The "My bumpy transition into adulthood" MMP - and how was yours?

I recently ordered and received a transcript of my college grades—this after over 30 years and so belated due to the fact that I still owed for a student loan that is now finally paid off.

I graduated from High School in 1970, so the transcript covered Fall Semester 1970 through Spring Semester of 1974—a full four years. Oh my, I spent the majority of my time on academic probation. My GPA was below 2.0, I don’t even want to admit how low it got at one point. My declared major was History, in Education at first, then I switched to Arts & Sciences. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I mostly partied. My Freshman year I lived in a traditional dorm. Sophomore year was in the first co-ed dorm on campus – hoo boy! Junior year was especially hard – I moved to a far-flung dorm that was sparsely populated; I had a two-person room all to myself! There I came closest to flunking out completely, but then I discovered yoga, and a young man who taught it.

I started doing yoga which triggered a better attitude towards my academic studies. I began to buckle down and take things more seriously, which was a good thing. I got a job on campus in one of the dining halls so I had spending money. I got more and more into the yoga too though, and went so far as to become a vegetarian. By my senior year, first semester I was in a woman’s studies dorm but second semester I had moved into the yoga ashram. My parents didn’t freak out, though; in fact, it was less money to live in the ashram off campus. But at the end of my senior year, the ashram packed up and moved to New Haven, CT. And I just dropped school completely and moved as well. Although not to New Haven but rather to Princeton, NJ.

After spending a year in Princeton’s ashram, where I cleaned houses for $20/day, I asked to spend some time at a larger ashram in Washington DC, where there was a restaurant that I could work in. The original plan was to go back to Princeton in a couple of months, but that didn’t work out. For a year or so, I just rolled with the plan, working in the restaurant and becoming a Sikh, but then I started having problems with my teeth and needed dental work, expensive and extensive dental work. I was scrambling to find a way to pay, but there was none. My parents weren’t wealthy and couldn’t lend me the money. Gradually, I re-assessed my situation and decided that I wasn’t meant to stay in the ashram, so I made plan to leave, which involved counseling with a social worker and finding an actual job, and did it. No one tried to stop me or persuade me to stay; that is how I came to be living in a furnished room, where I stayed for approximately 8 months until I could save up enough for an efficiency apartment.

This is a very shortened version, believe it or not! laughs So how was your transition to “adulthood?”

Recent conversation with my mother, after I’d whined once more about how utterly clueless some of my classmates are about things that they really should know. For example, the girl who’s come straight from a Bachelor’s in Literary Translation looking for a “more practical” program, is surprised that different kinds of materials call for different techniques (extra! extra! The Onion ain’t no Shakespeare!) and doesn’t know what does an editor do.

Mom: well, I’m sure you were in a bubble of happy at that age, too.
Me: at 22?
Mom: oh wait, you’d already been in Miami, right?
Me: no, Mom, I went to Miami at 25. But at 22 I’d already been in Ireland, in New Hampshire, and for two years, at your parents’. Those two break anybody’s bubble of happy.
Mom: oh yes, they definitely do. You need to grow up fast when they’re around.

Add that I coparented my brothers, that for my first two years of high school Dad was a furious and infrequent presence and Mom was too busy being an Important Woman In The Community to actually be a mother, that for the two following years she was bedridden, both were depressed, and I actually managed to not kill anybody and keep the family clothed and fed and the homework for us three done… and no, I wasn’t in any kind of bubble when I was 22. And if memory doesn’t fail me in my old age, I had a pretty clear idea of what kind of duties were involved in the jobs associated with the degree I was studying for.

I guess that part of my problem with the Happily Clueless is sheer envy that my own bubble of happy didn’t survive infancy, much less reach my adult years.

I didn’t really feel like an adult until I was living by myself and starting grad school. My parents have always encouraged me to be independent, but I’d had a comparatively sheltered life until then. Hell, I still feel I’m playing at being an adult, rather than actually being one.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, and I most definitely haven’t grown up yet if Saturday night is anything to go by. And before you ask, I’m definitley keeping those details to myself!

Great OP though, and isn’t it good to finally have those debts paid off?

Being an adult…hmmmm hard to say I am 32 and just spent the weekend visiting my parents and I have to admit I liked being taken care of for a little while :slight_smile:

been out on my own and independent for while but I guess I had quite a smooth trip - I was always a good girl really.

I am sick today - feel yucky, can’t get warm, sore throat and ear ache. Yuck!

However in 11 days I get to see mr ems! :D:D:D

Happy Monday!

I’m an adult?:dubious:

Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’.

Good OP Herbs! It actually sounds like the Ashram was a good time for you.

My transition to grownup was pretty smooth. I was in college on scholarship that I managed to keep even with all the partyin’. I also lived off campus in an apartment that was old but pretty neat and worked 25 - 30 hours a week. I had a roommate who also worked the sam hours at the same place, so we could pay for the place and buy food and beer. So, I guess I transitioned into adulthood while I was in college and I did live on my own. That was a really borin’ story, right? :smiley:

I need brekkie and more caffiene. Back later.

Great OP, tarra. Thanks for getting us started off. Gotta give the topic some thought; I’ll post about it a bit later.

But first…off to work.

Happy Monday?



Herbs, I had such a sordid college career that I did it twice. Never joined an ashram, but I did wind up with a bunch of bible-thumpers for a while.

Rough weekend. Still trying to decide if I’m going to tell the tale.

Great OP! I had a rough transition, as I quit high school and left home when I was 17. I got married :smack: - and divorced shortly after. I ended up going to a trade school, which was a smart move. The only smart move I made back then! Partied and partied and partied some more, married again, had a kid, and finally grew up some at 26. By thirty I finally felt like I was a grown-up. :slight_smile: And got married again. :wink:

Happy Monday. Blurf.

Eh, I don’t want to be a downer so I’ll just say no comment.

Lazy morning today. No work until tomorrow.

In terms of drinking age, yes. Any other terms are at the user’s convenience.

Hmmmm, being second oldest of six kids with a parent who had many health issues, I guess I became an adult early on. Still, I didn’t leave home until I was 21 to go to school in Boston in 1969. Wow, was that an eye-opener! :smiley: I don’t think I really felt like an adult until I had my first child. Suddenly I was directly responsible for her well-being. That’s about the most adult thing I’ve done in my life.

Weird weekend here in Flawduh. I’m sure you all heard about our shootings. My daughter works for FDLE downtown and they put her building on lockdown. Boy child lives downtown and 911 was reverse-calling people to stay in their homes. I am glad they found the guy before he did even more harm. I am afraid there will be even more of these events as people start to crack from all the pressure of the economy and world situation.

Now we are looking at a very late storm about to hit the panhandle. :rolleyes: Make it stop!


I don’t like to think about those years. I didn’t want to go to college, as I hated school, but my parents insisted. I wanted to go to a smaller school, preferably out east, but my folks told me that unless I could get into the same one my brother was in, no dice. Did I mention that my brother was a straight A student, and was at Holy Cross? I didn’t stand a chance.

So, Huge State University for me. My freshman year was a haze - I didn’t understand what was happening to me, I just wanted to die. Much later I could look back and realize that I was developing SAD, becoming lactose intolerant, and starting to come to grips with being a lesbian. All I knew at the time was that I was always asleep, sick, or confused. Failed a bunch of classes. Failed to kill myself, too.

I don’t think that anybody should go right from high school to college - you need to find out what you want from college, first.

Home with the flu today. Ems, it started out with a sore throat and ear ache…

I’ve been working lots of OT in my new position, so I’m not able to read this thread most days. I’ll try to keep up today, though!

I don’t really know that there was a definitive point at which I transitioned into adulthood. I had a fairly odd childhood, beginning quite young, which involved parent separating in my first few years of life and me being an only child, and then moving around from town to town (up and down the dial), apartment to apartment, school to school. Some of those times were spent staying with friends of my father because he couldn’t afford to look after me full time. So I never really had anything resembling a stable childhood, which resulted in an unstable youth that extended into what may only technically be classified as my adult life.

In a nutshell, I dropped out of school halfway through grade 10 (a decision I’d periodically come to regret), spent time bumming around and living at home not doing much, just the occasional part-time or full-time job, and mostly noodling around my computer programming and stuff, never truly doing anything of import. One of my friends convinced me to get a student loan and go to college with him – a technical college – to take programming so we could make a career out of it. Went to one, didn’t like the school (it truly wasn’t taught very well), switched to a different fast-track college with a streamlined curriculum that focused on our majors, and ultimately dropped out of that because switching schools like that mid-semester ultimately tapped out our student loans.

After that it was simply the work force from that point on. Although I’m now working at a decent job with decent pay, it’s not a career, and I’m only just now taking that into my own hands and trying to break myself away from the shackles of employeedom and into my own self-made career.

Technically I passed into adulthood some 20 years ago, but mentally, I think a case could be made that I’ve only really grown up over the last five years or so. My childhood wasn’t particularly happy, but my long term situation was such that I was afforded plenty of opportunity – and latitude – to try and reclaim whatever happy I missed out on as a kid by carrying immaturity, irresponsibility, and a complete lack of discipline into adulthood for as long as I could.

[Tommy Chong] Whoa. That was a bummer, man. [/Tommy Chong]

On a good note the weather has been (and continues to be) ridiculously awesome for this time of year. S’posed to hit 18° today (65F Amurican, or $19 at current exchange rates) which is pretty sweet – a late Indian summer, perhaps.

Nothin’ too exciting happening otherwise, just Moar Werk for a Monday. Bleh. 'Least I’m properly caffeinated for it.

Hmm… I guess I didn’t have to comment. Other than the lesbian part, I’d say there are many striking similarities to my life.

Morning. Boring college/transition-to-adulthood story here. I was always a responsible kid so I went to college, worked hard, did well, went off and got a job. I did quit that first job after a year and went back to grad school, perhaps foolishly just because I hated the job. Then I found out that I hated grad school as well. I was supposed to be working on a Ph.D. but was ready to drop out. Fortunately, I met with the right professor/adviser (not my adviser) who said, “Well, you have enough credits for a Master’s… why don’t we get teh paperwork going for you to get that before you leave.” So really good deal for me. But that was it, no big stories.

Over the weekend I made challah for the first time. It’s yummy.

I’m with Dogbutler!:smiley:
My brother was 11 years older than me so I sort of grew up old. I not only got hand-me-down clothes but some hand-me-down friends of his as well. His best friend through high school was one of my Daytona Bike Week friends 10 years later. I started working for relatives when I was about 8 and I enjoyed work – be it the standard paper route or fixing beer trucks. Still do enjoy working and getting things done. Went to college and did something few ever did or will - paid for it myself and mostly in cash.

But “adult”? I’ll drive 350 miles for a free concert, I can name more amusement parks than most folks can celebrities, and the last time I put on a tie was early in Clinton’s first term. I got this warped version of Peter Pan happening where I can be responsible and then just change gears on the fly without a stutter or pause. So maybe I’ve been an adult all my life or I’m never going to be an adult - just depends on the day and time we cross paths.

I think my rough transition was a couple years post-college, when I suddenly became the executor of a will and estate.

The house is even emptier now. Some of our Faire friends swarmed the house and got the first POD filled. Our few remaining bits of furniture are staged in the garage to go into the second POD which comes tomorrow. We’re just moments away from living on bridge chairs and either eating at restaurants or off paper plates.

QFT. I wish someone had told me this when I graduated from high school.

I think I became an adult the day I wrote out my first rent cheque. That was the day I officially cut myself off from The Bank Of Mom And Dad, because they were totally against the idea of me moving in with my BF. So I hitched up my socks, found my first Real Job selling tweeny fashion at the mall, and jumped right into the deep end.

I’d been really sheltered up til then. I’d been living in residence for a couple of years, ever since my folks had packed up and moved to the East Coast when I was just 19, but they’d still taken care of my tuitition and my residence and all my expenses, so I’d still been living my protective bubble.

It was a bit of a bumpy ride. The BF and I had residual issues from a brief breakup, and things didn’t go so well between us once the shiny newness of playing house wore off (we ended up breaking up again a year after we moved in together). On top of that, I’d been officially diagnosed with depression a few months earlier, and it had become pretty apparent that I had made a mistake when I picked my university major. I only needed a handful of credits to graduate, though, so I decided to slog through one last year as a part-time student to make up for courses I’d failed and walk out with my BA.

Long story short… as rough as that first few years were, I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I had to learn to fend for myself, and even though it was rough as hell, I think I came out of it as a responsible, mature, self-sufficient adult. I learned that money doesn’t grow on trees, that there’s no such thing as a Housework Fairy (or a Dinner Fairy, for that matter), that rent money always takes precedence over beer money, that True Love doesn’t necessarily conquer all, and that stupid childish drama isn’t worth losing a friend over.

In retrospect, I’d probably have done some things differently and I might not have burned as many bridges as I did, but I tend to have a habit of always doing things the hard way. :stuck_out_tongue: