The Masturbation Diet!

well my daughter did ask how I was losing weight since I havn’t been to the gym in months, what shall I tell her? I know a new diet!

After all, if you recall from this thread, Hiroyuki Nishigaki, another Japanese researcher, believes that if You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday you will “banish depression.”

Well, according to the reviews, all this book does is cause an overflow of “old black excrement.”


Well, now, jarbaby, I’m not sure if I buy all that about losing weight when one does that. skeptical look

Oh, wait. I did lose almost 50lbs last year alone… :stuck_out_tongue:

Hey! What can I say? Mr Bear was soooooooo far away all year. It was take care of myself, or stay really, really, really, really, really [sub]<you get the idea>[/sub] frustrated till he came home.
I can tell you it’s a whole lot more fun, and burns up a lot more…calories, yeah, that’s it, calories… when you have some ‘help’. :wink: Which is why I wouldn’t allow any passive watching in my house. :smiley:

[sub]<I can’t believe I just said all that!>[/sub]

Masturbation is good excercise, but doesn’t improve your
sense of rhythm. You’ll always be a beat off.

goonhead’s here all the week!

And by god, I tried it last night and now I can fit easily into a size 4!


Old news. 20 years ago a guy gave me a book that explains how many calories certain sexual activities use…thus you can do other things that use more calories. e.g. get a partner.

In ‘Voices from the Ghetto’ a girl said (approx) ‘When a guy & girl get together, the guy loses ten lbs & the girl gains ten lbs’. cute.

So, in the not too distant future, health insurance companies will be paying for our porn? :smiley:

Hey thinksnow, the light you now see me in, hmmm? You now know me for the compulsive Googler that I am, right? Right? Right?? :wink:

German Dr. Karen Weatherby did a 5 year study on 200 men studying the benefits of looking at women’s breasts. She published her results in the New England Journal of Medicine stating that 10min. of oogling is about equal to a 30 min. aerobic workout! Men who looked everyday had lower blood pressure, less heart disease, and a slightly slower pulse.
I don’t buy that 10min. of drooling is the same as 30min. on a bike, or 5min. on a bike for that matter, but hey, atleast I can claim it was Doctor’s orders after getting slapped across the face. :smiley:

cyk, I don’t have a cite for this either, but I believe that breast study was revealed to be a hoax a few days after it was released.

but don’t refrain from looking at my boobs, if it so suits ya.


I’m still selecting more expressive adverbs. I’ll get back to ya.