The mordified poem

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Guys thanks a lot for the immense feedback.
Here’s my mordified poem.I will be glad to accept suggestions and critical appreciations.

                                       Everest

I stood aghast in the faded light.
Beauty with all its might,
The blue sky blazing bright,
Love at first sight.

Little had I realized
The way you could rein
Every fibre of my being,
Every impulse of my brain.

Lingered by ur magnificance
Lured by your Virginity,
I climbed towards your pinnacle
Jutting miles towards heaven.

I died on the way
With every forwarding step.
Your toxicity never ceased,
My cuts never healed.

My body began to stoop,
My arms paralysed,impaired
My lashes conspired to droop,
Seeking cheeks to sedate.

And Oh! when you embraced me
And welcomed me with joy
As I fell headlong
Into the soft and kind snow.

In you I found life,
In you I found ever rest.

2

Reported for forum change.

3

Arkadeep, please read the forum descriptions before posting. About This Message Board, where you initially posted this, is for concerns about board administration, not poetry.

4

squints quizzically

MODIFIED poem? Is it a modified poem?

5

What does “mordified” mean?

6

“Lingered by ur magnificence”

Really?

7

Well I, for one, am completely mordified.

8

Everest is hardly virginal. More peolple have been up that thing than a $20 hooker in Reno.

9

If it were a better poem, would it have been moved to CS rather than here?

10

Not sure how to address this post as I am not poet and don’t know it, but these two lines kind of caused my eyes to leak tears.

11

Come on. Give a newbie a chance to explain.
My take is Mt. Everest took a life of a loved one, but then poetry/prose has never been my strong point.

12

I’ve heard it said that every poet ought to be drowned at birth.

I’m inclined to agree.

13

Okay, I can see the overall theme here: finding the thrill of life in its final moments. So the end of the poem works.

But unfortunately a lot of the lines leading up to that end were awkward.

14

Just wondering…?
http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Arkadeep_Mitra2

15

Waiting for the OP to respond, I would wonder if it would be less awkward if not being translated to English.

16

MODS…just researching the user-name. Please delete those links as it imposes a privacy issue. Sorry about that. My curiousness exceeded the boundaries.

17

Yeah, if I were the OP, I wouldn’t quit my day job.

18

You guys are so cruel lol.
Not a poetry fan at all myself, but let us not chase him/her off.
I will offer some chords and tempo rhythms. Maybe we can turn this into a Top10 hit!

19

But they’ve killed about the same number of people.

20

“mordified” may be the most poetic thing about the post. It’s appropriate.