I kind of remember that one from the past but when it was shown last night, he was requesting a business flight, yada, yada, but after pulling out the kitten card, the CSA summons security and he’s told to “Come with us, sir.” What?!?!
Not offensive really but it creeps me out so bad that I must avert my eyes until I can reach the remote to change the channel. I’m talking about the Pedicure commercial (or something like that) for clipping pets nails. All that talk about cutting to the quick just makes my skin crawl.
Speaking of mouth open commercials, what the hell was up with the rental car commercial a few months ago where the customer and the desk clerk were stretching their grimy yobs wide open with music apparently coming out to indicate that their rental cars came with XM satellite radio? Gross and a complete turnoff.
There’s been a series of those annoying “anticipation”-type ads in the metro – you know, where they have one or more ads with no indication of what the product is, to make you curious so you pay attention when they finally replace them with ads that mention the product. Anyway, this was big blank billboards with a little blue shape on them and some sort of irritation written on them – “having to bring work home,” “having a song stuck in your head,” etc. One of them was “having to wash dishes at minimum wage,” and already I was thinking One of these things is not like the others.
Anyway the ads turned out to be for Bell, and in the followup, each annoyance was listed with whatever feature of their fancy new phones would supposedly palliate the annoyance: e.g. “having to bring work home… and working on the balcony with wireless internet,” and so forth. The tagline is “la vie est Bell” (a pun on “life is beautiful”).
The one for “having to wash dishes at minimum wage” was “with over 2 million downloadable songs” on their fancy-ass cellphone. First of all, who do you know who’s working at minimum wage who can even afford a cellphone like that, and what minimum wage job lets you listen to music while you do the dishes? When I was busting suds at the Dairy Queen, I could barely afford food let alone a cellphone. And being a food service drone is not my idea of a ‘minor annoyance.’ So clueless.
We can stream CNN on our computers at work, so I usually have it in the background, low volume so no one else can hear it, but it drowns out incidentals in the office.
Vonage buys a lot of time on CNN. I am so sick of the “phone company” guy and the smug Vonage bitch and their inane exchange. Just for that commercial alone, I wouldn’t change my phone service. Heck, just thinking about the ad makes me want to hurt someone!
The current one for Circuit City, where the saleskid is watching some pop star’s video and murmuring, “Wow, that what’s-her-name is so…” and then the girl comes up and he switches gears quickly, “Talented!” Then she agrees that the star is talented and hot, and saleskid says, “Yeah, and we sell all this stuff so you can listen to her music…”, her dad walks up, kid switches gears, “After you finish studying, of course!” This kid is such a pathological lying sleazebag, he can’t even finish a simple innocent sentence without turning into Eddie Haskell. Creep.
Hey, don’t mess with that guy with a picture of kittens on his credit card. Piss him off too much, and he’ll have his space battlestation pull into orbit and reduce your entire planet to a smoking crater.
A man in a hardhat discovers that his feet have become stuck, hardened in concrete, and calls for help over his walkie-talkie. Bull-dozer or other random heavy-equipment comes sailing by, tells him everyone else has switched to Verizon for both phone and “touch to talk” (which I assume is the same as walkie-talkie), shows off a large mass of the Verizon staff following him around, ends by saying “You’re equipment is useless now. Oh, be careful. That’s cement.” and drives off. Stuck man just looks frustrated and chucks his walkie-talkie away, to the cringes and helpless looks of the apparently impotent Verizon workers following the driver around to support his stupid phone.
I’d be screaming after him “No shit! Get me out of the damned concrete, and then we’ll worry about what fucking communication equipment to use! Get back here, you idiot!” All that ad did was to convince me that Verizon customers were jerks who liked lording it over non-customers better than they liked actually getting work done. Nice job, guys.
There is a spot for an organization called www.letcaliforniaring.org , whose website advocates permission of same-sex marriages.
In the commercial, a bride seems to be a walking ad for Murphy’s law; she gets disheveled, deliberately tripped, and finally shunned by her prospective groom. The caption reads, “suppose you couldn’t marry the person you wanted?”
What analogy is there between a major societal taboo and a bride having a “bad hair day”?
It doesn’t look like she’s shunned by her prospective groom. It looks like he tries to go help her, but is restrained by his groomsmen.
Also, I don’t think the point is “What if people with bad hair couldn’t marry who they wanted?”. It’s just that there are various obstacles all conspiring to disrupt her wedding/prevent her from getting married.
Any of the Fruit of the Loom commercials with the singing fruit. Stab!
There is a Juicy Juice commercial where a kid is saying he likes broccoli but hates “cawwots” and “aspawagus” and … No, it is not cute seeing a kid with a speech impediment.
Oh, Thank you! I have been debating mentioning that commercial myself! It annoys me because the things that happen to the bride are so minor, that if it were me, I would be cracking up laughing. Door breaks, car blocking your way so you have to pick up your dress, heel breaks, veil gets ripped off your hed (actually that might hurt, so I guess thats okay). But if that’s the worst thing that happens to you in your marriage, you are lucky!
And the tagline is silly - They can still get married, they are both there! Nothing is preventing them. I suppose if the cops came and arrested one of them, then it would make sense. But if you are completely defeated by a few little mishaps, you shouldn’t be getting married in the first place!
There’s a new commercial out for Sprite that absolutely creeps me out. There’s an outdoor neighborhood basketball court and, as guys jump on/shoot baskets, whatever, as they hit the “ground”, it turns into water/a pool. Kind of cool, one would think. Uh, uh…my mind automatically follows through to what would happen to their bodies as they hit actual concrete. I have to look away. I can’t make my brain stop it! Didn’t explain that very well, but, if you’ve seen the commercial, maybe it makes sense!
There’s a commercial on late night free cable about a tiny fingertip vibrator from the maker of Trojan condoms in which two young women are sitting in a public place and are not being particularly quiet about their wanting the vibrator ,what they want to do with it, etc.
When one woman asks the other how to obtain this vibrator, an old crone who, like everyone in the same zip code as these two, couldn’t help overhearing the conversation, pipes up “On their website”, and with a disturbing leer adds, “It’s how I got mine.”
What’s more disturbing than thinking about Mom and Dad having sex? The thought of Granny Goodwitch and a vibrator!!
I hate the latest offering from Hotels.com–the one where two guys are creating a “jacuzzi” for the guy in the tub by blowing into the bathwater with straws. BLEARRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
There’s this ad I get over internet radio where they talk about “my wife decided to get a breast procedure” and keep on blathering about different kinds of aesthetic surgery as “the procedure.”
It sort of makes me want to go on a lobotomy rampage on the writers. It’s surgery! Changing its name will NOT change the fact that it involves anesthetics, sharp objects and a real risk to your health.
Oh, and twenty-five me on any aesthetics ad (from surgery to cellulite creams) claiming that they’ll help you find the real you.
There’s a little cottage industry built around colon cleansing. Among some health extremist (that sounds nicer than nut) there is a belief that this spackle is a substance referred to as mucoid plaque. Google mucoid plaque to learn more.