Doing a 180-degree turn from the “who would you date on this board?” thread …
The SDMB Cruise has ended in disaster – struck an iceberg near the Bahamas. (Why didn’t we see that coming?)
We’ve all managed to scramble aboard an inflatable life raft. We’ve languished for days, and the raft is beginning to sink. There’s too much weight. One of us has to go. Everyone has turned to you in your infinite wisdom, to determine which SDMB’er must be cast overboard, for the good of all.
Who will it be? Try to explain it in a logical, kind, diplomatic way that will make the person understand.
“In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” - Ecclesiastes 1:18
Sure, people laugh at some of my posts, and I got mentioned a couple of times in the Date thread, and I tied with Krispy Original in the Most Popular thread. But that’s because I can occasionally be funny. What good is funny when the lives of all those people are at stake? You don’t need funny. You need someone that knows how to fish.
Besides that, my hips are a little wide, and I take up too much space. So, I would toss myself for my fellow SDMBers. One request, though. If somebody could do something to make me unconscious first, I’d appreciate it. Don’t want to know I’m drowning. And a small mention of Opal’s page wouldn’t hurt…
“The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage.” --anonymous redhead
Hmmm. I can just see everyone on the raft turning their eyes towards me and thinking “Hmmm. The 6’9” guy. Look at all that space his lankiness takes up." Yup, I am a goner.
Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.
Having missed the evacuation call due to preoccupation with their poker game, Sealemon, ChiefScott, manhattan, Little Nemo and beatle have had no choice but to patch up the hole in the boat and have resumed steaming ahead, just in time to pluck Cristi from the shark buffet. Cards, Cristi?
Who said anything about tossing somebody because you disagreed with them? Not me. The idea is, SOMEBODY has to go. What criteria do you use to decide? The person who’s had the best life so far? The person who’s had the * worst *?
(Did anybody see that cheesy late-70s/early 80s movie that involved a situation something like this? I think it was a made-for-TV one.)
Toss our shoes overboard, as well as everything in our pockets. Cut of all of everybody’s hair & dump that. The total weight should equal that of 1 humam being. This assumes that we are in a life raft big enough to hold all registered posters.
In addition, cannibalism will not reduce the weight of the people in the raft.
The total mass remains the same…
“Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.”----Jung
I’d bet on the smarts of the SDMBs to keep us afloat without having to resort to that Lord of the Flies shit. And I don’t care bout yer parameters Milo… life ain’t like that. My boat sails on the blue, not absolute B/W sea. Er, no Smiley, but a backass grin.
I’d sacrifice an arm to Cristi for her week’s sustenance,though…
Well, I’m an excellent swimmer and can actually fall asleep floating. We could rotate off, taking shifts in the water. Or better still, we could just toss Mr. Ed, Bubba, Racist Scumbag overboard as shark chow.
Then we can have Little Nemo, Chief Scott & Co. fix the raft.
Well, everyone who regularly gets mentioned in the “Most Popular Poster” threads has surely already accomplished everything a human being could aspire to; everything else is sure to be an anticlimax. Toss 'em overboard. You’ll be doing them a favor.
(Not that I’m still sulking over the “Date” thread.)
