This is a choice you have made. It’s not reflective of male/female relations generally.
You do realize, I hope, that the bear/man in the woods thing wasn’t some universal referendum on gender relations, right?
Sometimes you have to just ignore the meme.
I’m reminded of men who got concerned in the wake of the me too movement, because they thought they couldn’t interact with women anymore for fear of being falsely accused of sexual harassment.
If you live your life in a way that doesn’t invite false accusations, you really have nothing to worry about.
I’ve worked for the past ten years at an agency that is predominantly women, helping a clientele that is not exclusively, but predominantly women, who were victimized by men. I’m not going to share the details of the horror stories I’ve encountered but whatever you’re imagining, it’s worse.
In the ten years I have worked there, with women who are facing the horrors of domestic and sexual violence head on, in an environment where employees have serious secondary trauma and are quite open and vocal about their feelings, I have heard a misandrist statement exactly once.
Whatever is flying around on the internet, hate and fear of men is not the cultural norm among women. But of course the louder and more hyperbolic you are online, the more attention you get. The internet social context is incentivized to make bigger and more inflammatory statements. So you will see the worst of the worst opinions there. But in reality, in the real world, what people do has a far greater impact.
It took a while, but I think I’m pretty well caught up with the thread.
I sometimes think that men and women have issues that are somewhat analogous, but different. And because they’re not exactly the same we start squabbling over which group has it worse, as if there’s a finite amount of sympathy in the world and we should only give it to the most deserving before we run out. So, while our issues may be similar, the responses are not.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is to try to understand why people feel the way they do, even if I don’t agree with what they do in response. I see messages in the media and popular culture that aren’t very flattering of men. I can understand why women say they’d rather encounter a bear than a lone man in the wilderness. I can also understand why some men like Der_Trihs would take offense. While we seem to take most folks feelings into account when they say they’re offended, posters here are trying to convince Der_Trihs that his feelings are wrong.
Similarly, it’s turning out a surprising fraction of Bronze- and Iron-Age graves that were historically just assigned as “man” because they had weapons in them, actually were those of women.
I couldn’t sleep the other night so I ended up watching Basic Instinct on cable TV. I think the concept of “male inequality” can best be described in context of a typical Michael Douglas character.
A Real Man is viewed as competent and assertive at all times. He drinks, smokes, does manly drugs like coke, and fucks. Sometimes he goes through the motion of quitting these things (often to please a woman), but usually goes back to them in times of stress (which is how you know he’s about to get shit done). He is a loner with typically no true friends (except for his best friend, a group of similarly manly coworkers, drinking buddies, and professional ‘frienemy’ rivals, a young protégée, his boss (if he indeed has one at all) and often one or more supportive exes). He should be free to conduct business as he sees fit, punch anyone who disrespects him, and shoot anyone he feels threatened by with no repercussion any more serious than “paid leave” (which sounds a lot like a vacation).
Such a man is constantly under threat. Seductive women who weaponize their vagine to twist his mind and threaten his livelihood, marriage, even his life. Weak-ass bureaucrats, regulators, and rivals looking to meddle or usurp his business or hold him accountable for his actions! Even betrayal by trusted friends and protégées!
It is a wonder how such a man can even survive in this day and age!
Hell of a lot of folks seem to want to be a modern day Ernest Hemingway. Or at least be the character the author played in his not-really-autobiographical books.
I completely get the point that these images of Being A Real Man in these sorts of movies are dysfunctional. If real men tried to emulate those characteristics … it would not go very well.
I maintain though that real boys aren’t learning about being Real Men from media but from the real men in our lives. Fathers most of all. And from influential real women in our lives too.
I’m conflicted when I’m out running and there’s a woman running ahead of me, not running slowly enough that I can just quickly pass with nowhere to take a turn. Do I slow down? Do I turn around and run the other way? I really don’t like the idea of making someone uncomfortable. When I was younger it was easy just to speed up and pass her. I tend to run with our dog now, and usually stay on a big field or on neighborhood streets. That makes it a little easier.
If you’re clearly running as a form of exercise, as she is, I don’t think you’re making anyone uncomfortable. Runners go at different paces and she probably knows that. That’s just my opinion.
You’re not wrong. When I was young my extreme social awkwardness made many girls/women nervous around me, so that could be where the concern about making women uncomfortable comes from.
