The monkey shoots a fish in a barrel thread: Rush Limbaugh claims oil is "as natural as seawater".

[Lobohan]

@A Monkey With a Gun

So I finally got George’s narcoleptic sister Susan back to the shop to wrangle the three legged semi tame racoon into the tube to flush Bob the tailless cat out. But what I neglected to mention is that we were growing a bunch of tomatoes out back and maybe using too much fertilizer. When we get back to the shop, Susan gets in the tube with the three legged cat and then this D and R guy (Department of Natural Resources) shows up to bitch about our plant care. The cat’s screaming, the three legged racoon’s screaming, Susan is screaming at the D and R guy from inside the tube, and I’m laughing. Susan, being a narcoleptic, falls asleep just as Homeland Security shows up. They taze the D and R guy on account of all the nitrates that are out back.

I’m guessing you don’t have a lot of friends, right?

[armedmonkey]

You’re my friend.

[Lobohan]

@A Monkey With a Gun

You’re my friend.

I can’t believe I’m missing Mswas.

[armedmonkey]

Good lord,

Look, this is my point: Anybody who uses the broad political brush to say that “liberals believe X” or “conservatives believe Y” without giving actual examples is using a straw man. Anne Coulter has made a career out of it. Rush has made a career out of it. And Tom Tomorrow… you get the idea.

The people in this thread that are running to the ramparts because I had the temerity to criticize a fucking comic strip are just fucking sad.

[SteveG1]

@Cat_Fight

That’s what I was going to write. Or cyanide. Maybe he can eat a few apple seeds a day to prove his point.

Or quit getting his facts from sappy Dawn commercials.

Maybe Rush can go wading in a tank full of fer de lances. After all, snakes (and their venom) are perfectly natural, so what’s the harm.

Oops, bad idea, the snakes would be the ones getting poisoned.

[digs]

Quick-- somebody else strawman MonkeyMan! I’ve got hear the rest of the story!
Or continue the Tom Tomorrow hijack (which he specifically said he didn’t want to discuss)…

[kaylasdad99]

@digs

Quick-- somebody else strawman MonkeyMan! I’ve got hear the rest of the story!

Nah, it’s just a trick. He’s gonna just keep stringing us along, breaking our hearts, and never letting us know the fate of the poor doggy.

[armedmonkey]

So the DNR guy is twitching on the floor and everyboby is screaming. I’m still laughing, but I stop laughing when the Homeland Security goons start going all taze-happy. They taze George , they taze the llama, and they even taze Joe Don Baker who was hiding in the closet the whole time. There’s electric needles flying all over the damn place.

I did the only thing I could, which was throw a case of Twizzlers in the air. This brings the three legged racoon out of the tube, and his extended family charges in. The coon chaos gives me enough of a distraction that I can pick up the beagle and escape through the side door.

But then I stepped in a gopher hole and lost the beagle.

I tracked him down years later. I don’t know if it was the trauma of the incident or if the little guy thought he was a bitch trapped in a male dog’s body all along, but he… I mean she found some vet in California to perform sexual reassignment surgery. She’s doing well, but maybe too much into the Hollywood acting thing. Even had her own show own HBO. I hear she’s married to Ferris Bueler now.

[SteveG1]

@A Monkey With a Gun

So the DNR guy is twitching on the floor and everyboby is screaming. I’m still laughing, but I stop laughing when the Homeland Security goons start going all taze-happy. They taze George , they taze the llama, and they even taze Joe Don Baker who was hiding in the closet the whole time. There’s electric needles flying all over the damn place.

I did the only thing I could, which was throw a case of Twizzlers in the air. This brings the three legged racoon out of the tube, and his extended family charges in. The coon chaos gives me enough of a distraction that I can pick up the beagle and escape through the side door.

But then I stepped in a gopher hole and lost the beagle.

I tracked him down years later. I don’t know if it was the trauma of the incident or if the little guy thought he was a bitch trapped in a male dog’s body all along, but he.. I mean she found some vet in California to perform sexual reassignment surgery. She’s doing well, but maybe too much into the Hollywood acting thing. Even had her own show own HBO. I hear she’s married to Ferris Bueler now.

Whoa, dude.

What are you smoking/

Can I have some?

[digs]

Probably smoking the Twizzlers…

ps: I have got to work the phrase “coon chaos” into my conversations at some point today.

[Shot_From_Guns]

@elucidator

Credulous, perhaps. Credible?

That’ll teach me to try to post while tabbing in and out.

[digs]

@Shot_From_Guns

That’ll teach me to try to post while tabbing in and out.

[Montgomery Scott] Ah’m tryin’ te git a transporter lock on ye, lad, but yer tabbin’ in and oot… Hang on! We’ll gitcha on board this thread, laddie! [/Scotty]

[Shot_From_Guns]

@digs

[Montgomery Scott] Ah’m tryin’ te git a transporter lock on ye, lad, but yer tabbin’ in and oot… Hang on! We’ll gitcha on board this thread, laddie! [/Scotty]

:dubious: If I get pulled over as a lad, count me out. I’ll stay happily over here in Malapropism Land with all my girly bits properly intact.

[digs]

Sorry-- I think I’m wrong about gender or age with 90% of the posters here. But… you got shot! And you like guns! Aren’t those boy hobbies?

Oh, well, maybe it’s a side effect of having no gay-dar: my gen-dar is faulty, too.

Hey, maybe we should have mandatory “location” AND “gender” fields.

(and “Teabagger?” or “Misses Firefly?” or “Watched Twilight?” or “Finds Rand Rover annoying?” – the really important issues…)

[Shot_From_Guns]

@digs

Sorry-- I think I’m wrong about gender or age with 90% of the posters here. But… you got shot! And you like guns! Aren’t those boy hobbies?

The name is actually a big chain of inside references, ultimately originating here. Sad to say, I’ve never been shot by or from anything or owned a gun.

Hey, maybe we should have mandatory “location” AND “gender” fields.

I would actually be in favor of that. Would save a hell of a lot of misgendering people. (Not that I take it personally.)

(and “Teabagger?” or “Misses Firefly?” or “Watched Twilight?” or “Finds Rand Rover annoying?” – the really important issues…)

1.) Can’t stand teabaggers.
2.) Joss Whedon is like a tiny god.
3.) I actually forced myself to read the Twilight books, just so I could accurately speak about how *disgustingly terrible *they are. Studiously avoided the films.
4.) Not just annoying–I heartily rebuffed his clumsy advances.

[digs]

@Shot_From_Guns

I heartily rebuffed his clumsy advances.

And you, Shotzy, are my new hero.

And, yes, I’m old enough to remember “This is the cereal/that’s shot from guns!” set to the 1812 Overture.

[Una_Persson]

@Una_Persson

Can someone link me to a column published by Rush, book reference, or major news report on video/transcript with the quote attributed to Rush? My searching doesn’t seem to be the best today, and I seem to get circular-references among the usual Liberal Anger Blogs (as well as Conservative Apologist Blogs). Can anyone find an original reference?

I’m trying to find it for Cecil, not because I’m trying to defend Rush or make some sort of veiled political jab.

Regarding this which I asked about earlier: Cecil will be addressing Limbaugh and the subject of bioremediation of oil spills in his 6/18 column.

[digs]

@Una_Persson

Regarding this which I asked about earlier: Cecil will be addressing Limbaugh and the subject of bioremediation of oil spills in his 6/18 column.

Wouldn’t it be great if Rush knew this, and was scared?

Hey, I can dream…

[Rhythmdvl]

@digs

Wouldn’t it be great if Rush knew this, and was scared?

Hey, I can dream…

Well my butcheeks are clenched. Anyone else imagining him mentioning the site on air? Now imagine the influx of Dittoheads to the boards.

{{{{shudder}}}}

[Shot_From_Guns]

@digs

And, yes, I’m old enough to remember “This is the cereal/that’s shot from guns!” set to the 1812 Overture

I’m not.

@Rhythmdvl

Now imagine the influx of Dittoheads to the boards.

I cackle with gleeful anticipation.