I don’t buy those anymore, either. 
Oh? In that case I’ll use Nothing [tm], as it’s much cheaper than ZonkMaster. Thanks for the tip.
Whereas your competitors don’t, presumably. Will they chase me away with broomsticks every time I approach their premises?
As distinct from … ?
Which apparently can be induced in the totality of one’s life by solving one minor worry, such as life insurance, data backup, or intimate freshness.
Smurfette
The Blue Man Group’s ladies
The Women’s Auxiliary of the Guardians of the Universe
Dr. Manhattan’s current SO
That chick from Farscape
My favorite is when the car is driving at excessive speed over snow packed roads, but since it’s a 4 wheel drive car, there is no fine print. They act like tooling around at 50mph on unplowed roads is a perfectly safe thing to do, when it’s really a hell of a lot more dangerous than the winding road trip they caution you about.
Really, any 4wd ad where they act as though one can completely ignore inclement weather. You should still drive cautiously, no matter how many traction bells and whistles you have, the basic physics of friction and inertia will never change.
If you hate “In a world,” You’ll love this trailer.
Pablo Fransisco? Shiny.
“A Robot-Renegade Cop…” I’m dyin’ here…
That commercial where this car is drving thru snow and boys (hooligans, all) are pelting the cars with snowballs–
BUT
They don’t hit, nay, CANNOT hit the car that is for sale in the commercial. It is such a cool car that young vandals cannot touch its redoubtable essence of suavity.
:rolleyes:
And, more generally, those commercials that either lower the volume so that you strain to hear or increase the volume so that you have to turn it down.
And those that make all older folks look like fools. I know plenty of stupid older folk, but come on! Not all senior citizens are crabby old coots who dress funny and have permanently sour expressions on their faces…
And please stop with the gaggably cute babies for diapers–and stop making the babies pee out blue fluid.
What IS that stuff?
And stop referring to blood as “protein stains”.
There was an ad a ways back that made the diapers part of the damned fairy tale–are ad execs ALL on acid?
I loathed the Ring Around The Collar Ads–as my mother used to say: why not have your husband wash his damned neck?
Now I’m all wound up…
Along with the “dumb family guy”, the ones that specifically say, Moms, you’ll love this for your kids, or Dr. Mom. It may still be the minority, but there are dads that are the main caregiver to the children.
protein stains=semen
Seriously, there was a Man Show sketch about a detergent that washed out a son’s “protein stains” from his socks, underwear, and sheets. I assumed they made up that ad euphemism as a part of the gag (in fact, I’m sure of it since that IS the gag), and never heard it anywhere else. What ad did you see that said “protein stains”? I’ve heard “blood stains” plenty of times on TV so I know that TV ads aren’t shy about saying that. Maybe those “protein stains” you heard about were from semen…
If I were the customer coming out with the sales rep - “You were going to wash the car before I took it anyway, right?”
It seems that every ad agency with a pharmaceutical client has decided that they need to create a CGI representation of the germ their client fights. So now we have CGI toenail fungus, CGI pollen, CGI migraine headaches, and…god help me…CGI mucus.
Minor hijack.
Some years back Steve Martin (I think it was) had a TV special that was a whole series of satires of well-known commercials. The only one I really remember was a send-up of the famous “Mean” Joe Green Coke commercial.
For those too young to remember, a kid follows “Mean” Joe Green (football player), who is limping down the tunnel towards the locker room after a particularly bruising game. Kid asks if Joe needs any help, since he looks like he’s just been hit by a truck. Joe says no and keeps lurching onward. Kid says “want my Coke?” Joe gratefully accepts the bottle and swigs most of it down in one gulp. The kid turns around and starts to head out. Joe calls out after him and tosses him his jersey. “Wow! Thanks, Joe!”
The version on this program I saw was basically the same scenario, just set in Japan. With a sumo wrestler. Let your imagination fill in the rest.
I laughed by ten year-old ass off.
The cliche that annoys me is the fascination ad men have with baby butts. Why is it considered cute to show a toddlers ass hanging out of the backflap of the long johns?
Also, I hate it when the family pet, usually a puppy, is all excited about the product that the family has just brought home.
It’s also strange when two people have to do the job side by side and one of them uses brand X while the more attractive one uses New and Improved Name Brand. At a laundromat, this is plausible, but not when two people are cleaning the same sliding door or mowing the same lawn.
A variation of the guy vs girl cliche is the guy vs guy cliche. The one where the guy using the advertised product comes out the clear winner and the ad clearly establishes that use of the product resulted in a definate superiority of machismo.
There’s one running now for one of the pain relievers (Advil or Excedrin maybe) where the poor ignorant one is wincing from some pain. The bright informed one produces an unopened box of the item (as if freshly shoplifted off the shelf at the store) and asks the ignorant if they have tried whatever-it-is.
-
If I open some product for my own use, I rarely return it to the box it came in.
-
I don’t carry unopened boxes of pain relievers when I’m out jogging or mowing the yard on the off chance somebody will happen along with a backache.
Era Plus had that whole “protein gets out protein” ad campaign. And “The Cleaning Power of Protein”. I think it was back in the 80s.
Blood is also protein–no matter what, barring Klingons or whathaveyou–none of us excrete blue fluid…
X-TREME!!!1 anything. Time to find a new catchword.
I hate the mock interview commercial; hear this one on the radio mostly: “Hi, I’m Joe Doanythingforabuck, and I’m here with Tom Youveneverheardofmebefore, inventor of the great new way to lose weight/enlarge your penis/not be a loser/raise your child. Tom, tell us about the product…”
Sometimes they even do the interview over the phone, because that shows that the inventor is far too busy working hard to bring you a top notch product than show up for the 30 second spot.
Any exercise equipment or gym commercial that shows amazingly fit people in skimpy clothing working out on their machines, as if using their machine or belonging to their gym will be all you need to look like that. The last one I saw was some woman in a skimpy purple bikini claiming to be a 50 year old grandmother who owes her entire look to tugging on a Bowflex for 20 minutes a day, and not her plastic surgeon (assuming she’s not lying about being 50).
I channel-blocked OLN to get that taut harridan out of my livingroom. She has to be on 60% of their commercials. Die, grannie, dieeeeeeeee!!