The website despair.com got me thinking about what might be the most uninspiring quotes ever. The best i can come up with is
“Every day of your life, your entire future lays ahead of you.”
this day is the first day of the rest of your life
“Every day you wake you are one day closer to death”
Yep, that’s got me so inspired to go do great things with the little time I have left.
A noble heart embiggins the soul
Cornflakes, please.
-Me, this morning
“Denny’s–A Good Place to Sit and Eat.”
Pointy-haired Boss: “I’ve hired a motivational speaker from the Discount Speakers Bureau to give a presentation to you.”
Speaker: “Work harder, or you might get fired. Any questions?”
Dilbert: “But our hard work will lead to bonuses and promotion opportunities, right?”
Speaker: “This must be the slow class.”
The scene in The Natural where this little guy is addressing the team and going on with something like
“Losing is like a disease…” (or whatever he actually says)
Definitely uninspiring
“The only thing certain in this world is death and taxes”
by good old Ben Franklin.
“They say half of marriages end in divorce. You think that’s bad? The other half end in death!”
– George Carlin
Maybe not uninspiring, but kinda reverse-inspiring:
“I shall not rest until all of Germany sees that it is a shameful thing to be a lawyer.” -Adolf Hitler
“You did a great job!”
“You did as well as you possibly could have.”
“You got straight As!”
No room for improvement. You can’t go anywhere but down.
Makin’ fun a Jebediah Springfield, that’s a paddlin.
Misspelling embiggens, that’s a paddlin.
my quote:
“slow and steady wins the race”
-not if fast and steady is present.
Oh, that one’s great! I’m surprised it’s in a doctors office though. It sounds like something a lawyer or banker would put up.
It’s okay to have low self-esteem if everything you do is wrong.
Wherever you go, there you are.
In the middle ages, at the height of one of the various plagues, a bunch of villagers went to their priest and asked for words of wisdom to guide them through their troubles. Fresh out of inspiration, he said, “In life, we are in death.”
" I did not have sex with that woman…Ms. Lewinsky."
Bill, buddy, I voted for you. I think you’re a great President. But I knew you were lying the minute it came out of your mouth.
“What a terrible thing it is to lose one’s mind.” Dan Quayle, addressing the NAACP and mangling its motto.
Man, I love that quote!
My contribution is from the esteemed Mr. Justin Timberlake as seen on (Weird) AL TV.
“If you give 150% you’ll always get 100%.”
No fears friends, it was appropriately derided by Mr. Yankovic.
Ah, but which of the two movies are you quoting? 
My choice:
“You’ve got to learn when to hold 'em
Learn when to fold 'em
…
And the best you can do is to die in your sleep.”
What’s amazing is that people think that load of crap song is inspirational.
You can never go back but you can always return
You need never be alone if someone is with you
He who casts no shadow knows no shame
The dog that bites you may have its reasons
A short man on horseback can look down on a tall man on the ground
A fool has no business inside a balloon
Give a dog a bad name and he’ll like it as well as Fido
The honking goose is soon spotted
If a man is hungry he will eat
Rain before sunset, dark before midnight