With eight cats, my furniture’s scratched;
The curtains are fur-flecked and patched;
There are toys everywhere,
Black and orange shed hair –
But the laughter and love are unmatched!
ETF, you just had to do it, didn’t you?! Sorry for mangling your initials - brain fart!
I realized while out shopping for hinge-
able doors that I hadn’t a door hinge!
And what good is a door
Just laid out on the floor?
Unless, of course, painted bright orange.
at which point, it becomes a fashion statement, you see!
Hey, it was the best I could do with orange - so sue me!
Out of the sequence - ignore for the purpose of the game!
I’d stay until I was near dead,
But I really must go up to bed.
Don’t view me with scorn -
I’ll be back in the morn!
'Cause I just love doing this thread!
Thanks, ETF, for starting it!
Someone show AvhHines the door
For such rhyming that all should abhor!
Oh, stop now, I’m just kidding
And thank you for ridding
Us of a link with rhymes so obscure!
The link, whether plain or obscure,
Doesn’t have to be line-ending, sure;
It can go anywhere
That its placement seems fair.
But a clever rhyme counts even more.
I’m just wondering how long this thread
Can go on, ere at last put to bed.
ACK! My brain’s got a tic!
Now it’s locked in lim’rick
Rhythms, endlessly loop in my head!
I hope you’ll forgive my embracement
Of rules stricter than you in this case meant.
While allowed to engird
with the rest the key word,
I prefer to reserve final placement.
couldn’t resist one more before lights out! 
Good night, for real this time!
AvhHines, you’re gamer than me.
I thought wisest for players 'twould be
To allow them to pick
Where the link they would stick
While creating their rhyme cleverly;
Thus providing a challenge enough
While not making the task way too tough.
Let the players have fun;
Test their wits, but not un-
Duly torture them – that’s much too rough.
On the other hand, it seems to me
I perhaps could enhance the ante
By asking you choose
Two links you could use;
Instead of just one that is key.
So I’ve bolded two links in this rhyme;
Pick just one, or take both the same time.
It may drive you to drink;
It will sure make you think!
You can use extra stanzas; that’s fine.
And now, having thrown THAT little bomblet out, I’m off to bed, to sleep the smirkingly satisfied sleep of the wicked. 
Two things drive me near off the brink
And fear for how deeply we’ll sink:
Success of the Yankees
And Shrub’s hanky-pankies.
But lim’ricks won’t drive me to drink!
After work I was having a drink,
And I suddenly began to think
My ears burning; I’ll strive
Not to imbibe and drive,
For this karma has made my heart sink.
[sub]Weak, I know, but I had both words to use and a left-field call-out to respond to.[/sub]
Right! So put away your kiddy toys.
You’re playing with men and not boys
One link wouldn’t do,
So we’re working with two
'Ears to some more cunning rhyme ploys.
“Men not boys”? sniffed the cunning old dame
Who came up with this limerick game.
You’d best not be sexist.
Or you will cease to exist!
Just make sure that your rhyme isn’t lame!
Fear not, fair dame, I’ll be not so crass.
Yet your final criteria confounds me, alas.
My brow is all rippled.
Is my poetry crippled?
Then it will need crutches, and fast.
My limerick skills; rusty at best
Will surely be put to test
By joining this game
(Hope this rhyme isn’t lame)
but I won’t have much time to invest.
Rats, now my eyebrows are raised
petre with that last rhyme has me fased
because I am not fast enough
keeping up with you will be tough
with all your prowess I am amazed.
Old Broker’s Advice
this one required a title
Invest, young folks, that is the stuff
Of which fortunes are made. Now get tough
With your huge self-indulgence
and crass self-effulgence.
Save, save, save! It can’t be too much.
:smack: :smack: :smack:
Invest, young folks, that is the stuff
Of which fortunes are made. Now get tough
With your huge self-indulgence
and crass self-effulgence.
Save, save, save! It can’t be enough.
:smack: :smack: :smack:
Carry on…
Oh, and ears to you, too, pierre72. May our puns never get us shot!
Fortune-ately there is no law
That requres me from puns to withdraw
“Tough justice” you’d call
When I’m first 'gainst the wall
“Dreadful puns were his one only flaw”!
A giraffe with dreadful halitosis
Tried to cure by principle of osmosis
though mints absorbed the smell
on her throat they were hell
and her flawed plan caused reverse peristalsis.
Yuck
Ye gods! This addiction is dreadful!
For limerick lines I’d a head full
Of words; then I saw
That each one had a flaw,
Now, like Porpentine, I’ve become fretful.
Spider Woman – ahead by a throat
With the answering limerick she wrote
True to principle, she
Set us two words to be
Linking onward – ennui’s antidote.