Not all threads are required to have a purpose or a point. We even have a whole forum called Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS, pronounced EM puh sims. Yes we have had a thread on that). A thread should have some utility, however, even if it is entertainment only.
There are threads, however, that are absolutely useless. They don’t even rise to the level of time wasters. They are - well, nothing. Even soul sucking could be considered useful to those who are into that.
This is not so much about the poster themselves, although I put it in the Pit because I know there is a high likelihood of that occurring. Heaven knows there may have been a time where I myself was the OP of a useless thread. Unlikely, but possible.
“Newbie with odd relationship issue” threads are rife with this, and my opening contribution to the list is the anti-classic “Girlfriend goes to Cuba…” thread in the aforementioned MPSIMS. Nothing useful, not entertaining, not believable - a true black hole of internet space.
Are there worse examples?
[sub]NOTE: the first person to nominate this thread is an unimaginative, mouth breathing, wildebeest licking dipthong (sounds so dirty!)[/sub]
The horror! The photo on the left really is a deeply offensive stereotypical image.
I used to think the hula doll was fine though. I bought one similar to it for my daughters in Hawaii because I liked the hula dancers but I know now that I was just participating in the oppressive patriarchy for doing that (damn you gift shops!!!). I am not sure how anyone can live there with all of the real-life hula dancers giving performances to celebrate their culture every day. How offensive and demeaning!
Even had I not expressly outlined the penalty for such insolence, I submit that a thread warning against useless threads is useful under the category of “informative”.
By the way, I think you missed a spot on the wildebeest. Please continue licking.
This thread title in GD is so stupid, I refuse to dignify its existence by clicking on it.
Are meat-eaters really more cruel than vegetarians?
Just the title alone is packed with so much bleeding-heart paroxysms and unneeded drama, it’s not even laughable. It’s a suppurative blemish that somebody considered attractive and wanted to show off. It serves no other purpose.
The moment she started speaking, I wanted it to stop. Thank God I wasn’t in his position. “Being unable to dance like her is not a class protected from discrimination.”
“If it offends you, close your eyes.”
“Your voice offends me, please shut up.”
et cetera
I try to be socially conscious and often fail, sometimes spectacularly. But things like this frustrate me, because at this point I have no idea what could possibly acceptable.
Shit. I’ve always been saying EM pee sims. And you know what? I’m not going to stop. And by the way, Jiff is a peanut butter. Gif is a short repeating video.
BTW, since the G in .gif stands for Graphic, you can call it a Jiff but then you have to try to always say *Jrafic *(did the Jurrafic come before the Jerkretaceous epoch?)
I’ve always pronounced the abbreviation as “Em Pee Simms” too; I figure it conjures up images of a futuristic German submachine-gun; likely firing pulse munitions or something else requiring a cool acronym-y designation like “SIMS”.
Just to explain the joke, “MP” is the German military designation for “Submachine Gun” (literally Maschinenpistole; ‘machine-pistol’); think MP-40 or MP-5.
I can’t provide a link, because I’m on my tablet, and the thread is locked, but:
If you go on advanced search, enter the poster name “cladking”, and search for all posts in ascending order, you will find his debut post on the subject, which he harped on for nearly seven months before flouncing off, apparently insulted that nobody tried to talk him out of leaving us.
This guy has a claim to fame, btw. Rationalwiki name-checks him on their “List of well-known cranks” article.