The lil'wrekker is a bad bad speed demon. I thought. (Gas station food CAN be good, occasionally)

Barreling down the interstate going to the clinic. The lil’wrekker behind the wheel.
9 times I told her slow this mini(cooper) piece of crap down. 9 times she ignored me.
#10, in an all to shrill voice I said “I mean it… I’m gonna barf if you don’t slow down?”
(Gas station biscuit sammich, don’t ask. I’m stupid)

She freakin’ slowed down. Pulled over to the shoulder. I thought she was gonna kick me out. I forgot she needs ol’becks cash or credit to shop.
She says “There’s a guy running up behind me fast with his emergency flashers on.” Safety first, and all she pulls over. Good girl.
The other car came up quick veered into the lane to his left, nearly cutting a big rig off. I audibly sucked in my breath. The lil’wrekker says…“We’re ok, Ma”
I had visions of a preggers Lady being thrown from that little car into the ditch and me having to deliver her baby while she bled out. And me barfing, bad biscuit and all.
But, no we were safe. No horrible highway fatalities occured.
We got on the road again.

5 miles down the way is a ginormous county line Liquor emporium.
I swear, I have no proof, but I saw that little car parked kinda woppy-jawed in their lot. Before we zoomed by I saw a guy step out of the driver’s seat and walk toward the store.
So, my question is. Is lack of booze an emergency now? Do people really use the emergency flashers just so they can speed?
I hope I’m wrong.
I have no trouble with folks driving fast, if they know how to or I haven’t had a bad gas station biscuit.
As long as they are safe.
I told the lil’wrekker this observation. She laughed and said “This coming from a sick women who eats nasty gas station food!”

I’ve lost all my ability to to teach this girl anymore. She is on to me.

Anybody who puts on his flashers so he can get to the likker store faster is about a breakfast biscuit away from disaster.

I hope the drive home was a whole lot slower.

Now I’m hungry for a gas station biscuit sandwich. Get out of my way!

The word of the day. :smiley:

Wait a minute there! HOoooOOOOOld the phone!

The lil’wrekker is pregnant? Did I miss the announcement? (Yes, I can believe I did, but I thought I’d been reading all your threads, so, y’know…)

Oh, I like gas station bacon biscuits. Or most any bacon biscuits. I sometimes make homemade cheddar garlic biscuits and a couple slices of thick-cut Wrights bacon. It’s wonderful!


Omg. Nooooo. The lil’wrekker can’t take very good care of her Build-a-bear.
I meant the fictional pregnant lady in the car with emergency flashers on. I know, I know…I make whole scenarios in my head, when I’m stressed and in fear of my life, usually I’m the one getting thrown from cars. Again…in my head.

I’ve come to appreciate that the world is so much more interesting inside of Beck’s mind.

You got that right, buster.

Tell her to drive more careful-like because none of us have a phone number via which to yell at her.

I asked her if I could broadcast her number over the board, for all to see.
What she said was not for polite society, so I best not.:grin:

Where in Hell did go get the crazy notion that SDMB is polite?


FWIW, that’s what I thought you meant.

I think my oldest daughter spoke with Beck’s youngest when Pancho took his last ride, and interpolated–incorrectly–that my Mary was manners-normal for this dump.

This thread seems to be one bad shy.

It is. A faux pas I’ll endeavor to not repeat.
Bad me !…here’s the 3rd bad

First dibs in the spanking line!


To spank or to be spanked?

Impolite minds want to know.

That ship sailed long ago, my friend.

Wow, the sheer implied violence of this thread is scaring me. Kinda.