Dude, i thought this was going to end with your dog dying. Good thing i was wrong.
He’s a fine looking fellow, but I’m glad he’s not mine! 
Aw, he’s handsome.
i believe i’ve read about your dog in stephanie plum books.
My uncle’s lab used to open their fridge. They had to put a chain around it and padlock it. My german shepherd used to open the windows and let himself out. I ended up having to put burgler-proof locks to keep him in. The last time I got him out of the pound it cost me $500. It’s amazing what we’ll put up with for love.
StG
Well I don’t know what I was expecting, but that dog looks like a lovely, geriatric, good-boy.
While he is awfully sweet-looking, I was hoping that it was going to be some shockingly huge, wild-eyed, slobbery hound with bits of food all over his face.
Awwww, I love him already 
That’s perfect!! He would be a wonderful companion for Stephanie!
YAY!
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He’s normal-sized! I was expecting this frighteningly huge yellow behemoth of a dog, with fangs and foodstains and a rapacious look in his eye.
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He’s cute! His sweet face betrays no hint of the ravening beast within.
What a little (er, big) devil, though. There has to be more to his motivation than just boredom, though…right? I’ve never had a dog, but if he were human I’d say he was overcompensating for a childhood of extreme deprivation or otherwise acting out some self-soothing-but-ultimately-self-destroying scenario out of twisted rage against his parents. Or something.
Wazzawazzawazzagood*dog! Yessum you izz! Ezz such a hamsome doggums!
*Sorta good. 
As a non-pet lover, I’m amazed at what people will put up with from their pets.
Am I the only one who read the title and the OP’s name and thought, “You finally escaped from The Tombs of Atuan?”?
Have you read Marley & Me?
Susan
Never had the heart to. I gather the story goes, well, all the way to “the end.”
(grumble, grumble… damned five minute edit windows…)
Well, he’s big enough. He averages around 85 lbs, but got up to 100 once. Since the non-garage portion of my house is around 20 feet by 40 feet, that’s more than enough dog for my purposes. Also, he is quite tall (as you may have guessed by his freezer compartment raiding prowess).
As far as motivation goes, well, Leopold and Loeb were supposedly motivated by nothing more complicated than boredom. If it was good enough for them, it’s good enough for my dog.
Manifestly I have escaped. Hence the name. However, I am still occasionally tempted to honor the Nameless Ones by painting the standing stones with a steaming bowl of blood from a large, yellow dog.