Said an overweight actress of note,
"I have to get rid of this bloat.
My role in this play
calls for sheer lingerie–
I’m afraid I can’t eat your compote!
A friendly young doe in a glade
Spied a crying wolf flopped in the shade.
“Why the sorrow?” quoth she.
“Sheer hunger,” said he–
The rest is a mess, I’m afraid.
Since nobody responded to the limerick that put cheap and minutes into play, I’ll incorporate those as well…
“You’ll get cheap minutes, my dear,
As our long-distance plan’s better, it’s clear”,
Said the telemarketer. But with Verizon I stayed,
And replied, “I’m afraid
A switch would be folly so sheer!”
Well, at least getting telemarketer, folly, flopped, and sorrow into one limerick shouldn’t be all that tough…
Ummm, someone did respond to the cheap/minutes poem with a poem that wasn’t quite a limerick…I think it’s a page back.
It was folly, I learned to my sorrow,
And I flopped in attempting to borrow
All the wiles of a tele-
Marketer in Delhi –
But I’ll find a new job come tomorrow!
Ahhhhh… my brain hurts…
Bravissimo, Eddy! Your wiles
with the language should be known for miles–
from Delhi to Perth
to the ends of the earth,
you’ve brought all the Dopers big smiles.
That should be bravissima, ISNorden!
Language play’s always a gig
For those who think ourselves trig.
And it’s easy to think
If you’ve had 'nuff to drink,
So pour me another, real big.
Easy on the drinks there Hines,
Can you still type in straight lines?
Dope* is a fix
With booze not to mix
And mods play police with the fines.
- As in Straight Dope.
I’m trying to play this game straight,
avoiding responses irate.
Provoking the mods
isn’t worth risking odds–
should I quit now, before it’s too late?
P.S. I hope Hines and ETF forgive my gender mistake in the limerick I wrote to compliment her work. :o
Poor Norden: “I’m risking the ire
Of the gal I called guy – is that fire
That I see in her eye?”
My responses: “No, why?
Since my screen name’s thrice male, 'tisn’t dire.”
To a slacker, the manager rants:
“It’s thrice now, you’ve had your fair chance!
Your future is dire–
I’ll soon have to fire
you, thrown out by the seat of your pants.”
doh I forgot that the old link-words should be underlined instead of italic…stupid no-edit rule!
i must agree its debonaire
allmost with a certain flare
but i cant italicize my words
nor bold so i must be a nerd
i will be ferocious
and leave you with this word
supercalafrajalisticexpialadocious
i think im out of place
Okay, that rhyme didn’t feature either of the words underlined below.
Caesar’s “Iacta alea est” is a quote known
(and not to Latin scholars alone)
To mean “the die is cast” –
(Not “this template will last”,
but rather, “the future is thrown”).
C. Tacitus spoke once in Latin:
“I heard from a trav’ler who sat in
on some German buffoons
who were casting the runes:
tell me, scribe, do we need to keep that in?”
“The future is now!” So I’ve heard
But to me, the idea is absurd.
The die’s cast, bones are thrown
O’er the Palatine stone:
Past perfected, and future obscured.
Ah, Sternvogel – I had to trash two lines of my offering when Preview revealed you’d beaten me to ISNorden’s words. So lines 3 and 4 are a last-minute scramble. 
:eek: ISNorden ripostes! A new stanza I must craft:
Have you heard all the news of our tribe?
How the Dopers have tried to describe
What the truth is, but find
There’s no meeting of mind
Diff’rent world views refuse here to jibe.
Ahem. Yes, I realize I’ve now tossed out four words in those two stanzas. No, I won’t be crushed if you pick only two to play with.
But, if you’re (wo)man enough for the challenge… 