This was the first thing I thought about on seeing the OP. I also thought about this stupid radio commercial I keep hearing over and over again. It’s about a talk show on a certain station where they answer the “unanswerable” questions. One of their examples is “Why is your husband such an idiot?” I mean, c’mon, this assumes that all men (at least married ones) are morons. If I thought my husband was that big a dumbass, I never would have married him in the first place.
I also hate those commercials that show people doing perfectly ordinary things, screwing them up so badly, then getting a product that will yes, make it easier, but has only one use. One example was this pot that had a spaghetti strainer in the top. It first showed this woman trying to dump just the water our of the pot and accidentally throwing half of the pasta down the sink. She looked up at the camera with this exasperated “Please help me” smile. Then, she was given this ridiculous pot and miraculously never ever spills pasta again.
Any ad where the actors pretend they’re just happening to have a normal, everyday conversation in which the product in question just happens to naturally come up as the central topic.
There’s a car. It’s a perfectly normal silver (it’s always silver) car- the kind you wouldn’t look at twice. Maybe it’s a mid-level luxury car, OK. But the commercial has dudes & dudettes oggling it, and staring at the damn thing as if it’s a Lamborghini or a Maseratiti or something unusual and cool- looking. :rolleyes:
Mad TV did an awesome parody of these, with “Herbal Essentials,” a new version for guys.
I nominate the “tough, smart lawyers” who advertise on daytime TV.
“They’ve got Lawyer X.”
“What’s it gonna take the settle this case?”
I believe the commercial was filmed about 50 years ago, and they just switch around the names as needed.
“Don’t take our word for it–come in and check it out for yourself!”
Gosh, that’s so clever. You play on my self-image as a hard-boiled, cynical consumer to manipulate me into doing what you want. Ooh, you’ve got my number all right! Putzes.
I, too, hate the idiot man-child motif, and the precocious brat motif, especially when it is strategically mispronouncing things ala Family Circus. The sexy-female-executive wearing red and strutting down the corridor/ street tossing her hair around motif is irritating, too.
The “is that sexy person looking at he? Are they waving at ME? Is he/she really coming over to talk to me?!. . . oh, there’s someone else behind me! Aw!” is old.
I hate twins-themed commercials, too.
It was actually for Massengill Douches. I’m a little embarrassed that I know that.
I hate any commercial in which a Governor of New York tells me that some perfectly awful little brat is “a healthy kid.” I know it’s not too common a motif, but it bugs me.
To go along with the dumb guy cliche, any beer commercial where a guy ignores or foregoes a hot girl in favor of beer. Why would that sell more beer? I can’t think of anything more horrifying or pathetic than someone who would actually behave that way.
Any food commercial that makes the food seem sexy, all shiny and glossy and exciting, esp. when they show some woman eating the food and acting like it’s better than sex, double esp. when it’s diet food she’s eating. :rolleyes:
More generally, any commercial where the person (either male or female) ruins their relationship with their spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend because of something stupid like a hamburger or a candy bar (or beer). The only message this sends to me is, “our target audience is people who are selfish and have no sense of priority.”
I was going to post about my burning hatred of Applejacks commercials, but I have not seen one for a while, and the specifics are starting to fade.
One thing I hate, which is also found in movies, is when the someone says something dumb, and the music comes to a screeching halt and then the dog cocks its head quizzically. Arrrrrrrr?
For me it’s car commercials in which they loudly exclaim: “Best in Class!”, “JD Power Award Winner!”, “Best Selling!” etc. Of course there are about 35 different classifications, many of which can be subdivided to the point where there might only be one car in the class! :rolleyes:
A cousin to this phenomonon is the TV Show teaser in which just about every network has the “Best new comedy!”, “Best Drama on Wednesdays!”, “Most Watched Show!” and all sorts of other permutaions which don’t clarify if these are simply quotes from a review, one particular weeks ratings, and what composite of criteria they happen to be using to fulfill the claim.
I think it irritates me as much as it does because I know that so many idiots in the world don’t realize this stuff which means it works.
There’s the “no other X is better than our product.” Still works because people don’t realize that, in order to say that, the FTC requires that all the products in the category work equally well.
Thus if they say “Nothing works faster than Philboid Studge!” what the mean is “Any similar product works just as well as Philboid Studge.”
The latest variation on this are the ads for prescription medications, where the actors chat earnestly about the side effects: “My doctor said it cariied a small risk of halitosis, flatulence, anal leakage, and in rare cases, prehensile rectum syndrome, explosive diarrhea and death…”
Another cliché: Why are all male children in commercials named Billy?
I always get annoyed at the “if you call in the next ten minutes, we’ll throw in another bottle of Blammo absolutely free” bit. Like they’ve got some sort of shot clock at Blammo HQ that resets every time their commercial runs on late night cable.
Similarly, commercials that, if you think about it, make it sound like your customers are idiots…specifically some VW commercials.
“Oh, what was that technology? Makes the wheels that slip send power to the wheels that grip? I shoulda got that.”
GuyOnCellphone: “Hurry! they’ve got the Silver [jetta, stock, bland, jetta, nothing special here] one!” Woman walks out with key. Guy licks the car like he’s marking his territory.
Of course, to make this work, the Woman shoulda licked the key. And the salesman shoulda tasered the GuyOnCellphone.
There’s a certain type of commercial. It MUST be an example in Chapter two of ‘making commercials 101’ in college…Here’s the formula
Woman: Isn’t <stupid non-wacky> situation wacky?
Woman: Well with <non related product> you life will be better better better!
Woman: So buy <product> and don’t be wacky!
Now, mad-lib the formula and come up with 60% of all local radio commercials.
The one line in radio commercials that makes me cringe - I refuse to use it in any of my copy and have been known to fly into a rage if one of my copywriters uses it:
…For all your (plumbing, feminine hygeine, drug, firearm, etc.) needs, call (plumber, drug store, gun shop, etc.)!
Most of my most hated are already taken. The idiot man being treated like a child by his wife/8-year-old daughter.
What I’ve been seeing lately are the “loss of sexual performance” commercials.
I’m not talking about the obvious ones.
Meet Bob. “Bob” is “a limp-dicked fag.” “Bob” can’t please his “nymphomaniac wife” because he has a “limp dick.” Bob took “Stiff-X” and now “Bob” nails his hot wife with his “huge, throbbing man muscle” right in her “tight, throbbing pussy.” And once “Bob” is through with her, “Bob” “fucks the brains out of” every other “hot sex-starved pussy” in the neighborhood.
No, I’m not talking about those. Lately what I’ve been seeing are the other “loss of sexual function” commercials.
“Are you a man? Have you ever had: High blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, cancer, dry skin, dandruff, occasional acne, hair on your arms, smelly farts? These could be symptoms of your loss of sexual function! Consult your doctor!”
Those ‘before/after’ shots of someone who used Brand X Cosmetic Product, where the ‘before’ shot obviously has far inferior lighting and involves the person scowling like a hideous monster.