The trailer has annoyed everyone I know who has seen it.
Drunk naked Noah passed out in his tent or it doesn’t get my money.
Yeah, incredible liberties (yeah, “Vikings” was pretty much the impression I got too), but whaddya expect, really? Anytime the original story is just too bland for movie audiences, they gotta embellish it. And the blander the source material, the further out on a limb they go. (This is pretty much happened with The Scarlet Letter, too; Roger Ebert even began his review by pointing it out.) And let’s face it, this was going to be a hard sell no matter what…rigid Old Testament fundamentalism isn’t exactly a hot property right now, and a massive flood killing lots of people could strike way too close to home for much of our country.
Eh. This looks like it’s going to be of those movies that’s a lot less fun to watch than to argue about. Most of the big religion-themed works are like that, I notice.
Wendell Wagner - Monty Python And The Holy Grail is astoundingly gory for a screwball comedy (seriously, the Black Knight battle with the spurting blood terrified me the first time I saw it), so pitching it as a hack-and-slash action movie really isn’t that much of a stretch. I almost can’t believe it got a PG rating.
True, there are gory moments in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but it’s not an action movie overall. You couldn’t cut it into an action trailer if it had no such moments, but that doesn’t mean that it’s like that in general. The same will probably be true of Noah. There will be scenes that are like those of an action movie, but it probably won’t be like that overall.
On the contrary. Remember why Ham was cursed, according to some commentators? 
[Emphasis added]
Some anal action in the Noah story is perfectly Biblical (albeit, ‘… with a dildo’ would be a gloss).
I find it hilarious that some fundamentalists or whoever are attacking the yet-unseen film as “historically inaccurate”! It’s a fable, people! It’s fiction - it didn’t actually happen!. Sheesh. I gotta get off the interwebs. except for maybe the dope.
It’s got to be better than Evan Almighty right?
Well, Noah was 900 years old. So he probably did go through an experimental phase or two.
This is actually what I expected when a friend dragged me to Raiders of the Lost Ark back in 1981.
After seeing the commercial another MILLION times (damn you, Tennis Channel!) I think it’s the combination of cheesy voiceover and the Russell Crowe’s snarky muttering of his lines. It makes it sound like Noah is supposed to be some action hero badass dropping Terminator-esque one-liners.
So now I’m choosing to hear it in an Austrian accent. This pleases me.
“Hey monkeys, come with me if you want to live.”
“Hasta la vista… sinners.”
Okay, now I’m REALLY going to enjoy the commercials.
According to Genesis 7, he was actually supposed to take seven pairs of each kind of clean animal, presumably so they could be used for food either during or after the time on the ark. So he had to make sure he had enough of the really delicious animals on board. Hence the line “There’s Noah counting for taste.”
Except of course - prior to the flood - they were vegetarians…
Based on this sampling, I think it’s a safe bet that this thread will end up being far more entertaining than the actual movie.
The gory moments are also really obviously fake.
Most of the reviews will likely come out tomorrow, but 76% positive with 58 reviews and 84% positive of the Cream of the Crop with 19 reviews.
Get to the Aaahhhkkk!
Saw the flick tonight. It wasn’t like the book (King James Version). It was much better.
A perfect example is the new film about Cesar Chavez. From the ad, you would think it’s a sequel to Thor.
The basketball tournament pre-empted Jeopardy tonight, so I flipped over to Hannity, and they were talking about Noah. And they were outraged.
First, apparently the movie doesn’t use the word “God.” Instead, it uses “Creator.” How insulting and blasphemous can you get?
Also, they were outraged that one of the writers said that they wanted to stress that the story of Noah was universal. Hannity noted that he had spent four years in a seminary studying theology, which was news to me, and then showed that he got his money’s worth by attacking this attempt to make Noah universal, when everybody knows that Noah is a Judeo-Christian story.
If you believe the Bible, which Hannity presumably does, then Noah is the ancestor of everyone on earth, and he lived long before Judaism was established, let alone Christianity. It’s kind of like saying Columbus was an American.
They also scoffed at the idea that Muslims would be interested in Noah, evidently not aware that the Quran recapitulates many of the stories in the Hebrew Bible, including Noah and the flood.
If they had dubbed in some of the Bill Cosby dialogue it would have been much better.
“What’s a cubit?”
“Riiiggggghhht”