The most sadistic practical jokes I ever played...

handing out carmel onions for Trick-or-Treat.

filling a pair of my college roomie’s underwear with frighteningly realistic feces I concocted from common household items and then leaving them on a floor in one of the dormitory bathrooms. Did I mention his name was written on them in laundry marker?

when Playstation 2 first came out demand far outstripped supply, my stepson nagged mercilessly that he wanted one. The neighbors bought one on ebay for $100’s of dollars so their kid could have one for Xmas. Since they were planning on having it hooked up and running when he came down the stairs, I asked if I could have the box. One ziploc bag of enough sand to add weight and some wrapping paper later: One unforgettable Xmas morning.

putting my boss on the mailing list for several porn video company catalogs.

The first one was kind of funny, but this was just plain mean. A kid’s dissapointment is funny to you?

A couple of years back, someone in my husband’s family bought a fake lottery ticket for their elderly grandmother’s birthday. She was eighty five. She actually screamed when she saw she’d won, and it took them a long time to make her understand it wasn’t real. Hilarious. :rolleyes:

I’ve just never saw the humor in working someone up into a state of fear or excitement, and then pulling the rug from under them. It’s mean-spririted.

[1930’s street urchin] Gee, Miss Lissa, I never thought of it that way before.[/1930’s street urchin]

Placing a bunch of already-scratched Lottery Scratch Tickets in a card with a note saying “I bought you Scratch Tickets for your Birthday! Sorry, you didn’t win.”

I gave a friend’s name, number, and address to a notoriously tenacious door-knocking-at eight-in-the-morning religious group.

There’s a fine line that divides humor from sadism, and bragging about concocting a plot to torment and disappoint a child on Christmas morning falls more into into the realm of behavior that’s malevolent and incredibly vile. And you’re bragging on doing this in a thread? Without more context, on the face of it you sound like a borderline psychopath.

Remember the old adage about what happens when you assume? Your assumption that we are talking about a child here falls into that realm.

Recipe, please.

PS: I concur with others’ opinions of your Xmas morning joke. The “$100’s of dollars” you saved is not going to be uppermost in your mind when your stepson sets you on fire in your sleep some day. :dubious:

Borderline psychopath? Chill. It’s not that big of a deal.

In high school we’d buy each other cds at a secondhand place. Then someone got the bright idea to buy really crappy or bizarre cds in the super-discount bin and put them in the case of the actual gift. So, someone hands you the Nickelback disc you wanted but when you open it there’s a Cindy Lauper disc staring back at you (one would eventually get the real cd…eventually). It was really only funny the first few times. After that we just tried to out-do one another with obscure/awful cds.

OK exchange “child” for “person”, the same principle applies. Why you would think it makes a big difference that you would torment and disappoint an adult vs a child in your little theatre of malevolence is strange.

The others were funny, but as folks have been trying to tell you, this just isn’t. It’s mean. Be as defensive as you want about it, it’s still not funny.

My “little theater of malevolence?” I like that. Do I have your permission to use it?

Scumpup, I liked it. Granted, I’m a real bastard. But hey, I smiled.

Astro, you’re going to get angry when you read this next part. You’ve been warned.

One of my friends is a master of sadism when it comes to torturing his kids. EVERY christmas he has a cruel joke to play on them, like the crappy gift in a good box or giving the older girl all the stuff that the middle child wanted. The older child was always in on it since she had gone through many of the same jokes before. One recent year, he bought a ticket for a boy band concert that the middle one wanted sooooo bad. he put it in a box for some huge piece of industrial equipment from his job. But, he slipped it into the layers of cardboard themself, between the corrugated part and the outer layer. On the big morning he told her that the ticket is in the box, all she had to do was find it. She’d been through enough jokes to know it would be easy, but after an hour of unrolling every piece of crumpled newspaper that he used for stuffing, she was sure that the joke was that there was no ticket and foolishly made a bet with him that if there was a ticket in there he could take the youngest child to the concert instead of her. The end of the story is that she lost but he took both her and the youngest child to the concert as was his intention all along.

The next year, he had a “Marine” come by collecting for Toys For Tots and prceeded to give all the middle kids toys (and ONLY the middle kids toys) to charity right in front of her.

I think I’ve already posted the story of my Uncle and his jokes on my aunt. I’ll see if I can find them and link to them.

Correction: “it would NOT be easy”

I’m not angry, I’m just puzzled re your example, why someone would go to such elaborate lengths to torment people who have no power in the situation. This just sounds like the behavior of an incredible asshole, who likes jerking people around. It’s not funny, it’s just kind of sick and more than a little twisted.

What is going through this guy’s head? Sounds like he read some think piece that said “middle children are often neglected” and took it not as a warning, but a recommendation.

It wasn’t that he hated the middle kid. It was just that the oldest had already gone through it and the youngest still has it coming.

I forgot to say specify that the toy giveaway was fake and the only boxes given away were either props or were returned to the pile later.

Or, he didn’t watch enough Brady Bunch.

Marcia Marcia MARCIA!!!



Probably the worst I pulled was the Christmas where, after spoiling my son and nephew rotten with presents, I gave them each a gift wrapped charcoal briquet…

Talk about a turd in a punchbowl…

For what its worth, Scumpup, I laughed.

“Practical jokes” aren’t either.