For thirst, find solace in milk;
For softness, turn ye to silk.
But if you’re annoyed,
It’s best to avoid
The source of your ire, or its ilk.
Speke discovered the source of the Nile
After many a mishap and trial.
But while out shooting a partridge,
He fatally emptied a cartridge
Into himself – should have missed by a mile.
Speke you say… Are you certain?
Not shooting in the dark with closed curtain?
I was told with a smile
That the source of the Nile
Was discovered by R. Francis Burton
Dammit! The above link is poo
But what are you going to do?
It suggests that Speke
Had Burton quite beat
Wouldn’t mind mind clicking here instead, would you?
ACK! pierre72 has discovered
That the point he put forth isn’t covered
Quite the way he believed
In the link we received;
Will the truth out in what he’s uncovered?
The truth is, I’m pale as a ghost
As Isabel slams the East Coast
For our friends in her way
Like our Rotorhead, say;
Let us hope he’s not now (soggy) toast!
In England, where it often gets soggy
Many a woman has found that her doggy
Has been attacked, slashed, and mauled
By a savage feline she’s called
A cougar, and not just a moggy!
Oops, linked but forgot to italicize “moggy” in the preceding post.
As the sun sinks behind field and river
The moggy creeps forth, all aquiver
To capture and slay
Its verpentine* prey
Or whatever the dusk may deliver.
- Yeh, I thought about bold/ital-ing this word, but I’m not that sadistic. Bonus points if you can work it into your limerick, though.
ACk :eek: ACK :eek: ACK
That should be VESPERTINE, not verpentine!!
ACK :o ACK :o ACK :o
Shoot.
There goes my limerick using verpentine.
Shoot.
I deliver for a pizzeria
I cruise around town in my Kia
My vespertine driving
Means business is thriving
I guess we don’t cause diarrhea
Sorry… 
Poor Algernon thought “verpentine”
Worth tackling; words like “serpentine”
Would do the job nicely.
Alas, 'twarn’t precisely
Correct; like mis-saying “turpentine”.
Meanwhile, our fair Lily leapt in
With witty word-play she did win
The bonus award
For the “vespertine” word.
But does her pizzeria serve gin?
On us, for those diners who phone us
Is deeply incumbent the onus
To serve such pizza pie
As to make strong men cry.
The gin is merely a bonus.
Oh, come on! Don’t let this thread die!
There’s no need to even ask why.
Just jot down some verse
Either clean or perverse.
Lim’ricks are easy as pie!
Don’t let Isabel get you down.
She’s not staying long in your town.
Please, brighten our night
With a lim’rick you write
And make us smile rather than frown.
The rain has started to come down
But that shouldn’t make us all frown
Face the storm with smile
As it whips through the miles
Even if that requires a clown!
TeaElle, you must be warm-hearted.
It seemed as if all had departed.
But you came right through
(And that makes you true-blue!)
To continue what ETF started.
When I started* this thread, I did hope
'Twould be fun for the fans of Straight Dope.
I’m delighted to see
That it’s through to Page 3!
So let’s give a new link: jackelope!**
We at least should keep going this thread
Till we’ve heard from our friend RotorHead
Now awash in this storm
Taking care of his mom;
Writing limericks, he’d rather instead.
*Preview is my friend: I was just about to send my limerick, then checked it – and discovered AvhHines got there first. 
**Hey, go for the pun – I know you can do it!
The gentleman cried “I can’t cope
With flowers and church, all that dope.”
His friend scratched his head
And then, after thought, said
“Here’s what you should do, Jackelope!”
TGF, it was just too easy…
Oops!:eek:
The gentleman cried “I can’t cope
With flowers and church, all that dope.”
His friend scratched his head
And then, after thought, said
“Here’s what you should do, Jackelope!”
TGF, it was just too easy…