at full speed.

It’s so fun out there some days.

11

Next time, drive a Challenger. :smiley:

12
  1. Don’t commute to LA… ::shudder::

I’m glad you’re all right, Johnny. If I ever get a motorcycle, I know who I’m callin’ to give me pointers… :smiley:

13

Left Seat Passengers, indeed. That’s a good one, Johnny.

I think that every motor vehicle should have a little sign on its dashboard, saying:

“Don’t drive unless you are prepared to PAY FUCKIN’ ATTENTION!!!”

The number of drivers out there whose minds are obviously someplace else is depressing. I’m getting to the point where I’d be satisfied if bozos like that just stayed out of the passing lanes. They don’t.

14

That’s interesting, Coldie, because I remember a time when motorcyclists generally went much faster than the cars on the road. Glad it’s still true somewhere.

In my part of the country, at least, it’s generally the opposite: they’ll be tootling down the highway at 65 mph (that’s probably about 105 kph), and all the folks driving family sedans will be going 70-75 mph.

Or will be trying to, since in southern Maryland the motorcyclists frequently ride in large enough packs that they’re hard to pass. And the car traffic just builds up behind them. I’m not sure whether this is because all the Pagans (what we have instead of Hell’s Angels) are getting a bit gray around the temples, or what.

15

RTFirefly: It’s probably because they are riding heavy, unmaneuverable, under-powered bike. :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley:

16

I’m very glad you weren’t hurt by those idiots, John. My ex always wanted to get a bike while we were together. I was always reluctant about it and I had to explain that it wasn’t that I felt he was an unsafe rider or whatever, it was all the other idiots out there that I didn’t trust!

The other thing that was brought to mind here was that I do not miss LA and the 405 at all!

17

Heh. I was gonna say that. :slight_smile:

Well what I was going to say was that on a cruiser, which seems to be a very large part of the motorbike market in the US, you have little protection from wind, and driving fast can get tiring after a while. On my bike, it’s tiring to do more than 140 km/h for longer than half an hour or so, too. On the naked Honda CB 500 I had my lessons on, 140 km/h wore you out in 5 minutes: no wind protection whatsoever. On a large touring bike in the BMW or Gold Wing vein, you could do 180 km/h without getting tired until you’re out of gas.

Therefore, cruisers are always a lot slower than faired bikes.

18

Been in this situation more times than I can remember.

My motorcycle club had t-shirts made up that say on the back, in large character:

HANG UP THE #&@*! PHONE
STOP PUTTING ON MAKEUP
PUT DOWN THE PAPER
JUST DRIVE!!!

19

Of course, if your motorcycle club was really concerned about safety, they wouldn’t ride around in t-shirts. :wink:

20

Ever hear the collision alarm on a destroyer? (I’ve only heard them in movies.) They go “whoot, Whoot!! WHOOT!!!” I’d like to have that on my bike. It’d scare the eyeliner and electric shavers right out of the LSP’s hands! :smiley: