'The New School Prayer'

The BBQ Pit
1

Today at school, I saw the following poem posted near the phone booth and in the bathroom, where I ripped it off the wall and folded it for later use. I found it a bit offensive, and completely untruthful. Here it is:

OK, so now I’m gonna rip some holes in this piece of crap.

For one thing, prayer in school - personal prayer - is not illegal. If teachers are leading students in prayer, however, it is illegal, in the public schools. There is no law that says you may not bring a Bible to school and pray during study hall. If you are praying when you should be working, that is the same as any other disruption of class time such as chatting with other students and should be handled in the same manner. It is not illegal to quote the Bible unless you are attempting to quote it as fact.

Secondly, it is idiotic to assume that any one thing, especially school prayer, is going to help our schools to become more secure and united. If those kids who have killed at our schools who were not believers in a Christian God had been forced to pray to that God along with everyone else, they would have felt only more resentful of their differences. And what’s with

? So much for acceptance, hmm? Yes, we’ll solve our problems by isolating people who are different and calling them freaks and forcing them to pray to our God. That’ll cure things.

Sure. You go ahead and try that, and I’ll watch from the sidelines.

2

Well, let’s see. There’s so much to sandblast here that it’s hard to know where to begin, and where I should leave well enough alone. Particularly shortsighted is the part about:

First of all, I don’t think that most schools are handing out ‘condoms and birth controls,’ but that’s not really what I’m concerned about. In some schools (mostly colleges), you can of course study Wicca, vampirism, or Native American cultures, but – and this is the significant part – you can also study Christianity. The relevant restriction is that the school cannot be asserting as part of this course that Christianity is the correct religion, unless it is a private school, in which case normal restrictions do not apply. Public schools cannot sponsor a religion, because then it would appear that the government is sponsoring that religion. A private school can assert whatever it wants to, but a public school can still create a course on a topic so long as it does not express a religious viewpoint. Yet again the religious seem to be intentionally throwing away logic and truth in favor of fallacies and falsehoods. It’s getting tiresome, n’est pas?

3

Wasn’t there a part in the Bible where Jesus rebuked (love that word) the Pharisees for praying in an ostentatious manner? Man, at times like this, I wish I still had a Bible.

And they’ve outlawed guns? I don’t understand this part. And since when has the Bible been illegal to own or distribute?

“Our hair can be purple, orange or green,”

I daresay that you can be suspended or expelled in more schools for having oddly colored hair than for quietly reading a Bible or saying a silent prayer.

I have a lot more I’d like to say, but methinks that I need to find out how to quote with this new format first. On a related note, lots of our Church going community is in a tizzy because a Wican family is daring to hold a service (don’t know the proper term) in one of our parks. I think they honestly believe the park will become posessed by demons!

4

Wow. Hello stupidity, hello arguments, hello christians feeling proud of the poem, hello offending everyone else, hello christians feeling slighted when this piece of irredeemable trash gets shown as such. They just make it so easy.

“Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule”
It isn’t against the rules. You can pray all you want. They’ll never take that away from you. They couldn’t even if they wanted to, and they don’t. Of course “they” = the government. Silly bastards. You can still pray. You can get down on your knees and pray all you want. Just try and be quiet, no wailing, that would disrupt others. Same reason people aren’t allowed to sacrifice chickens in school, disruption. Pray quietly and you can pray all you want.
“For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.”
No, they find it alltogether too common. And God isn’t a part of the nation except insofar as it’s a part of the people. The nation is the people, and not all of the people think like you, pal.
“If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.”
That’s right, and? I’ve learned about the Bible. In school. Public school. As a matter of Literature. Not fact. You want it taught as fact. So go away.

“And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a federal matter now.”
Only if you were to bow it before, say, you were to pick up several automatic weapons and kill 50 people. Otherwise no one cares. Liar.
“Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.”
And? Are you trying to say that these “freaks” can do whatever the fuck they want while poor little christian can’t even pray (when hey can)?
“The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.”
No, prayers spoken LOUD are an annoyance.
“For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.”
No, it might bother the people that have legitimate work to do. No more, no less. Unless, of course, your prayer is “Dear God, smight these heathens and send them straight to the eternal damnation they so richly deserve, the godless bastards.” Then they’d be offended, because you’d be an asshole.

“In silence alone we must meditate,
God’s name is prohibited by the state.”
God’s name is prohibited by the state from being in the state. You can say it all you want. You could try to communicate solely using the word ‘God’ and no one could stop you. They’d rightly think you were insane, but they couldn’t stop you.
“We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,”
Nice attitude there, you unaccepting bigot. And no, people aren’t allowed to cuss. It’s against the rules, unlike prayer.
“And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.”
And this is a bad thing? Because you don’t do a thing, that makes it bad? Hello Mr. Primitive-I’m-an-intolerant-piece-of-trash-that-has-yet-to-grow-past-the-tribal-“hate-all-that-is-different”-xenophobic-mentality.
“They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.”
No.

“We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King.”
Yeah, because everyone else likes them, even if you don’t, because you wouldn’t let them be married anyway, would you? They aren’t even Christian, I’ll bet.

“It’s “inappropriate” to teach right from wrong,
We’re taught that such “judgements” do not belong.”
Wrong again. We teach right from wrong all the time in class. ‘No, don’t call him names’ You never learned that one. ‘Be nice’ You haven’t learned that one yet, either. ‘Share’ Whoops, you fail yet again.

“We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.”
Condoms and birth control is a bad thing? Didn’t you just criticize the unwed fathers and mothers? What, you want more people to criticize? Oh, that’s not what you meant? Sorry, pal, people have been having sex like that for YEARS. How many members of your family were ‘two months premature’? I wish birth control had been available then, then there’d be fewer of you.

“But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,”
Sure you didn’t lose a line here, Sani? And you’re right, the Ten Commandments aren’t allowed… IN ANY GOVERNMENT RUN FACILITY, JACKASS. You can post them on your walls all you like, it’s allowed.
“It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.”
Maybe if you left and went to a private school or just weren’t such a dick it would be a better place.

“So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot;
My soul please take!
Amen”
Dear God, please shoot this kid.
Note: I’m not criticizing Sani, but the author of the poem.

5

Damnation, I went to learn how to quote (same as the old way, don’t I feel stupid) and come back to find that Surgoshan has torn it all to pieces. And did a much better job of it than I would have done.

Oh, and learn to write poetry nimrod! Maybe, if you hadn’t spent all of your class time worrying about praying, you would have learned to write a decent poem. Not only am I offended by your fanatical religious views, my eyes and ears hurt.

6

My alma mater was a private school, a combined middle and high school. It had started out as a religious school, but had been moving away from that for some years, and by the time I showed up, they were just clearing out the last vestiges of their religious beginnings. However, a few things remained. Every day, at lunchtime, the students found their assigned spots at their tables, but were not allowed to sit down. Then, right before lunch was served, one of the teachers stood up in front of the dining hall and said grace over the bowed heads of the student body. Then we were all allowed to be seated. Now, what does someone like me with my non-religious upbringing do in a time like this? I tried not bowing my head, but that attracted unwanted attention, and occasionally, a reprimand from a teacher. So, I usually just bowed my head like a good little Christian, and thought about other stuff. One day, I happened to notice what the guy sitting next to me (another unbeliever) did. He casually leaned against his chair. Then, when they said grace, instead of bowing his head over his plate, simply looked down and stared at his feet, complying with the letter of the law, but not the spirit. So, that’s what I started doing. Anyway, I was very uncomfortable with the whole thing, but I never said anything. Fortunately, there must have been enough people who felt the same way, because this practice had vanished by the time I got to high school. Despite the fact that this isn’t a public school we’re talking about, I think it is also worth noting the fact that we studied the Bible in my senior Humanities class, but in a non-sectarian, objective manner, and that this was the same year I almost got suspended for having green hair.

In short, I have no sympathy whatsoever for the writer of that poem.

7

But we aren’t allowed “purple, orange or green” hair, or “to cuss and dress like freaks/And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.” Heck, most places you’re lucky if you can wear shorts. The rest of those things are grounds for suspension in every school I have ever been to. They’re considererd a distraction.

(Oh yes, hey idjit, you can pray all you want, as soon as you grow enough brain cells to memorize the words.)

8

OK, a little Web research reveals the following info:
Sani did miss a line. The full verse is

I found the poem in a few dozen places online, but none of them seems to list any author or source. Not surprisingly, it is thus far limited to moral-majority sites; it won’t have achieved too much coverage by the fourth (the National Prayer in Schools Day specified by some sites along with the poem).
One good sign: So far only 38 websites carry it, and none of them seem to have any stature in the actual religious community, so only some Christians are morons. (Of course, we knew this anyway.)
Keep those replies coming!

9

How long do you think it will be before we start getting this in our e-mail? I give it 3 days, max. I’ve got a lot of kooky relatives…

10

OK, so it looks like there was a missing line - but it wasn’t on the piece of paper I was copying from, either.

11

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Sanibel, you’re the man. I’d like to buy you a beer. In a few years, of course.
NTG: Sorry to pry, you can respond to my email or not as all as you prefer, but did you go to school in Albuquerque?

-andros-

12

Not to hijack, but I don’t find that poem nearly as offensive as the ones I get almost every day (I have some sappy weird kids that I don’t even know sending me e-mail and I’m too lazy to tell them) claiming to be written by a Columbine survivor. That’s so bad it’s almost profane. A bunch of names on a list at the bottom of e-mail doesn’t mean shit, people. Sorry, had to get that off my chest.

Back on topic, I’d just like to say I wouldn’t be surprised (Especially if George Dubya is elected) if they brought prayer back into school. Liberals just don’t have too many friends in Washington, anymore, and the one that we do have (The one that could sell refrigerators to Eskimos), is legally required to leave. Sunuvabitch. If Dubya wins, Congress’ll pass a bunch of Religious Right-pleasing laws, Dubya’ll sign 'em, and the Supreme Court will further rape the Bill of Rights by letting them stand. Then it’ll be quaint little poems written by the atheists and Muslims that you’ll find in restrooms.

Wow. I didn’t mean to wander that much. Just in a bad mood today, I guess.

13

This very “poem” was posted over at the LBMB this morning, so I’m thinking it’s already making the e-mail rounds.

No replies yet to the thread over there; no one stopping in to say how true it is and to call it a clear sign that the end times are nigh. It’s still early in the day, though.

Dr. J

14

That poem isn’t starting anything. I got it in my email about a year ago.

15

The wonderful self-righteous women I work with have this poem posted in our office:

Mary had a little lamb,
His fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.
He followed her to school each day,
T’wasn’t even in the rule.
It made the children laugh and play,
To have a Lamb at school.

And then the rules all changed one day,
Illegal it became;
To bring the Lamb of God to school,
Or even speak His Name.
Every day got worse and worse,
And days turned into years.
Instead of hearing children laugh,
We heard gun shots and tears.
What must we do to stop the crime,
That’s in our schools today?
Let’s let the Lamb come back to school,
And teach our kids to pray!
<///>< <///>< <///>< <///><
Same shit, different poem!!

16

Reminds me of the Outland (one of the greatest comic strips in the world) poem that went something like:

Little lamb, little lamb,
Blue eyes wide and now awake,
Would you mind so very much,
If I dropped you in my Shake-n-Bake?

Second verse!

Piglet snugly at my knee,
Pardon me, my B-L-T–

And that’s where it got cut off. Well, y’know, now that I think about it, that’s not really on topic, unless we want to shake-n-back Christ. And I think some people would have things to say about that.

17

Shake-n-bake Christ? What sort of veggies would one serve with that?

18

There seems to be a common misconception that prohibition of organized prayer == prohibition of all prayer. Actually, schools cannot penalize kids for praying unless they are creating a disturbance. What’s wrong with praying silently during lunch or study hall? Or, for that matter, praying at home? Is there anything in the Bible that says something to the effect that one has to pray during the period of time that kids are generally in school?

19

I think I saw this a while ago as well. I find it extraordinarily creepy. Here’s why: The kids who are repeating this stuff and passing it around have completely lost their teenager radar.

“It’s a freedom scene”

“We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks”

“Senior King/Queen”

Can you read this without wincing? It is so obviously the product of a (rather stuffy) adult’s warped perception of what it is like to be a contemporary teenager. In my day, this type of condescending tripe was discarded regardless of how well meaning the author was. Couching it in the “We kids feel this way” conceit only serves to make it more blatant.

Come on, guys, I admire your search for faith, and I admire your desire to lead a moral life, but let’s start developing a healthy mistrust of adults here.

20

I have to say that I might be a little more open to mandatory prayer in schools whenever kids start voluntarily praying in theaters, on busses, at parties, etc. Why should we mandate kids doing something that so many people (even the kids who are buying this mandatory prayer crap) feel is necessary for them when they don’t even do it voluntarily anywhere else but church and maybe at the dinner table?