How the fuck is it society’s business to “evaluate” somebody’s manhood based on his life choices? (Yes, I know that that kind of normative judgementalism is in fact very traditional, but that’s what I’m complaining about!)
Is a man attempting something in his life that he thinks is a worthwhile goal, and whose pursuit makes him happy and fulfilled?
Is a man refraining from harming others, and building into his life ways to help others, either as a major career ambition or in other sorts of practices?
Is a man in some way, somehow contributing to positive developments in the world?
Is a man coping with his own life disappointments with grace and resilience? Is he extending sympathy and support to help those around him cope with their life disappointments?
Is he looking after his health, caring for those he’s committed to care for, and having fun?
Then he’s man enough for anyone or anything. End of discussion. However a good man is being is a good way to be a man.
And I would ask exactly the same questions, and make exactly the same statements, about how a woman is being. We need to get past the societal stage of having rigid one-size-fits-all (or rather, two-sizes-fit-all, since there’s supposed to be one way for men and another way for women) standardized lifeways that everybody by default is expected to conform to. Lives are individual, and nobody has the authority to judge whether yours is a “success” or a “failure” based on arbitrary standardized criteria.