The Lupacabran

[Scylla]

I put some of the cocaine on the shoulder as an anaesthetic and grabbed an ant and held it to the shoulder at the start of the wound lin line. It pinched, and then I squeezed it’s head off, it stayed pinched.

Just like a suture!

I’m going to close the rest of the wound up, and try to get moving. It’s still light here.

[drpepper]

@Scylla

The other day I was out running in the woods when I got kidnapped by a flying saucer crewed by an advanced intergalactic race. They informed me that humanity did not originate on earth, but Chu’uta; a distant planet orbiting a dying star. As a species we were transported so that we would not be wiped out by a supernova.

That was 2 million years ago, and our lease is up.

There is another race of beings called Lupacabrans currently surrounding a distant dying star. The aliens who kidnapped me are contemplating destroying humanity so the Lupacabrans may settle here (apparently we are considered a failed experiment. I don’t know why.)

According to the aliens, Bruce Springsteen was right. We are born to run. I am told that we evolved our intelligence not from tool use, or opposable thumbs, but from hunting. We evolved as persistence hunters. Our ancestors lost their protective body hair, much of their fast twitch musculature, gained large gluteus maximus, and a whole set of muscles to keep our head steady when we ran. We are the only creature on the planet that can run enormous distances in the heat of the day, chasing our prey into heat prostration and we sacrificed much else to attain this evolutionary specialty.

Persistence hunting, the aliens say is one of the three main paths to intelligence, as major success can be gained from teamwork and rudimentary tools (clubs.)

They didn’t tell me what the other two paths are.

The Lupacabrans are also persistence hunters.

I am now being transported to a specially designed asteroid where I will compete with a similarly kidnapped Lupacabran. The winner’s species will get the earth. The loser’s will be destroyed.

The competition will be in the form of a race across varied terrain inhabited by diverse animals to simulate a persistence hunting environment. It will be extremely dangerous.

The race will cover 437 miles. The first one across the finish line wins. There are no other rules, but there are conditions:

I was given an energy to matter pouch. This pouch gets worn around the waste and will produce a variety of foods and drinks as well as medical supplies and stimulants upon demand. Much of it was preprogrammed but I was allowed to choose a few specialty items. A food item, a beverage item and a medical item. I chose Reese’s peanut butter cups, gatorade and cocaine (I remembered that scene in Papillon where those guys ran for a long time chewing cocoa leaves.)

I was given something they called a skinsuit. It will supposedly protect me from environmental extremes and act as a kind of compression bandage should I get injured.

I was allowed to keep my New Balance running shoes.

I was allowed to choose a group back on earth to communicate with from time to time to gain insight, moral support and advice. I thought about choosing NASA or MENSA or the Rand foundation or DARPA, but at the time I still thought this was all a dream so I chose the SDMB. I’m sensing this may have been a critical mistake, but we’ll see. They gave me this internet tablet thingie that folds up as light and thin as a tissue. Good connection though!

If anybody doubts me, one of the Mods or admins should check my IP. They can confirm that I am posting from an internet address located outside the solar system.

I get to choose one more item. A weapon, either passive or aggressive (I think this means offense or defense.) The rule here is strict. It may not be a projectile or other stand-off, kill at a distance item. Other than that, I’m free to choose.

I’m thinking of something like a combination Samurai sword/lightsaber. Anyway, I have to choose by tomorrow. Than there is some kind of ceremony and meal where I get to meat the Lupacabran. They say we will be made to understand each other so that we may communicate if we so choose.

Anyway, I’m gonna need some help and advice over the next week or so. I don’t know how often I’ll be able to post as I guess I’ll be running a lot. I could use the help.

Any general thoughts and advice? What about the weapon? Lightsaber, right?

Oh, and let’s keep this serious because if I lose we all die.

Thanks in advance.
-Scylla

Uncle Leo?

[freekalette]

Be careful using the ant-heads to close off your wounds! What if they secrete some sort of acid to dissolve their prey? I would’ve used some mud to pack it, if I were you. Ah, well. Can’t be helped now. Good call using the cocaine to numb it though!

Hmmm, speaking of coke, can your pack produce as much of it as you want? The Lupacabran doesn’t seem as intelligent as it’d like you to think it is. After all, it didn’t stick around to make sure you died! Perhaps it’s dumb enough that you can poison it with the drugs. Tell it that Earthlings have an old tradition of feasting before a big battle (or something similar) and put a bunch of coke in its portion.

You say it’s like a werewolf; will the lunar cycle affect it at all?

Just throwing out ideas here. I wish you luck for all our sakes!