Here’s the original Mailbag column - http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mmarsface.html
You know, one of the saddest things about the “face” spectacles is that these people are so insistent on this or that being a face, they don’t even consider any other possibilities.
Take the original Mars face, for example. With the enhancements we can see that it’s not a face, but in fact a giant toe. Presumably this alien race had plenty of soccer fans.
The tree image looks a lot like a bowling ball, but it could also be most of the Westinghouse logo. That’d actually make more sense, because telephone poles are made out of wood, and wood is a fuel, which is required to power a generator. Or something.
And under “more faces”, there’s a broken spatula next to a tiny motor scooter, an equally diminuitive rhinoceros (or maybe a pistol), a somewhat misshapen fire hydrant, a partially-eaten waffle inside a doughnut (Wow, soccer fans and restauranteurs :D), and a rather abstract rendering of Japan. Or a close parenthesis. Sheesh, a snake, I dunno. (The happy face crater really does look like a happy face, however, see for yourself.)
Say, this is kinda fun. What the hell, let’s do this with CONSTELLATIONS as well! I mean, who says that the Little Dipper isn’t really a baseball cap? Or Scorpio isn’t a coat hanger? Or Orion isn’t a lava lamp? Or a cheerleader with a baton? Or…all right, I’ll stop now.
(But seriously wouldn’t a bowling ball makes sense? Because bowling’s a popular activity, especially in smaller towns, and both the pins and lanes are made of wood, and…)