The Lone Ranger: Film Opens July 3rd

It would be hard to miss the trailers, and with Johnny Depp in yet another bizarre costume, I am sure there will be some money made over the July 4th weekend.

I am old enough to remember the original Lone Ranger TV show when I was just a little kid - it was mildly entertaining - the usual action/western adventures with the cowboy (Ranger) and good buddy Tonto to bring in a bit of Native American lore.

I am just wondering aloud if there is enough interest in western movies, and more specifically, if this is a franchise that will interest anyone who is not already familiar with the story?

One thing I am dreading is Halloween - you just know there are going to be a gazillion people schlepping out the black and white make up and going as Johnny Depp’s Tonto, with the poor spouse being forced to be the Lone Ranger.

  1. Have you ever seen/heard of The Lone Ranger series?
  2. Are you interested in seeing the film?
  3. If you have already seen it, what did you think of it?

Yes
No
N/A

Johnny Depp looks and acts utterly ridiculous. The portrayal of Tonto in earlier works is cringe-inducing already and the movie doesn’t look like it’s planning on being any better.

Remember The Legend of the Lone Ranger (1981)? It failed miserably.

The TV series with Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels I loved when I was a small child. I watch it now and it’s almost comical. The production values were low, to say the least. But I still love the concept of a resurrected lawman forced to wear a mask because he’s been marked for death by a criminal organization. I wish I had been alive in the 1930s so I could have listened to the original radio dramas.

I have absolutely no interest in this film as I have seen enough of Depp acting goofy. I also have a recent aversion to white washing in films.
If this is successful I just might be able to sell my story about the Cavendish Gang being werewolves, and “Tonto” an ancient Skinwalker who understands how dangerous this is.

  1. Yeah, I think almost everyone has heard of it. I have not actively watched it, but I am aware of it and was going to watch the Sebastian Spence show of it before it got canceled(before airing).

  2. Yes x10. I love the first 3 Pirates movies and do not get the hate. I’m seeing this one because of Gore Verbinski and Ted Elliot/Terry Rossio, the talent behind Pirates.

  3. I haven’t seen it yet.

They can tell whatever story they want, and make whatever updates or edginess to Clayton Moore’s Lone Ranger.

So long as the “William Tell Overture” is worked into it.

This is a Johnny Depp vehicle, pure and simple. And as such, it will make a fortune.

“You go to hell, Lone Ranger.”

Armie Hammer has the charisma of a tree-stump, Johnny Depp’s performance looks embarrassing at best/racist at worst, and the movie as a whole looks like Pirates of the Caribbean re-skinned.

I expect it will make more money in one hour than I will ever see in my whole life.

I still can’t believe they didn’t cast a Native American as the Lone Ranger.

Oh, and for the OP: 1) Yes, 2) No.

1.) It used to be syndicated on Sunday mornings, in between the Little Rascals and the old Superman series. My brother and I watched it regularly.

2.) No, it looks dreadful. I wasn’t sure you could make Tonto more “you smoke-um peace pipe” but the trailers would seem to indicate that it just might be possible.

  1. Sure, thought it was cool when I was a kid.
  2. Mrs. Plant (v.3.0) wants to see it. While she likes Depp, she turned down Dark Shadows.

“Dammit, Silver! I said bring back a POSSE!!!”

Did they give Klinton Spilsbury a cameo?*

*If they did, of course, someone would have to re-dub his voice.

1. Have you ever seen/heard of The Lone Ranger series?
I’m in my mid-40s, of course I’ve heard of the Lone Ranger, but I never really watched it and know nothing of the backstory. I know he had a sidekick Indian who was curiously more interested in taking a kick to the balls for his kemosabe than in scalping him; I always wondered where the rest of Tonto’s tribe was and why he was hanging around with a white guy who wore a mask; and who TLR thought he was fooling by wearing the mask anyway. Batman’s mask barely conceals his identity and Robin’s is basically useless under his signature square hairdo.

2. Are you interested in seeing the film?
Looks like a fun Goofy Depp movie. It DID prompt me to watch Benny and Joon again. Depp is damned expressive and he doesn’t disappoint, but I’d like to see him really stretch himself and play a non-weird leading role. I mean, I really like watching him, but the guy has (or at least had) so much potential and he just uses his talents to be, well, weird. I’d like to see what he could do in place of Dustin Hoffman or Anthony Hopkins. I’ll watch it if it’s on TV same as how I watched Rango, but I’m not interested in going to see it–as I said, I’m unfamiliar with The Lone Ranger story and I’m not a big fan of Westerns.

**3. If you have already seen it, what did you think of it? **
It’s not yet July 3–so I haven’t had a chance to see it.

  1. Watched it as a kid - even had a Lone Ranger lunchbox in elementary school.

  2. No and hell no. Looks dreadful. I’d much rather see Stan Freberg’s Jenos Pizza roll commercial again. Or listen to Lenny Bruce’s Thank You Masked Man. The Cosby version isn’t bad either.

I wonder if they’ll do the “what do you mean we, pafeface?” joke.

“Doctor say you gonna die, Kemosabe.”

Grew up on it.

Yes.

Wait till 7/3

He’s playing the dead crow on top Depp’s head. I’ve heard he and Depp disagreed on the crow’s motivations and backstory, which must have made for a very lively set.

Seriously though, it’s always fun to bust out a Klinton Spilsbury reference, and seldom does the chance present itself. I usually save it for comparisons to unusually horrific young actors or actresses.

I have seen the previews and this version stinks.
Johnny Depp as Tonto is a ridiculous segway from the Jack Sparrow character.
Strictly an action focused comedy of errors. The special effects overwhelm the
plot and make the storyline even more absurd.

Dr. Fidel you have a good idea that a backup subplot about werewolf
treachery or even zombie eradication might save this trainwreck of a movie.