Of course not. The out of shape people ate it. Actually, that theme beats the standard one, which seems to be that every one in a gym is in perfect shape.
There’s an ad that’s been playing nearly every commercial break for a couple of months on several cable channels that I enjoy, like Discovery. It’s for Scott Donahoo Ford, and he’s wearing a red suit and has a phony band and is destroying while parodying James Brown’s “I Feel Good.” The most aggravating part of the ad? The two stupid young female eye candy whose sole job in the commercial is to stand in the back, scantily dressed, and wiggle along with the music. They can’t even wiggle in time! It drives me fucking NUTS. It’s not on YouTube or I’d inflict it on all you good people, too.
I still hate that PediaSure ad with the little bratty girl who won’t eat actual food. MamaTigs, if I’d acted like that, I’d have had a sore butt courtesy of you, and it would have been well deserved.
I’m developing a real hate for ads where men are portrayed as completely useless at any household chore. It’s not the 1950s!
With the X Games coming on ESPN in a few weeks, they are heavily promo-ing it-with some ranting insulting robot thing who sounds like Danny DeVito. First few times I heard it I thought he was selling the X-Box. And he was some issue with a guy named Brian Deegan-like I’m supposed to know who that is.
There are truly tasteless ads for “herbal purges” on both radio and TV that state that “everyone” has up to 30 lbs. of debris in his/her colon that “lines the walls like spackle” and once the miracle purge gets it all out, the user will lose weight.
Anyone who stayed awake for 30% of high school biology would know that if the colon is “spackled”, the stuff should block the absorption of water and the “spackled” one should be dead of dehydration. And wouldn’t BETTER absorption of nutrients by the colon mean that MORE fattening substances should be entering the body and that the purgee should GAIN WEIGHT?
BTW, my wife got a colonoscopy recently. The “prep” medication didn’t dislodge any spackle. Nor did the prescription non- “all-natural”( presumably inferior to the OTC “all-natural” stuff in the ads) prep leave any behind.
I do NOT want to see anybody gargle, I do NOT want to see anybody spit, I do not want to see closeups of people’s sweat, and I really do NOT want to take a good, close, right-in-the-eye look at the inside of anybody’s mouth. I don’t care what the mouthwash does and I don’t care how hot it is outside. You gross me out and I will not buy your product.
Oh, and when you’re puffing off your luxury cars? Don’t tell the that the car “informs you to <sic> avoid the next exit” or “suggests that there will be powder at Aspen tomorrow”, when it’s late July, I live in New Jersey, and I think skiing is something people do where they pay money to tie two sticks to their feet and hurl themselves over a snow-covered cliff! And the car does not “recommend the steak at the Boulevard”; it passes on a paid advertisement or some up-scale review, thank you very much.
The sheer attempt at snob-appeal in these ads is pretty revolting.
J. G. Wentworth, in their frenzied contest with Geico and freecreditreport.com to craft the most annoying commercial in the history of space-time, has just one-upped the competition. They now have some opera singers, in full costume, singing, “Call J. G. Wentworth! 877-CASHNOW!” Cmon Geico! Have the gecko look for a good insurance deal in the bunghole of one of the cavemen, all while Tiny Tim sings about his quest, and the award switches back to you.
Still don’t get why an ad campaign which would only appeal to the 1/10,000th of the audience which is receiving cash payout is so ubiquitous…
In a new category, “Creepiest Print Ad”, I nominate the Discovery Channel Shark Week ads in Entertainment Weekly, where the nerd has a mouthful of shark teeth. CREEEEEEPY!!!
I saw one with Jack’s mother, who is a perfectly normal-looking woman. She’s trying to make him feel guilty for some reason or another (maybe not calling her often enough? I can’t really remember). Anyway, she says to him, “You know, yours was a very difficult birth.”
There’s one that I’m almost sure nobody else on this board will have heard. It’s played by a local AM radio station, and the spokesman - a guy with a loud, booming voice - is the host of the evening rush hour talk show.
It’s for a foundation-repair company (you’d be shocked at how many foundation repair companies advertise on AM radio…) and the first half of the commercial is the host spouting off all these technical terms about steel pillars versus other types of support. Suddenly, they double the volume of the microphone and add one of those cheesy “echo” effects when he bellows, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS???” No, I really don’t. Nor do I care.
Well, the host then concedes neither does he. Thing is, I think I’d be fine with that, if that’s where the commercial ends. A little obnoxious, yeah, but no more so than the multitude of commercials on the radio. But, no. He continues, spouting off more technical terminology and then adding, “That’s what makes them the best.” And that is when my head explodes, each and every time I hear it on the radio. (Yes, apparently, I’m “Jeebs” from Men in Black)
You just admitted you have no idea what in the hell you are saying, you bombastic ass, so how in the name of all things good and pure do you know they are the best?
One of the newer Verizon ads has this guy video conferencing with his girlfriend who can only say “Who’s my cuddlebear?” in baby talk. The guy says he’s late for a meeting, closes the laptop and as soon as he hits the street his cell phone rings and we hear “Who’s my cuddlebear?”. She must be really hot in the sack because I can’t see why anyone would put up with someone this annoying and clingy. I want to leap through the TV and hunt her down and kill her. Even annoying Verizon Stalker guy looks like he wants to kill her. If you have someone like this in your life I think you’d want a wireless company with poor service and frequent call drops.
Thank you for this thread. It reminds me how glad I am that I cancelled my cable-TV service.
From now on, if I really want TV, I’ll stick up an antenna and run it into one of those tuner dongles that plug into my computer. But that would require paying money to buy the antenna and dongle, so I… haven’t.
This is a print ad, but I still hate it and I’ve only seen it once.
Down the road from my house is a barbecue joint. In the parking lot of the joint is a couple of guys selling watermelons from the back of a truck. They put up a sign half a mile up the road advertising this fact. The sign says
SAVE FOOD
EAT A WATERMELON
Mostly on the floor in crumbs, surrounding me in a little circle.
Whenever I eat one of those, more seems to end up on the floor than in me. And that’s even when using a plate!
I wondered about that too. But then, look at the ads we see every day that are aimed at similarly tiny percentages of the well-heeled. Like “Equinaire”, a company that will “do all the work” of managing one’s many properties. I’d really been losing sleep over that problem (yeah, right). Or overseas airlines touting first class service to other continents (or heck, business class service, even). People like that are such a small percentage at the top of the economic heap, that you’d think such commercials wouldn’t be necessary, but it would seem they get results.
.
I’m sick of the entire genre of commercials where the husband is hopelessly immature and/or daft and the wife is no-nonsense and parental, often bordering on harpy. Jesus Fucko, come up with some new gags.
I remember a particularly offensive new-car ad (and I can’t remember the make, which tells you something) in which the shiny new car being advertised passes other cars, which crumble to dust. Good old competitor derogation. Doesn’t that make ya wanna go out and buy that car, so you can destroy all other makes that exist? Talk about a one-way street… :mad:
Okay, I know this post is from ages ago, but this commercial is soooo annoying. On top of the roommate/‘friend’ being a complete psychopath, there is also this dialogue:
Crazy roommate: Does it cost a lot to insure?
Sane roommate: No, I went with Nationwide.
Crazy: Huh, I didn’t know they did that.
Didn’t know they did that? WTF? It’s an insurance company - they sell insurance. Yet somehow, you don’t know that they sell insurance? What the hell did you think they do?! It makes no sense! Grrr.
Yes, and do you not think that maybe the person whose car is being assaulted might, oh I don’t know, want to know? Yes, she saved $500 on her insurance. (what the hell does that mean, anyway?) She’s still going to be in for whatever her deductible is, and one hell of a lot of inconvenience at absolute best. And here, the speaker is just going on calmly, never so much as giving a hint of what’s happening. I’ll tell you; if it were my car, that person would never be sipping MY coffee again!