The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good)

Melania is getting 6% on Rotten Tomatoes from the critics, vs. 99% from the (apparently very small) audience. That’s a difference of 93 percentage points between the critics and the movie-watching public. A decade ago, we discussed the gap between critic reviews and general-public reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and it appeared at the time that the film with the greatest gap between the twain was Hating Breitbart, also a political movie.

Also, it appears that the movie is flopping, hard - even by January cinema standards. But apparently not as hard as the industry expected it to flop: it’s done $8 million so far, in spite of expectations that it would do $1-5 million.

Box office: ‘Melania’ pacing for $8 million opening weekend

I kind of love that two opposites have movies out this weekend:

Melania - a very much disliked person

Markiplier - a very much loved person. His movie is Iron Lung, not a documentary.

Despite the bad reviews for Melania (and they’re awful) and embarrassingly bad ticket sales, the “documentary” is a success for Amazon and Bezos. They got their bribe in and good things will follow.

That’s down from a high of 8% as more critics weigh in, falling over themselves to find suitably biting mockery. Melania apparently has the same shameless total lack of self-awareness as her orange spouse. I’m pretty sure this is the lowest movie rating I’ve ever seen.

I just have to wonder if anyone in the Trump universe had ever seen Citizen Kane? You know, the part where he builds his talentless second wife an opera house and she flops terribly.

I saw a clip, purportedly from a North Korean news broadcast, where the hostess referred to her as an “expensive prostitute.”

I’ve heard reports that in certain theaters a whole row will be purchased while the rest of the seats are still empty. That’s not how seats normally get sold; people buying individual tickets are going to buy seats with gaps between other seats until the theater starts to fill. So I’m sure a good percentage of that $8 mill is Repub operatives purchasing whole rows at a time.

Well, they think good things will follow. But Trump believes in accepting tribute, not in providing value for money. With luck not much will come of this other than a bad movie and entertainingly vicious reviews.

I personally cannot image a duller subject for a feature film than a jaded and soul selling immigrant who married a disgusting rich guy to secure her future.

I expect the RW propaganda machine is making this out to be a bigger hit than the last thing Kim Jong Un liked.

IOW, it’s all bots buying tickets and all bots praising the movie.

Welcome to the AI-powered dystopian future.

Yeah, but the money for those tickets is coming from someone’s bank account…

Probably from the foreign leaders who paid to be on the Board of Peace, hoping the movie would achieve that goal by putting people to sleep.

Sometimes target audience groups buy blocks of tickets, and invite the fascisti to come and sit in their block, for free. It keeps the audience segregated, so no one overhears the whispers of members of other groups, especially if you buy a big enough block that there is a buffer of empty seats cocooning your members.

This was a big thing during The Passion of the Christ, when the Yid was disinvited to sit a couple of times, because such-&-such church had reserved that whole block.

Trump is interviewed in the film, so I’m hoping for a nice record of his dementedness with sympathetic interviewers, where no one can claim he’s been discombobulated by “fake news” or something.

I was saying “Boo-urns.”

Once you eliminate all the reporters and critics that have to attend, of course the very few that remain will probably give good reviews, the same way an evangelical Christian movie gets extremely high reviews from that only ones that actually want to see the movie no matter how exceedingly awful and cheap that movie is.

I can’t imagine anyone has time to watch this “vanity brag" movie.

Just wait, all the other no talent, nobodies who are mega-rich doing nothing are gonna rush to get their movie made.

Oh joy, I’m waiting with bated breath for a Kardashian film.

We checked the showings at the east Mesa theaters yesterday (big MAGA country), and we found that the same block of about 8-12 seats were taken for every showing.

At the Scottsdale theater, the exact same 6 seats are taken for every showing.

Yeah that’s not suspicious.

Some showings had what appeared to be real tickets.

Frankly, I’m surprised anyone wants to see it. Is she like a role model for some people?

I can imagine people going to see it and making sure their review/reaction is publicized, just to curry favor with The Emperor-To-Wanna-Be.

I think a movie with that plot could be very interesting, if fictionalized and done with good writers and cast. It probably would be very depressing, or maybe a slapstick comedy.